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  • Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

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    Old 01-25-2004, 06:49 AM   #1
    Summer Girl
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    Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    (sorry !!! this is a long post !!!)

    This really has been bothering me and I wanted to post this so I can get this off my chest.
    My husband sent me roses to work last week. A co-worker (who is known to be a liar anyway) was the only one to make negative comments about it. It made me feel bad.
    First she started off with that I should of left the guy who delivered the roses a tip and that he was waiting for a tip. She said that the last time I got roses too. But when she got flowers she didn't give the guy a tip. And I even brought that up. She came off saying she did which is a lie because I purposely watched her to see if she would give anything. There was someone else who came in the room and said that you don't give a tip for something that was sent as a gift. And that is why I didn't give a tip anyway because it was a gift already paid for by the sender. (I would of given something if it wasn't a gift)
    Then her husband comes in and they bring up that they could get roses at the gas station for $15.00 and she was saying that she would rather spend the money on gas and food and that roses die anyway. Ofcourse all this time she was laughing. Everyone else said they were beautiful and saying nice things except her.
    Any time anything good happens to me she trys to bring me down. It really made me feel bad.
    (the one time that she got flowers, she was all thrilled over it, but when I get roses, she acts like she would throw them out. )
    She has said other things to me such as that I am getting fat from chrismas, but I am 5'5" and 120 lbs. I would never say that to someone, and she aint' so thin herself and I would never say that to her. She has made comments about my clothes too in the past. But I hear her talk about other people sometimes too so I know I am not the only one. She tells her friend, the receptionist, that she is so busy and is the only one who does work. But yet she has time to make copies of cartoon figures for her daughter to color. That and talking to her sister in florida. I see her on the internet all the time and she will minimize the screen when someone walks by. Friday she went to grab a paper off the printer and I got to grab it first. It was a cartoon figure. She is real busy huh?
    I went to Hawaii on my honymoon, she had very nasty things to say about Hawaii. But yet, a year before, she was saying to the receptionist that she wants to go there. She tried to find out how much the honeymoon was, she tried to find out how much my engagement ring was. Her friend(the receptionist) asked me how much the wedding was! They are always talking and whispering to each other.
    There is so much I wish I could write in this post but I am going to stop here.
    My point in this post is, would you say she is jealous? Things such as this bother me and I know it shouldn't.
    (My boss has told me in the past that she knows what she is like and that she knows she lies)
    If nothing else, thank you for reading this post.

    Last edited by Summer Girl; 01-25-2004 at 11:04 AM.

     
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    Old 01-25-2004, 10:51 AM   #2
    Miss Blue
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    She sounds very jealous and insecure...

     
    Old 01-25-2004, 11:26 AM   #3
    marj
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    Bless your heart! I wouldn't want to work everyday with someone who cannot simply celebrate others' happiness. Yes, she's jealous! She probably would love to be in what she perceives your life is like, but does not have the means or motivation to change her own life for the better. She criticizes you to take you off the imaginary pedastal upon which she's placed you.

    But, more importantly, you need a few tools to stop this party-pooper in her tracks. The first thing is the hardest: Don't get defensive. If you know she will say, "You should tip the delivery person," be prepared to say, "You can tip your delivery person if you like." If she says you're fat, tell her, "I hadn't noticed, but thanks for sharing." If she wants details on your life for slander on another occasion, just smile and say, "Is it really that interesting to you?"

    It's hard not to be bothered by the one spoiled apple in the barrel. But, she may have been bruised by her own devices in the past and is acting offensively as a defensive measure. If it does not cause you too much grief, it might be worth hearing her story outside of the office, if only to feel pity or sympathy for the way she turned out. Once she lets her guard down and talks for awhile, she might feel less inclined to pick on you.

    Take care,

    Marj

     
    Old 01-25-2004, 02:57 PM   #4
    Ruth6:11
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    One thing I've learned for sure is that you cannot change another person. Period.
    You CAN change your reaction to HER tho!!
    Like the other poster suggested, having a few off-hand replies is great. Using humor is the best.
    But saying - "Me receiving flowers really seems to bother you. Would you like to talk about it?" would make ME feel better!

     
    Old 01-26-2004, 03:23 AM   #5
    tropicalfish
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    Yep, I already can't stand this person you're describing. The whole tip thing is fabricated. I mean, does it make ANY SENSE AT ALL that the person receiving the roses would have to tip? The sender should take care of that. Don't let her get to you.. she's sounds irritating and EXTREMELY jealous.

     
    Old 01-27-2004, 03:49 PM   #6
    Mara
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    [QUOTE=Summer Girl

    She sounds like a person who is very jealous and rains on parades. She is one of those people who envies and can't be happy for someone else. It's a flaw. Don't let anyone diminish your joy.

     
    Old 01-28-2004, 11:23 AM   #7
    sweet28
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Summer Girl
    (sorry !!! this is a long post !!!)

