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I need to sue someone and don't want too.


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Old 12-30-2003, 01:05 PM   #1
Temperamental
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I need to sue someone and don't want too.

Am I doing the right thing? I have a friend (an old roommate) that I loaned money too, not to mention he skipped out and did not pay any rent the last 6 weeks he was there. That I am not really concerned about but I loaned him $600 and he has not made an attempt to pay back a dime of it and it has been a year. He told me he would pay back every dime to me and I even have something signed from him stating he owes me a total of $1100.00. I have tried to talk to him about it and all I get is excuses from him. I told him I want the $600 cash back and I would forgive the rest of it and he keeps telling me he will pay me but never ever does. He lives in the same complex I do but he is hardly ever home so it's hard for me to go over and talk to him. I know he is having a hard time paying his bills and that his lease with his current landlord probably will not be renewed but that is his own fault. He is 50 years old and really irresponsible w/ his money he did however attempt to buy a truck but was turned down for credit so i am thinking, he has money to do other things with but not pay me. I could use the money myself and it makes me mad I even loaned it to him.

I know where he works, he is also self employed but I do not think he is doing much with his business. I have been contemplating filing in civil court and having him served but I know he will be really ****** at me but what other choice to I have? I don't want to make this personal, but I feel he is not going to pay me unless he is forced too. I feel taken advantage of totally. He doesn't even keep in touch anymore because he knows I will ask about the $$$.

I am sure I would win since I have something signed from him.

Should I write him one last final letter letting him know my intentions to sue? Afterall I know his credit is terrible, he does not need one more judgement on his credit report. The only way I would probably get any $$ is to file for wage garnishment but I am not sure if he is W2'd or not with his job. I don't want to do that either but again, he is not leaving me many options here.

Thanks,

 
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Old 12-30-2003, 01:29 PM   #2
Dawnrise
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

Don't wait any longer. File in small claims court. And I wouldn't bother telling him that you're thinking of filing because he may slip out of the area if he knows you're going to take him to court. If he was any friend at all he would at least try to give you small payments. It's not your problem he has financial woes. Nowadays, you have to look after yourself. It's good that you have all this in writing. Smart. Good luck!

 
Old 12-30-2003, 03:21 PM   #3
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

A good rule of thumb is never to lend money to ANYONE that you are not prepared to make into a gift. If you file a lawsuit, you MAY end up getting the money back, but you will also lose a friend. Is it worth the hostility? Write it off to experience and STOP lending money that you cannot afford to abandon

 
Old 12-30-2003, 03:49 PM   #4
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

Yes I will not loan money anymore, but if he was a friend he would pay back the money anyways. Friends do not screw each other. That is what angers me the most. He obviously is not too concerned about the friendship otherwise he would have paid me back my now.

 
Old 12-30-2003, 04:15 PM   #5
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

Will forcing him to pay you back make him a better friend? I think it might show him the value people have on money, not friendship.

 
Old 12-31-2003, 06:41 AM   #6
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

It is not worth the headache in my book. I would let it go if it were me. Also I am like one of the above posters. If you give someone money, don't expect it back. Makes life easier.
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Old 12-31-2003, 06:43 AM   #7
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

Friends should not take advantage of their friends. So he's not much of friend in my book.

 
Old 12-31-2003, 07:46 AM   #8
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

Everyone here, I think, would agree that this guy is not much of a friend. But how to handle it is where people are disagreeing. Sueing someone will get your money back, but it will probably make anyone you feel worse since you will be dealing with your exfriend by getting it back by force and not in a friendly way. This is where I would say to myself that the money is not worth my doing something I am against anyway, and that is not the way I choose to live which is why I cannot be friends with a person who would put me in that position. Obviously this person only thinks about the money he needs nothing else and he is a good example of how I don't want to be. These are the principles that I stand by and no one can change them merely by borrowing my money and not returning it. From now on I will not risk sacrificing my principles and so I will not lend money unless I am sure that I can get over it if that person for any reason does not return it. I am not a company or a bank and my type of friendship does not have a price tag on it. I would really learn from this and move on.

 
Old 12-31-2003, 08:11 AM   #9
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawnrise
Friends should not take advantage of their friends. So he's not much of friend in my book.
I am sorry but I don't think that is fair. The money was loaned to someone who has trouble with money. To expect it back is not realistic.
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Old 12-31-2003, 08:19 AM   #10
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

You mentioned in your original post that this friend didn't have money for bills or maybe even rent.
Taking him to court still means he has to come up with money he obviously doesn't have.

I know it would make you feel like you had won a battle against someone you feel took advantage of you to take him to small claims.
But poor is poor. If he doesn't have it the court can't take it from him and you'll still feel used.

I would either write him, or call him, whichever is more comfortable and tell him you know that times are hard and that you are writing off the loan and that you wish him the best in life. The End.

He's left feeling greatful to someone who he knows will never trust him again and you will have taken the high road...

 
Old 12-31-2003, 04:49 PM   #11
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

You might tell him (in a letter or in person) that while you understand times are tough, you expect him to keep his promise to you to pay back his loan. Ask him to sign another agreement stating that he owes you $1,100 (in the from of a promisary note), and that he will make weekly (or biweekly or monthly, whatever) payments to you of, say $25, $50, whatever, until the note is paid in full. Add that if he misses any payment the remaining amount will be due immediately and that he will pay for any court costs and other reasonable attorney's fees to collect the money. Tell him if he doesn't sign this paper, you will take him to court right now, and give him three days to sign. On the fourth day, if he hasn't signed, go file the papers.

