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Frustrated with Friend...


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Old 11-26-2003, 06:15 PM   #1
Deep_in_Thought
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Location: California
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Angry Frustrated with Friend...

I have been friends with this guy for a few years now. Currently, we are both looking for employment. As of recently, we decided to start looking for employment together. Basically, his car is in the shop, so he is relying on me for transportation .

Today, we went to a couple of temp. agencies. During the car ride, all he seemed to be able to talk about was himself. He is constantly complaining to me about his life ( his mother, lack of money, etc.). It's really starting to drain me, especially since I'm in a similar situation, and he doesn't seem to take the time to listen to my frustrations. I tell him something about my life, and all he does is go "uh huh, uh huh" in a hurry-up-so-I can-say-something way. This actually isn't anything new...it's just intensified during this break in employment. I'm getting to where I don't want to be around him anymore. I'm just boiling beneath the surface...especially when he backseat drives.

I guess my own feelings are magnified by the fact that he has always held this belief that women are inferior to men...or so it seems. He's almost said it in so many words. I just want to YELL at him sometimes, but I just don't for some reason. I hold it inside, which is really toxic to me. I just don't want to overreact.

Does anyone know someone like this? How would you suggest I handle him?

I consider myself to be a very intelligent person but, when I'm around him, I sometimes feel like dirt. It pisses me off!! Although he has said that I am intelligent, I still sense this underlying current of "I'm better than you" going on in his brain.

I should also add that he wants to apply for jobs in different towns/counties next week. Sounds like a good idea, but I really don't know if I can take any more of him...I think I may flip my lid

I know that he does care about me, and I care about him. On many occasions, we even have fun together . It's just that, at times like this, I wonder how I have put up with him for this long . I know that I need to be more assertive. This is something that I have been working on for a while. I'm improving, but I still need some extra nudging .

What should I do? How should I approach this hurdle in our friendship? Any suggestions are welcome .

Colleen

Last edited by Deep_in_Thought; 11-26-2003 at 07:14 PM.

 
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Old 11-26-2003, 07:04 PM   #2
burtonbabe
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Re: Frustrated with Friend...

Gotta love a narccisist!!

I have a "friend" like that.She does nothing but complain about her life and

how "everythings just sooooooo overwhelming and work is sooooo tough and her

life is sooooo screwed up and shes soooooo fat".Everytime I tell her

something,like if I was to say to her "Yeah,my moms in the hospital dying" She

would say "oh yeah (in a rushed kinda way) and then talk about how somehow

the hospital is related to her and how the world owes her one.

The problem with people like this is that sometimes,they dont understand what

they are doing,they hold conversations by talking about themselves because

they dont understand that its hard for people to listen to them talk about

themselves all the time.Everything in their life is PURE DRAMA, everything is just

way too hard and life is just too dam tough for them.The problem with

narcissists is that they dont realize that they hurt and annoy people by

constantly filling us in on their lives without ever showing a pinch of empathy

towards us.I guess we can all be a little bit

narcissistic at times,because we do need to be heard but

when we absolutely have to be heard and hear from our friends "poor you,your

so strong,poor girl" Then it becomes a problem.Its hard to change a narcissist

because themselves lack empathy and without that,why would they care about

what anyone else has to say or how they feel?

Id say to just straight out say to him "hey,would u mind listening to me for

once?" Dont beat around the bush,just say exactly what you think.

Hope this helped.

Peace
__________________
Look at me
you may think you see who I really am
but youll never know me
now I see if I wear a mask I can fool the world
but I cannot fool my heart
who is that girl I see,starting straight back at me?
When will my reflection show who Iam inside..

 
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