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should i take him back?


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Old 12-13-2003, 10:11 PM   #1
rachlove33
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should i take him back?

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend now for a yr and a half. The first problem is that he lives almost 2 hrs away but we usually still see each other once a week. Recently his roommate came to me and told me that my boyfriend had slept with another girl. At first my bf tried to cover this up, but he finally admitted it to me and i reluctantly broke up with him. He has continued to call me and plead with me to take him back and i have been considering it because i am terrified that i will never find someone i love this much again. I told him that i'd consider taking him back if he showed the dedication to move out to where i live. I said this NEVER thinking he would do it! After i offered this to him, i hung up, changed my number, and we didn't talk for a few days. Somehow he found out the new number and called to tell me he wants to move here to be with me. He wants to try it until summer that way neither of us is stuck if it doesn't work out. I am scared to let him come here b/c i'm afraid he'll cheat again. I told him it will take a very very long time for me to trust him again, but at this point i'm wondering if i should still try to salvage. At this point i just want to figure out if i should just walk away or try to let him fix it as he has asked of me.
Please help

 
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Old 12-14-2003, 11:37 AM   #2
conniefolger
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Re: should i take him back?

Hello! you know this is a tough question and I have to be honest with you from my own exsperiences once they cheat and you take them back they change for awhile to make you believe that everything is ok but then bam they hit you in the face and do it again and they think that all they have to do is shed some tears and beg for your forgiveness. Once they have broken your trust it is hard to get it back and if you can not continue the relationship with out questioning him then it is best that you donot take him back. Only you can make that decision wether you can live like this or not. I have to say that people do make mistakes and they do deserve a chance to prove themselves but if he does this again than you need to end the relationship because firstly that means that he does not love or respect you enough to be loyal, secound you deserve better than that, thirdly there are good guys out there and he is not the only man in this world and you can love again and be loved too. Take care and just take your time on making the right decision for you
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Old 12-14-2003, 12:28 PM   #3
Leanea
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Re: should i take him back?

He should know where to go after cheating on you and its not back to you! Don't let him manipulate you. It's a very bad idea to get closer to someone who just lost your trust. Tell him that if he were worthy of your love then you would have wanted to share life together, but unfortunately for him that can't be (ahhh...sigh). Also explain sweetly to him that you just need some time to......... find someone else!

Last edited by Leanea; 12-14-2003 at 12:36 PM.

 
Old 12-14-2003, 02:47 PM   #4
Want 2 B Well
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Re: should i take him back?

What about the "other girl"? A roommate telling on him? Sounds fishy too me.
What motive does a roomate have for telling? Does he like you or not like you? OR Does he prefer the "other girl"?
This part of your story is just "ODD". Roommates generally don't go and rat each other out, without a motive, you know?

I think I would tell him you need time to think about it and then let him wait. My advice would be to not "jump" back into the fire. Sort out your head first.
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Last edited by Want 2 B Well; 12-14-2003 at 02:48 PM.

 
Old 12-14-2003, 03:15 PM   #5
rachlove33
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Re: should i take him back?

"What about the "other girl"? A roommate telling on him? Sounds fishy too me.
What motive does a roomate have for telling? Does he like you or not like you? OR Does he prefer the "other girl"?
This part of your story is just "ODD". Roommates generally don't go and rat each other out, without a motive, you know?"

His roomie told me b/c the girl was a girl he was interested in pursuing a relationship with. I also think his roomie had a thing for me b/c after he told me, he tried TWICE to kiss me and i told him no both times. I guess his motive was both to get back at my bf for what he did as well as try to get with me.

 
Old 12-14-2003, 08:25 PM   #6
Want 2 B Well
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Re: should i take him back?

Now that is interesting. You know you could possibly dig up some more background on your BF and find out how much he is/was cheating on you. I am not saying that this is a good thing but well the roomie could spill his guts to you and then you may know more. You know what I am saying?
This may have not been the first girl he cheated with, so you have someone to confirm if this is true.

All I am saying before you have this guy move near you "to see if it will work" check it out, maybe??
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Old 12-14-2003, 09:57 PM   #7
XLNS1
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Re: should i take him back?

Once a cheater, always a cheater

Really, don't think the guy won't cheat on you or anyone else he ends up for that matter again

if he truely loved you, you think he would go out and have sex with another girl? how does that relate to loving you whatsoever?

You should call it quits as they are bigger fish in the sea, trust me, there are more stuff you should worry about then your "boyfriend" who has sex with other women and begs for forgiveness again only winding up to cheat on you again

 
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