Don't worry about losing the friendship - it is already over. He destroyed it. You have no reason to feel bad as he is the one using you and taking advantage of you and hoping you will forget the debt and simply go away.

 
Old 01-01-2004, 01:32 AM   #12
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

If you are not is desperate need of the money (ie. not in major debt or cant pay your bills), then yes I would CONSIDER taking this person to court. If not I would just wipe my hands clean of the situation. Court is not fun and if you are going to have to live near to this person, and see this person often, it is going to be akward and stressful for you.

"I know he is having a hard time paying his bills and that his lease with his current landlord probably will not be renewed but that is his own fault."

I feel sorry for people who have trouble managing their money and barely making the bills to scrape by. If one of my *friends* did this to me I would say just keep the money. I have already given it to them and have managed without it for a year.

"Afterall I know his credit is terrible,"

If you knew his credit was so poor why would you lend him the money? I am sure when you were roommates you had some inclination of how he managed his money. I am quite sure he did not do a 180 and change is ways when he moved out and become a poor credit, barely scraping by kind of guy. There must have been some clues and warnings.

"He doesn't even keep in touch anymore because he knows I will ask about the $$$. "

Possibly if you go burry the agreement in the garden and give it to him as a New Years present you may be able to re-kindle your friendship. Money should not come between friendship. I agree with the above poster, be the better man.

"The only way I would probably get any $$ is to file for wage garnishment but I am not sure if he is W2'd or not with his job."
Do you really want to garnish the wages of a man that already having problems with his money? I do not think that $25-$50 a month you would recieve would really make a big difference in very many households.

IMO I would just let it go... and let it be gone. Most people have half a heart and would feel bad for not paying back a loan from a friend.

Paris

 
Old 01-01-2004, 10:20 AM   #13
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

You have to just figure out what is more important to you. To maintain this friendship or whether the money owed to you is more important. Either way, you are doing the right thing. It is how you want it to be.

I have loaned money to my brother over the years and have never received a cent back in return yet. I have my own way of dealing with this though. Since I live out of state, the few times I get to visit him, I end up stealing nik naks from him. Small stuff like CD's, books and such. After I get back home, I call him up (collect) and tell him about it and we both get a kick out of it. It's almost like he's expecting it, knowning I will never come close to stealing enough nik naks to make up all the interest free money I've loaned him over the years.

Even though my brother has asked for loans, I've always viewed them as a gift, although I've never told him that. If he ever comes up with the money and offers to pay me back, I will probably just tell him to keep it. I've never really missed it and I don't need it. I won't even start talking about one of my sisters, but the same applies. I've also loaned smaller amounts to life long friends with the same result. Whatever the case, I value the relationship with my brother, sisters and friends more than the money they owe me. They have always been there for me in the past when I've needed them. More important to me in helping put things in perspetive, is the fact that no matter how generous I may think I am, I will never achieve the level of generosity that exists in my parents. They bring me back down to earth real quick every single time.

So my advice is to deal with this issue one way or the other and move on. Don't let it become a negative issue you will be reminded of the rest of your life, especially if you stand the chance of running into this guy on occasion.

Hoop

 
Old 01-01-2004, 03:41 PM   #14
KimWantsABaby
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

Here is my take on this. I am a very loyal person who has kept friendships alive for years. I would NEVER borrow money from anyone and not pay them back. I would work 2 jobs, do whatever I can to pay them. There is no excuse for borrowing a large sum of money then not paying it back. Especially if he told you he was going to buy a truck and then didn't for whatever reason? Some people have no class, and just do not care, plain and simple. Yes you realized you should not have loaned him the money, now you do have a right to get it back.

I agree with writing him a letter and asking for one last time to do the right thing and pay back the money. If not you will sue him, and that will be the end of the friendship. It doesn't sound like there is much left of a friendship anyways regardless wht you do, so you should try and get the money back.

I know alot of people that do really stupid things with their money. Most of the times people are broke because it is their own fault. They blow it on dumb crap and they pay bills and debts last it happens all the time. It's the american way. A fool and their money will soon part.

 
Old 01-02-2004, 01:33 PM   #15
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Re: I need to sue someone and don't want too.

The original post was from Oct, so I wonder if you have done anything yet about this money?

Personally, friend or no friend, I would get my $$ back. If you have something on paper signed that he was to pay you back the LOANED $$, then he owes it to you. You have the proof, so why not just go to small claims & see what the judge has to say. It's not your fault that he is bad with $$. He is 50 years old... time to grow up buddy! There are plenty of ppl out there who are struggling to survive - but the decisions you make are going to affect your life. It's no one's fault but his own that he is in the situation he is. Why is it fair for him to have taken your $$, after saying he was going to pay it back, & never do anything about it. Not only is that not the way a friend would be, that's just plain rude! I don't think you were stupid to loan him the $$ & you should not have expected to not get it back either, as someone else said. When you LOAN someone $$, it's a loan - you didn't give it to him & say, "Here's $600... don't worry about paying me back! Keep it!" No, you have a written agreement & therefore deserve your $$ back, so go get it.

BTW - no matter how little $$ he has, if he is ordered by the court to pay your $600 then he is ordered to pay it. If he fails to pay it back within the time limit given, then he is in contempt of court. They are not just going to say to you, "Well, I see that you want your $$ back, but Mr. So & So doesn't have it to give... so you are outa luck. Sorry, better luck next time!" Nope, that's just not the way it works! If he is ordered to pay, you either get the $$ or he faces the consiquences!!!

Good luck & hopefully you have already made steps to do something about this!

Last edited by TeTr01; 01-02-2004 at 01:35 PM.

 
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