It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

  • He only tells me what I want to hear, boyfriend being lazy

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 11-26-2003, 03:10 PM   #1
    Senior Member
    courtneyclv's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2003
    Location: henderson, nv
    Posts: 173
    courtneyclv HB User
    He only tells me what I want to hear, boyfriend being lazy

    To make a long story boyfriend of 3 1/2 years is driving me crazy. He keeps telling me he will get a second job but won't. (I tried to help him get a job at my place which pays good money and he wont call the manager back) He misses work to clean our apartment but just stays home and watches movies instead. I bought him a scooter for about $1500 last month and he said he will pay me back weekly. (I have only received 200.00 in the last month!)
    If his work is bad and I pay his bills for the month he says he will pay me back for that but doesn't.
    Another thing is that over two years ago I got engaged to him. I don't wear my ring though because I don't think he is very serious about our future. He won't talk to me about our financial future (he has no credit at all) and he doesn't want to save money or anything. Also, he has no savings and no money. If I wear my ring people will ask about a wedding. What am I going to for it myself??? The fact that he won't even discuss our future really bothers me. I know he wants to be with me and I do want to be with him..but only if he can get RESPONSIBLE.
    There were a couple of speeches he gave me about how he wants to be with me and he will try to do better...but in the long run I keep hearing all of this bull$hit and see no action from him. I know he loves me but I am tired of being with someone who 'lies' to me about what he is going to do and how he is going to change.

    Sponsors Lightbulb
    Old 11-26-2003, 05:49 PM   #2
    Junior Member
    untrustingbride's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2003
    Posts: 44
    untrustingbride HB User
    Re: He only tells me what I want to hear, boyfriend being lazy

    Ugh...I have been there before. (once married to a musician just like that!) It's hard because you want to believe them, and you can hear the sincerity in their voice, but always in the end a disappointment! I am actually married now to a man who loves me very much, but isn't so great with money. He doesn't really care as much as I do about the budget I made, and if it weren't for my constantly reminding him: "but we don't HAVE the money for that right now!" I think we'd be SO broke.

    What I suggest is this: When he asks for money, tell him that things are kind of tight this month, and you are SO sorry! You will try to help him NEXT month. Forget about the scooter...unfortunately, that is probably a lost cause at this point. (small loss considering what you could be losing in the future!)

    You see, he needs to begin to know that you as his safety net is no longer available. He doesn't have to push himself to survive because he KNOWS you will save him when he needs it!!! The trick is to not harp on him getting a job or repaying you for whatever, but to gently slide away the financial fostering you've been giving him! This is a very passive and gentle way of saying "do it yourself!" He can't get angry with you because you can't help him this month because if you do "YOU will be in financial straights!"

    I KNOW from experience this works. But if you keep helping him you will one day find yourself in a WHOLE HEAP of DEBT which will have HIS name and YOUR resentment all over it!!!

    What you're doing doesn't seem to hit home with switch least give it a try!

    Last edited by untrustingbride; 11-26-2003 at 05:50 PM.

    Old 11-26-2003, 06:09 PM   #3
    ajoliefan's Avatar
    Join Date: Aug 2002
    Posts: 3
    ajoliefan HB User
    Exclamation Re: He only tells me what I want to hear, boyfriend being lazy

    I know he loves me but I am tired of being with someone who 'lies' to me about what he is going to do and how he is going to change.[/QUOTE]

    I know exactly what you mean. I too have a boyfriend that lies to me constantly. They never will change no matter what we do, they have to
    want to on their own. I just lost alot of feelings for mine...thats what
    his pathological lying did to me...pretty soon i wont have none left, and
    then he will be without me..
    If you cant beat em' join em'..

    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Am I just acting like a psycho or what?! jbean08 Relationship Health 4 01-18-2009 02:03 AM
    just wondering what you think.. hunnybun1504 Pregnancy 53 01-20-2005 09:04 AM
    Help!! What are my chances of getting salmonella/food poisoning from this!!? GettingWellAgain General Health 2 04-09-2004 02:12 PM

    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off

    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:08 AM.

    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!