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  • i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

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    Old 02-20-2004, 04:02 PM   #1
    secretblue
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    *edited*hi guys i 've deleted my post...thanks for everyone's support here! i love this board

    Last edited by secretblue; 03-05-2004 at 02:54 AM. Reason: none

     
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    Old 02-20-2004, 04:22 PM   #2
    eightball61
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    Hey,

    I can feel your heart on this one. If you love this new guy a lot please stick with him. Your feelings will go away.

    Right now the other guy has a GF and you cant change that. I am sorry to say but he may not feel the same way about you. If he did you both would still be together today. You shoulden't go look at his current GF website cause it just tears you up.

    This new guy may not be romantic but that is the least of your worries in this relationship. Your main focusTis to love him for who he is. If you been in this relationship for 8 months I am sure you do love him, but let the other guy go. The reason why you still follow his moves is because he was your first true love. Your first love will always be unforgettable know matter who you are.

    Just enjoy this new guy and love him for everythinh and you'll get over it eventually. Yes, in years to come you will think of him but its not a bad thing.

     
    Old 02-20-2004, 04:45 PM   #3
    promisez
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    Simple. Stop comparing. Just see the good points in the new boyfriend and stop comparing them to what you had at one point. You say you made a bad decision breaking up....but be careful, you may be breaking up again if he feels you are reminiscing about the other guy. Everyone has good points, focus on the positives and stop comparing.

     
    Old 02-20-2004, 05:28 PM   #4
    secretblue
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    thanks guys, i know....i will stop looking at his GF's website...damnit..is so hard to forget someone you once really close to you know...i will try to focus on my BF more...thanks for the replies...

     
    Old 02-20-2004, 06:13 PM   #5
    miss_prolixity
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    Hi Secret,

    Just out of curiosity, why did you break-up with your ex boyfriend?

    The reason why I am asking is, I frequent another B.B. and there's many heart broken people there (including me). We're trying to figure out what went wrong in our relationships? Do you think it could be the "grass is greener" effect? Some people are never content in their relationship until it's gone. Then they realize how truly wonderful it was.

    I don't know, I'm just trying to get another perspective, especially since you've stated how awesome this man (your ex) was.

    I do wish you well in your new relationship. I am sure this has been a learning experience for you.

     
    Old 02-20-2004, 06:50 PM   #6
    secretblue
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    hey miss,

    the reason y i broke up with my ex bf was because he was too nice to me?! i know this might sound werid..but i guess, nice guy finishs last ? i was 17 when i started dating this guy...(he was my first bf) then i went to college, he started talking about marriage and things like that, it kinda scared me away...and i wanted to break up, because i came to realize that there are a lot more out there for me to see before i take my relationship into the next level...so i broke up with him for no reason, i just wanted to find out if i really love him, (i don't know what was i thinking) so yah, he was heart broken...it took us awhile until we really actually "break up."

    i had to be soo mean to him to scare him away...finally he left, i started to date other guys, then, later found out, there are NO one out there that can take his place......(i can't stand being w/ anyone else but him) when i realized that i really loved him and missed him, he already have a new gf... it has been 3 yrs since we broke up, now i'm 22, dating this guy for 8 months and still thinking about my ex.....

    Last edited by secretblue; 02-20-2004 at 06:56 PM.

     
    Old 02-20-2004, 07:22 PM   #7
    sherrie
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    Have you ever contacted him since you broke up? If it is bothering you this much, I don't see the harm in calling him or emailing him just exactly what you feel for him and see what he has to say. He may take you back, you never know, or he might not.. but if he does not- then at least you will have to, if anything force yourself to move on which will allow you to truely be with your new guy or someone else if the new guy isn't working for you. Just a thought.

     
    Old 02-22-2004, 12:31 AM   #8
    Ninispjc
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by secretblue
    hey miss,

    the reason y i broke up with my ex bf was because he was too nice to me?! i know this might sound werid..but i guess, nice guy finishs last ? i was 17 when i started dating this guy...(he was my first bf) then i went to college, he started talking about marriage and things like that, it kinda scared me away...and i wanted to break up, because i came to realize that there are a lot more out there for me to see before i take my relationship into the next level...so i broke up with him for no reason, i just wanted to find out if i really love him, (i don't know what was i thinking) so yah, he was heart broken...it took us awhile until we really actually "break up."

    i had to be soo mean to him to scare him away...finally he left, i started to date other guys, then, later found out, there are NO one out there that can take his place......(i can't stand being w/ anyone else but him) when i realized that i really loved him and missed him, he already have a new gf... it has been 3 yrs since we broke up, now i'm 22, dating this guy for 8 months and still thinking about my ex.....