    This really has been bothering me and I wanted to post this so I can get this off my chest.
    My husband sent me roses to work last week. A co-worker (who is known to be a liar anyway) was the only one to make negative comments about it. It made me feel bad.
    First she started off with that I should of left the guy who delivered the roses a tip and that he was waiting for a tip. She said that the last time I got roses too. But when she got flowers she didn't give the guy a tip. And I even brought that up. She came off saying she did which is a lie because I purposely watched her to see if she would give anything. There was someone else who came in the room and said that you don't give a tip for something that was sent as a gift. And that is why I didn't give a tip anyway because it was a gift already paid for by the sender. (I would of given something if it wasn't a gift)
    Then her husband comes in and they bring up that they could get roses at the gas station for $15.00 and she was saying that she would rather spend the money on gas and food and that roses die anyway. Ofcourse all this time she was laughing. Everyone else said they were beautiful and saying nice things except her.
    Any time anything good happens to me she trys to bring me down. It really made me feel bad.
    (the one time that she got flowers, she was all thrilled over it, but when I get roses, she acts like she would throw them out. )
    She has said other things to me such as that I am getting fat from chrismas, but I am 5'5" and 120 lbs. I would never say that to someone, and she aint' so thin herself and I would never say that to her. She has made comments about my clothes too in the past. But I hear her talk about other people sometimes too so I know I am not the only one. She tells her friend, the receptionist, that she is so busy and is the only one who does work. But yet she has time to make copies of cartoon figures for her daughter to color. That and talking to her sister in florida. I see her on the internet all the time and she will minimize the screen when someone walks by. Friday she went to grab a paper off the printer and I got to grab it first. It was a cartoon figure. She is real busy huh?
    I went to Hawaii on my honymoon, she had very nasty things to say about Hawaii. But yet, a year before, she was saying to the receptionist that she wants to go there. She tried to find out how much the honeymoon was, she tried to find out how much my engagement ring was. Her friend(the receptionist) asked me how much the wedding was! They are always talking and whispering to each other.
    There is so much I wish I could write in this post but I am going to stop here.
    My point in this post is, would you say she is jealous? Things such as this bother me and I know it shouldn't.
    (My boss has told me in the past that she knows what she is like and that she knows she lies)
    If nothing else, thank you for reading this post.
    she sounds really jealous all I can say is don't get mad just laugh in her face she won't like it

     
    Old 01-28-2004, 01:05 PM   #8
    supertrooper
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    The replies from marj and ruth have some good suggestions on how to confront her insecurities. My wife had another. She had a co-worker who was always trying to find out details about her and others (how much things cost, who the flowers are from, etc). A real busybody and a gossip. Whenever she asked my wife my wife would say "Why, are you writing a book?" That would send her away. One time after trying to find out how much our trip to Disney cost (repeatedly) my wife asked the book question and the woman snidely replied "Ya." My wife came back with "Then kiss my butt and make it a love story." The cafeteria just erupted with laughter. The woman left my wife alone after that, and left the company later because everybody used that line in response to her prying.

     
    Old 01-30-2004, 11:31 AM   #9
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    Ditto on the jealous. There's one in our office, too. Local paper wanted to do an article on a coworker who went above and beyond when their boss died last year and this person told the coworker she should NOT let them do a story on her. Rest of us thought it was great that this person would finally get some recognition for working nights and weekends. Made the reporter so mad she did the article anyway. We all thought it was great -- the jealous one just glares.

    We tend to go the other extreme -- if she makes comments about flowers. We order some for ourselves, pretend they're from spouses. Complains about someone being fat (usually a sign she's self conscious about her own weight gain) We bring treats. This one also always complains that others get personal calls, take too much time off, etc. When SHE'S the one doing all that stuff. If she's going to be snotty, might as well mess with her a bit. We don't get mad. We get even.

     
    Old 01-30-2004, 11:45 AM   #10
    cloverberry
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    Oh boy is she jealous. Don't let her see that you're upset or she'll get what she wants, to see you upset. When people ask you stuff like how much your wedding cost just say it's personal and you're not giving out the information. Don't be fooled when they say something like they're trying to find out for their own wedding. Just keep saying it's personal.

     
    Old 01-30-2004, 11:52 AM   #11
    DottyG
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    Quote:
    if she makes comments about flowers. We order some for ourselves, pretend they're from spouses. Complains about someone being fat (usually a sign she's self conscious about her own weight gain) We bring treats.
    I like these ideas! Harmless. Yet, gets the point across.

     
    Old 01-30-2004, 06:33 PM   #12
    Summer Girl
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    Thank you for your thoughts and advice everyone!

    It was greatly appreciated !

     
    Old 02-02-2004, 03:15 AM   #13
    promisez
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    Re: Co-worker jealous? (Roses at work)

    My ex had one of those at work. I sent her a dozen roses, a box of candy and a book, with the instructions to give the book to the busybody. It was called "Rule 62". It was an inch thick with one line written in the middle of the book. All it said was "Don't take yourself too d*am seriously". Problem solved

     
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