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  • appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

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    Old 12-16-2003, 02:02 PM   #1
    maryett
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    appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    Let's say you were at a family get-together and you were wearing a top which revealed your cleavage, or was close-fitting enough to reveal the shape and size of your breasts.

    You would probably expect to see some guys sneaking a perve, but would you expect that to include your own father? Do you think that's appropriate behaviour from your father to check you out?

    I realise this is a very uncomfortable topic to discuss, that's why I would rather just ask for opinions than actual experiences - but if you want to talk about them, feel free.

    For the record, I, personally, think it's inappropriate for a father to check out his daughter, and especially to the point where she can actually see him doing it. I just want to hear what everyone else thinks about it.

     
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    Old 12-16-2003, 02:12 PM   #2
    nadine
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    Wow, that is a very touchy subject. Just a couple of questons: Is he your biological father? Is this the first incident where you have felt this from your father? Are you in your teens, 20's, 30's?
    Aside from all the questions... that is just something that if true is really quite honestly the most horrific thing I can think of... I don't know what else to say, other than it might be that you felt he was checking you out... he might have been trying to assess if what you were wearing was appropriate for the occasion...??? That is why I wanted to know what your past history with him had been. I always make it a point to not were tight outfits, lowcut stuff infront of male members of my family... not that they would check me out, but I just feel uncomfortable.. I know many women do, but I just can't. Thats just me. Because I would be in the same shoes as you, "was my.... trying to check me out, I feel creeped out"... so I don't even put myself in that situation.. although I know that would NEVER be the case. Anyway, hope this helped you out.

     
    Old 12-16-2003, 04:08 PM   #3
    JessieDy80
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    I think it's normal for fathers to make sure their daughters are dressed appropriately. My father always tells me if he thinks my shirt is too flimsy (I do NOT dress sexily, but my breasts have a mind of their own, and sometimes, unintentionally, my nipples are visible through a bra and shirt). He never wants to have to see my breasts, and if he feels they are too present in my appearance, he'll tell me so I can do something about it. But I do think it would be weird and inappropriate for a father to actually "check out" his daughter's breasts in the same way other men would. But if that's the only time anything like that happened, maybe he was just trying to figure out who his daughter takes after.

    I sure hope my children will take after my husband's side of the family in the breast dept, as I have had two breast reductions and they're still too big, getting bigger daily, too, as I am 21 weeks pregnant.

     
    Old 12-16-2003, 05:29 PM   #4
    ErimusValidus
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    It freaked me out bad enough on holiday last summer when I caught my old man's eyes popping out at this German girl who was wearing a skimpy two piece in the pool. She was generously proportioned, shall we say, and we when we were mucking around with a small football in the pool it landed nearby her. She pounced out of the water to get it for us and I just saw my Dad's stare fixed on her chest as she thrusted forwards. Granted, it was a nice site to behold but there's taking a sneaky glimpse and there's salivating openly with your jaw wide open. I didn't like it. I didn't say anything to him, though.

     
    Old 12-17-2003, 04:04 PM   #5
    maryett
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    Yeah well it MUST be a pretty touchy subject since I only got 3 replies...

    I wouldn't say my father (biological father BTW, and I'm in my 30's) has checked out my breasts per se, but last year I caught him looking at me dreamily as if he was a teenager admiring my beauty. It felt very uncomfortable. There has been a strange vibe ever since I became a teenager and ever since then I have felt self-conscious around him. He did say once to my mum, brother and me that he once openly ogled my cousin's breasts and he made a big joke out of it.

    And I did actually see my grandfather (my mother's father) looking at my chest area recently when I was wearing a tight-fitting t-shirt.

    I have never liked to wear revealing clothes just like both of my sisters - wonder why?! I agree with you Nadine, I think I'll keep covered up in front of male family members in future. I'd rather not take any chances.

     
    Old 12-17-2003, 06:40 PM   #6
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    First off, that is just sooo freakin plain sickening to check out your own daughters luggage. 2ndly, at a family reunion?? *** not to be mean but thats mental, to go to a family get together and be checkin out relatives.. BLEH! I can't imagine, I don't want to imagine!!

    And yes thats not appropriate fatherly behavior.

     
    Old 12-18-2003, 06:56 AM   #7
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    This is my opinion and you probably won't like it but I feel a family get together is not the time to wear sexy clothes.If I were going to a family get together, I would wear something of a more happy kind of nature.Perhaps a sweatshirt or loose tshirt with a picture of the occasion ,example Christmas or Thanksksgiving scene.Thats why we have all kinds of different clothing in the stores so we can dress appropiately on any occasion.Wearing sexy clothing reguardless of where you are going is just asking for attention.Thats my opinion.

    Last edited by daylight568; 12-18-2003 at 06:58 AM.

     
    Old 12-18-2003, 09:16 AM   #8
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    As I was reading everyones replys, everything seemed to be for "chinchilla" to change. What is the problem addressing the situation for what it is. Why should you change? You are not the one with wondering eyes. I personally would address the situation in an appropriate manner of course, but to the point. When it is happening you should say something. It sounds as though, I would not leave little ones attended by these men. Family or not..... Unleess you feel you want to change your choice of clothing when you are around them... well than do so. But.... If you don't, do something about it. Good luck

     
    Old 12-18-2003, 09:35 AM   #9
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    I was giving my brother a hair cut once and my big tee shirt was a bit TOO big and was falling off my shoulder .. he said .. pull that *$%! up I dont want to look at my sisters chest!!

    I was happy that he didnt let me flash him even if it was TOTALY unintentional .. I have to say .. its easier just to wear a bigger shirt (not TOO big) than to change a father who hasn't DONE anything wrong (IE touched you or made rude or off color comments) .. I have to go with the lesser of two evils .. just wear a diffrent shirt. It will make you more comfortable!
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    Old 12-19-2003, 12:27 PM   #10
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    I would like to know more about where your dad was brought up. I have family members that "check each other out." They just make comments on changes, or a particular look. One guy told me it seemed like such a short time since he brought his baby girl home from the hospital and how she had grown up, the changes to her body, her passage from girl-dom to womanhood, etc... Is it at all possible he was recollecting you as a child and noticing you as an adult to account for the stare he had? It sounds kind of corny, I know, but guys are visual critters and it could be just that innocent. I would say dress the way you feel is comfortable and appropriate for you. If you catch him looking again and you get uncomfortable, tell him to take a picture, it'll last longer, and see if it will evoke a reaction from him to start talking about it!

     
    Old 12-19-2003, 01:15 PM   #11
    Leanea
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    Re: appropriate fatherly behaviour towards a daughter

    I have this problem everywhere I go, I try to dress modestly. That doesn't solve the whole problem alone. I have to be concious of the way I carry myself and careful not to make eye contact with men. This can be sooo stressful sometimes (if I focus on it), like when I'm being stared at and I'm sitting on the bus or anywhere. I have to say that the most important thing is to just not care who's looking and not to think about it. How? Just knowing that you look, behave, and basically ARE decent is the important thing, because that self assuredness let's them know/reminds them they're dealing with a lady, and that they'd better keep their distance or else! That goes for any man anywhere. So, basically I'm saying that you have a certain power in this matter to decide how a man will behave towards you. Having said that I don't think its fair, but you can't deny that you sometimes you need to take care of you regardless.

     
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