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Keeping a relationship ALIVE!!!!

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Old 12-30-2003, 09:39 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 434
nightowl2 HB User
Question Keeping a relationship ALIVE!!!!

what if you were "just right"..ya know the beginning...a good healthy weight.....then you met someone and during the ten years that you were with this person you put on say, 30 extra lbs,and the partner that you have wanted you to lose this weight....but, you did nothing about it..because you had a heart problem and you carry around an "o2" tank,and it is not that easy to lose the weight......and say that the man that you were with for those ten years suddenly decided without any warning(except for the "I wish that you would lose some weight" comments) decided enough was enough, and said "I'm outta here!" I would like to have ANY comments on this.... :eek: :confused: :eek: it the "duty" of a woman to "keep" her man or any man "interested" and to lose the weight? What do you all think?!? :eek: :confused:

And lastly, if you do not "initiate" sex, and your partner does,but, everytime you do, you never get the chance because he has already what is the point?..........and then your partner decides based on the first part of the letter and the last part.....that he just can't take it anymore,and he tells you that "you just do not "KNOW" how to KEEP a man interested, because that is what you are supposed to do,and I like sex, that I need a thinner woman, and a woman who listens to me and does what I have asked her to do, and KNOWS what to do in bed..etc.....????
WHAT can you tell me then? :eek: :confused:

(This just happened to a very good friend of mine of twenty-something years, I think this person is #$%^%&@#!!!,but, I would dearly love to hear all of your responses too!)He broke up with her on Christmas day!! I think that she thinks that she is a terrible person in bed, and that she wasn't a very great girlfriend...and this whole story really bothers me(and I am only the friend!!!) HELP!!! Nightowl2

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Old 12-31-2003, 06:31 AM   #2
Want 2 B Well
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 542
Want 2 B Well HB User
Re: Keeping a relationship ALIVE!!!!

Very interesting questions.

1)I have not gained weight, my husband has. I would say YES to the weight question. I do want him to lose weight. I will NOT divorce him over this however.

2)Is it the "duty" of a woman to keep her man interested? It is the duty of BOTH to keep each BOTH interested. Believe me after 20yrs, you do have to work at it.

3)If he initiates sex and you do not "join" because he has already started??? I don't understand that. To me this sounds as if she doesn't want to have sex and then says this so she doesn't have to.
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Last edited by Want 2 B Well; 12-31-2003 at 06:34 AM.

Old 12-31-2003, 12:07 PM   #3
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JavaKitti HB User
Re: Keeping a relationship ALIVE!!!!

Hmmm, When my husband & I got married I was thin. A couple of months before our 2nd Anniversary I had surgery. My right ovary & fallopian tube were removed. So for 6 weeks I couldn't excercise, be active or have sex. I gained about 10 lbs. NEVER once did my husband say anything negative about this. I was the one down on myself, and he told me everyday that I was more beautiful than ever....and that I was still sexy. I did lose the weight, but knowing how my hubby was toward me.....was wonderful!!! It sounds like your friends hubby is shallow. With the sex thing, I am always the initiator.....I guess my hubby's lucky cause I have a good sex drive. I agree though, it does sound like she wasn't as interested in sex, and used that as an excuse. When I did pack on those extra pounds I will admit that I didn't feel as sexy as I did after I lost it. Self image can either help or hurt your sex least that's what I believe.

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