It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?


Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-02-2003, 07:43 PM   #1
nixie
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Boston
Posts: 32
nixie HB User
Question do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?

I have been hung up on my ex- until Saturday when I met a new guy! I'm so happy because now I am forgetting about the jerk.
Anyways, I was hanging out where my best friend bartends and I met this guy. At first I couldn't even look at him because I thought he was like so cute, then he turned and I saw how one side of his face was disfigured by a recent accident. Its not that important because he is still quite cute. I am a bit wierd and am attracted to people that are different, and even flawed.
Anyway, at first I was a little surprised by his flaw, then I realized that he is still very cute and is probably very self conscious. I started talking to him & flirting. I touched his hand gently when I took his lighter. He asked me my name twice, if I worked there, and he stayed outside in the cold with no jacket (minutes after he finished smoking) just to talk to me. My bartender friend interrupted us and his friends all showed up, we chatted accross the bar a little more about some upcoming movies.
I kept looking at him and he was looking at me, almost staring. He kept looking at me even when I looked at him. I had to look away because it was just so forward.
I felt very flattered and very attracted to him. But we were not sitting close enough to be able to carry on our conversation and a lot of his friends (two of which I know) were there. They left to go somewhere else and I stayed. When he left I was bummed that I didn't get his number, and I felt like he was probably bummed out too. But I do know two of the guys hanging out with his crew. I have my friend working on getting his number right now.
I know this might be a rebound thing and I really have nothing to lose but here is my main question. Is it okay to call someone you've only met once? And is it acceptable to call him at home considering I had to go through people to get his number? I just don't know if that is okay? I don't want him to think I am a stalker or desperate.

I could try to hang out at the bar again, and see if he's there looking for me. That was the 1st time he went there, and I don't go too frequently. Also I KNOW those guys that he's friends with but I DON"T hang out with them (they're alright) and likely won't anytime soon. That's not much of an option for me. Also if I wait too long trying to run into him, It'll be too late to call him up.
I really felt a spark & I'd appreciate any input.
__________________
NIX

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 12-02-2003, 07:59 PM   #2
lolliegirl
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 37
lolliegirl HB User
Re: do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?

I would say, if you are comfortable with calling him, than go ahead. It is probably better to find out now whether he likes you or not than wasting time thinking about him. If he doesn't like you than you can move on quickly. I personally would go to the bar and see if I run into him, just because I don't think I have the nerve to call a guy. My best friend does stuff like that and she has never been rejected once, but she also gets a lot of guys who think she is easy. I think that he would be receptive because he was staring at you, so I would try to hook up with him. Hope I helped!

 
Old 12-02-2003, 08:09 PM   #3
Magnetic
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,175
Magnetic HB UserMagnetic HB User
Re: do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?

Being disfigured, he might be very shy. He might also have someone else, which is why he didn't ask for your name or phone number - something most guys would do (not all - many are too shy and he may be quite self consious and afraid to get turned down). My guess is that if he is interested he will show up at the bar at the same day and time as before. I would recommend going back at that time, and then see what happens if he is there. If not, and if you are still interested, then go on and give him a call. Tell him you hoping to see him there and since he wasn't he found out who he was and decided to give him a call. You can also ask him if he is involved with someone else, but I think it would be best to keep things low key until you find out a little more about him. Still, he might be a great guy and so what if it is a "rebound" thing - anything to make you forget and move on can't be all bad. Good luck.

 
Old 12-02-2003, 09:03 PM   #4
nixie
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Boston
Posts: 32
nixie HB User
Re: do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?

thanks for the advice. Magnetic- he did ask me my name, twice! And he asked me if I worked at the restaurant we were at. And if he wanted to ask for my number he was totally interrupted by my nosy friend who came out looking for me .I asked my friend who knows him a little and she said him & his friend both don't have girlfriends.