    I agree with Sherrie. Your ex has a girlfriend, not a wife. Before she becomes a wife, contact him just to satisfy yourself that it is in fact totally over, at least on his side. And you never know, a miracle could happen and he could be missing you as much as you're missing him, but at least you'll know for sure and you won't have to deal with "what if" 10 years from now. And if you're still thinking about your ex with this new guy after 8 months, I think that's a pretty clear indication that this new guy isn't the guy for you. As hard as it is, you may have to face the fact that your search isn't over. I think when you find the right guy, he''ll be the guy that will make you forget all about your ex.

     
    Old 02-22-2004, 12:43 AM   #9
    crazygirl
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by secretblue
    i've been with my current bf for 8 months now...but for some reason, i think about my ex bf of (2-1/2 yrs) every single day still. everyday, i will go online and look at him and his new gf's website and just get sad and jealous of them being happily together...i get so depressed when i see their pictures together online. i don't know what's my problem, but i know that i shouldn't be acting like this, but i seriously couldn't help it. i missed my ex bf so much and i always wonder how it would be like if we are still together today and if i've never broken up with him (yes, i broke up w/ him) and NOW, i regert it...!! ....., my ex bf loved me a lot, he said that i was the one for him, but i was young, didn't want to settle down yet, so I wanted to experience life, now that i experienced enough, and i found out at the end, i love my first BF the most...!!my current bf doesn't treat me as good as my ex bf...he loves me, but he isn't romantic at all....i tried sooo hard to forget my past and move on with this new guy that i am with right now. but i just CAN'T!! i need some help people!! i want to move on, but my brain just not working with me. i think too much about my ex BF...i missed him too much that i cried myself at night while sleeping with my current BF..this is so wrong..but what can i do?! i dont' want to be bitter about this, but i think too much about how good my ex bf treated me in the past, and i don't think i can ever find someone like him again. i just want to know if anyone has been in my shoe and expericence what i'm expericencing right now? is it normal to think about ex's?? please let me know, what i can do to move the heck on...i know this might sounds crazy, but i starting to think i'm stalking my ex and his girl right now....
    Hi secretblue
    I have/had kinda the same problem... i have a b/f right now that going to be marrying... but i think of my ex all the freaking time...we are still freinds and that kinda hurts to be friends with him... cause i let a good thing go...i'm engaged and he has a new girlfreind...I tell everyone i'm totaly over him... but deep down i dont think i am. anyways it takes time thats all i can say.. aventaually you'll get over it...... i talk about my ex in front of my furture husband...and although he feels a little uneasy about it. he listens... to me. and that helps to get it all out. maybe you can do the same? anyways i dunno if i helped at all but i hope you get though this and i hope it doesnt affect you furture relationships. good luck

     
    Old 02-23-2004, 04:30 AM   #10
    magee
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    You aren't ready for a boyfriend if you're still obsessed with your ex. Think about it this way: if you were going out with someone, and you found out he was thinking about his ex g/f every day, would you want to be with him still?

     
    Old 02-23-2004, 10:51 AM   #11
    secretblue
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    thanks for everyone's replies...yeah, i've contacted him a year ago about how i feel..he wanted me back as well, but his gf was crazy over him, and wouldn't let him talk to me ever! he told me to wait for him to break up with her, but at the end he just told me to move on...which that's what i'm doing right now...and still thinking about him...i know this is not fair for my current bf, i too feel that's very wrong, but i really can't help it, that's why i came to this board for help...which it DID help me alot!! from now on, i'll focus on my BF more..thanks guys!

     
    Old 02-23-2004, 12:31 PM   #12
    Ninispjc
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    I think if you want to focus more on your boyfriend, that's great if that's where your heart is. Sometimes we don't know what we've got till it's gone, which is what you may be experiencing with your ex, and who knows, if you lost the guy you're with now, you may miss him the same way, so focusing on what you have now could be a good thing. But there's also something to be said for continuing the search till you find the one that makes you forget about your ex. My ex boyfriend used to wear a gold bracelet he got from his ex girl, Lydia. He wore it all the time, never took it off. It broke once and he got terribly upset. The only time I ever saw him get teary was when he was talking about her. When he found out she had gotten married, he fell into this strange, mysterious depression for three days. He eventually left me. Now that he's married to the love of his life, he no longer wears Lydia's bracelet, and I'm willing to bet a year's pay he no longer gives Lydia, or me, a second thought. I think when you find the right one, you don't wish to be anywhere but where you are, and you don't wish to be with anyone else. It's not something that should have to be forced. But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

     
    Old 02-23-2004, 01:10 PM   #13
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    Re: i'm with my bf, but think about my ex 24/7 (please help!)

    Ive been in the same boat too with my ex. He was also my first, and I do think about him sometimes even though Im dating someone else. You said that you have been dating this guy for 8 months now...are you dating him for the sake of it??? Have you ever tried talking to your current boyfriend about your ex? I did and i felt alot better, (and closer to my bf). Another thing,...you really got to stop comparing your current boyfriend with your ex. Each man you date will not be the same as the last one.
    There are some people out there who cannot get over their old love until they find new love.

     
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