My first instinct was to go back to the bar, same night & time, but I am working this Saturday night until 1:00 am! But my best friend will be bartending again, so if he came in I could have her give him a message for me.
Also, thanks for the insight about guys thinking you are easy if you call him. I can see how that would be true. The thing is- what if he's busy this Saturday, and then forgets about me.... and I feel like it would be too late, by then, for me to call him out of the blue.
Oh yeah, and my friend will probably try to get his number tonight. Maybe if he hears this and I don't call him, he will go to the bar & try to find me.
Ug! Best case scenario would be for him to know I am interested and then have him ask me out. Maybe I should just go thru the friends, rather than calling him up?
__________________
NIX

 
Old 12-03-2003, 09:39 AM   #5
SophiaM
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 5,531
SophiaM HB User
Re: do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?

I think you had a good idea with leaving a note for him with your bartender friend. Just something simple, like "Blonde (or brunette, etc.) in a blue sweater from last Saturday would like to talk to you" with a phone number at the bottom. This will leave him the option of whether he wants to pursue you or not. Of course, you can also wait and go there the following week at the same time. From your description, it sounds like the guy is quite interested. Good luck!

 
Old 12-03-2003, 11:55 AM   #6
Leanea
Inactive
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 291
Leanea HB User
Re: do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?

I know you may not like my opinion, but I don't think that just seeing someone in a bar is a great way to meet. Mostly that type of relationship doesn't work out because its so superficial. I would wait and see what happens, and just be cool. Be more realistic, like think of people you have things in common with and are attracted to. Well whatever you do...good luck!

 
Old 12-03-2003, 02:22 PM   #7
SophiaM
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 5,531
SophiaM HB User
Re: do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?

I disagree with Leannea. It doesn't really matter that you met at the bar. So what? Normal people go to bars. You don't have to be an alcoholic to be in a bar. Why should, say, an online dating service be better? At least you had a chance to see him in person, you know you are attracted to him and he seems to be attracted to you. That's a start. I'd say go for it, what do you have to lose? I personally know at least two couples who met at a bar and they are now happily married.

 
Old 12-03-2003, 05:20 PM   #8
nixie
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Boston
Posts: 32
nixie HB User
Re: do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?

thanks for the advice. I talked to my friend, the bartender, and she is telling me to go to a store where this kid that knows Ryan (the guy I like) works at and ask him to get Ryan's number for me. I don't want to do that, cuz a girl I'm friends with is good friends with the guy who works at the store, and she can easily ask him for me. Plus, it is embarrassing enough to ask my girlfriend to get a guys number for me, nevermind another guy that I hardly know! Besides, she didn't seem to mind at all when I asked her.
ANyways, now I am just frustrated and I feel really silly for liking someone I only met and I feel like a big dork for wanting something more. Now I am just thinking about giving up. If my friend pulls through for me & gets his number I will call him. If not then I will drop it and maybe he'll go to the bar and my bartender friend can give him my digits.
It is all so frustrating, and now that nice feeling is starting to fade and self- doubt is setting in. I just am sick of being the loner.
Plus, New England is freezing cold and it is just not very fun to be frozen without someone to warm you up!
__________________
NIX

 
Old 12-05-2003, 01:21 AM   #9
1965_Bruce
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: United States of America
Posts: 188
1965_Bruce HB User
Re: do I ask a guy(that I really just met) out?

I say, nah, dont give up. go and ask him. I do not think a woman who makes the first move is "easy". Who knows, maybe he's too shy to ask YOU out! Be brave and go for it!

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
There is a guy that has same CP. Deborah7 Cerebral Palsy 9 08-10-2007 03:23 PM
The guy that can't get a girl. Colin055 Relationship Health 8 02-05-2007 09:34 PM
The guy that I really like replyed to a message I wrote? Sweet55 Relationship Health 4 09-03-2006 09:56 AM
How do I tell a guy that I am a virgin? lnor1082 Sexual Health - Women 11 04-14-2006 08:30 PM
jealous of the guy that broke my heart. lady346 Relationship Health 54 03-17-2006 01:39 PM
Guy that has a g/f is sendin me mixed messages... please help send_an_angel Relationship Health 2 05-21-2005 06:33 PM
My best friend hits on they guy that I like, while at my party and im watching!!!!!!! malibubarbie Teen Health 4 05-15-2003 02:01 PM




Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:22 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2017 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!