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    Old 03-05-2004, 05:32 AM   #1
    help4u
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    Question question for married only

    I would like to know.. if you had the chance to live your life again, would you get married?

     
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    Old 03-05-2004, 06:50 AM   #2
    GirlHarley
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    Re: question for married only

    HI - Even though I'm not "married" now I was married for 5 years and have been divorced for 14 years...
    For many years I wanted to remarry, I thought I would have been married soon after my divorce...but life didn't work out that way for me. I finally decided it wasn't going to happen to me and I was OK with that. I was dating, had relationships and lets say...I let the "good" ones go and kept the bad ones stay longer in my life then I should have. When I finally gave up on thinking about marriage and started living for myself and enjoying my single like I was very happy and content, it was my surroundings that didn't understand why I was single...IE: family & friends...It was everyone around me asking me why I wasn't married or involved with someone..People are funny,,,because if your not involved with someone they think something is wrong with you. They thought I was lying that I was secure with myself and happy with my life as it was...I was not rich or poor, making ends meet, raising my son, lots of friends with a good soical life..Sure, I had lonely nites
    but I didn't sit around and feel sorry for myself I did thinks, I hung with friends on some weekends and hung with my son and nieces on others doing things that I probably wouldn't have done if I was in a relationship.

    5 Years ago I met the man of my dreams. I have been engaged for 3 years with no wedding plans. (we do own a home together) Maybe someday I will get married again but I'm in no hurry. Being Single is not as bad as some think it is...neither is being married..I think it's all about attitude and what you choose to do with Your life and what I mean about that is make it your life not what others think it should be..

     
    Old 03-05-2004, 06:59 AM   #3
    Gatormom
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    Re: question for married only

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by help4u
    I would like to know.. if you had the chance to live your life again, would you get married?
    Yes, yes, a thousand times yes... I married my husband at age 19, and will celebrate 34 years this spring. We have had plenty of normal ups and downs, but never doubted our commitment to each other, raised 2 kids, now have 4 grandkids, and love life more than ever. In my opinion, there is just no substitute for "that piece of paper," the official commitment of marriage, being joined in front of God, family and friends... for better or worse! And there is no comfort like going into our later years with the 100% support and love of one another... corny but true. Marriage to me means there is always, always, never a doubt in my mind, my best friend at my side.
    Good luck with whatever life decisions you may be making!

     
    Old 03-05-2004, 07:10 AM   #4
    Blastoff9600
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    Re: question for married only

    Yes I would get married again and to be honest I wouldnt change a thing. We married after 6 months of knowing each other and paid for it ourselves.
    __________________
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    Old 03-05-2004, 07:14 AM   #5
    Gatormom
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    Re: question for married only

    BLASTOFF - - I am an AF wife too!!!! Hubby still serving, stationed in Brussels. Aim high!!

     
    Old 03-05-2004, 07:27 AM   #6
    newlywedgurl
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    Re: question for married only

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by help4u
    I would like to know.. if you had the chance to live your life again, would you get married?
    I agree with GirlHarley on this. I am an extremely independant woman who does not *need* a man to take care of her financially or otherwise. I met a wonderful man last summer, who I actually kept blowing off b/c he is younger than me. Of course, I have dealt with plenty of older men that were children, one that was 14 YEARS (yes, years) my senior. Eventually, he won me over and we were engaged a whopping month later. We married in December. I must admit that it was a bit rocky at first...went from never having a disagreement to arguing a lot. But most of that is due to his job--the winter is their busy season.......

    Would I get married again? Well, all I can say is so far, so good. But I would never recommend that anyone get married if they have that little voice in the back of their heads.....yes, you know the one. "I don't think this is going to work out, but I HOPE it does." "Maybe if I can be what he wants, he'll marry me." "Maybe things will change."

    I always used to think that a marriage license was a "piece of paper" as well...but there really is a difference in committment level emotionally and mentally. THis is both a blessing and a curse. You can have the security of knowing that someone cannot just walk out (at least as easily) and you are more willing to work on issues. On the flip side....people get comfortable and figure that "Well, I'm married now....don't have to try as hard, whatever." It is up to the two of them to decide what they want their relationship to be defined as.

    As for me, I married my very best friend in the whole world. I am his biggest fan and supporter....and he is the same for me. We look out for each other, take care of each other, stick up for each other, and love each other...very much. I would not have it any other way. Guess I could have just said that to begin with, huh?

     
    Old 03-05-2004, 09:16 AM   #7
    SweetTemptation
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    Re: question for married only

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Gatormom
    BLASTOFF - - I am an AF wife too!!!! Hubby still serving, stationed in Brussels. Aim high!!
    Just caught my attention because I live in Brussels.

     
    Old 03-05-2004, 07:48 PM   #8
    Jenetti
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    Re: question for married only

    Yup, married my hubby on his 18th birthday. I had just turned 19 so i was the "older woman taking advantage of a younger guy". LOL This coming November we will be married 31 yrs and i wouldnt trade him for anyone else.

    I have fibromyalgia plus other health problems and he has been my number one supporter thru all this. He is the sweetest husband. We have one son who will be 28 yrs old this Oct. DUe to my hubbys job ive had to spend (well had to , not anymore) alot of time alone, even up to 6 weeks to 3 months alone at times in the past . HE got me a computer, to keep me busy. A new car so i wouldnt have to worry about getting stuck somewhere and friends who would call on me to check on me. He would call me everyday.
    When we were living in houston, i had to have a total hysterctomy, but i had surgery with a doctor i had known for a long time where ihad lived which was my moms town doctor. It was 4 hours away. My hubby would go to work, after work, drive 4 hours to come see me, spend two hours with me at the hospital, turn around, drive 4 hours back home, sleep maybe 2 hours , get up and go to work again. He did this for two weeks straight. Now THATS LOVE!!!
    Oh yea, id marry him again, in a heartbeat. Hes the love of my life.
    Jen

     
    Old 03-05-2004, 09:00 PM   #9
    Missylynn
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    Re: question for married only

    Yes I would and I would marry the same person although I would be a bit more mature going into it. Marriage is a wonderful thing.

     
    Old 03-05-2004, 09:38 PM   #10
    injured betty
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    Re: question for married only

    First marraige, married the high school jock. I divorced him and swore off marraige. Told everyone that I thought that men were pond scum.

    Second marraige, fifteen years later, wouldn't change a thing, man of my dreams.

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 08:05 AM   #11
    Ruth6:11
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    Re: question for married only

    I left home at age 19 and didn't get married until I was 35. I've been married for almost 15 years now so I can truly compare living single and living married.

    For me, marriage to the right man (I thought many of the boyfriends were - but they weren't) has been just about the best thing that has happened to me in life.
    Same guy & same experiences as single?? You bet I'd do it again!!!!!

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 08:32 AM   #12
    promisez
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    Re: question for married only

    Only if she is on less then 3 medications and none for depression, I was a mental punching bag long enough. Then again, some lady will come along someday, smile at me, my heart will melt and I wouldn't care about physical or mental limitations anyway so lets just wait and see and set no barriers

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 11:38 AM   #13
    Jennak
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    Re: question for married only

    I was married to a man who was married to his work...but I don't regret the experience. We had some very good years. A combination of infertility and the work taking priority, brought us to an impasse. He is still single, we occassionally talk. In the end, it was a blessing that kids were never involved.

    jenna

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 06:20 PM   #14
    Missylynn
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    Re: question for married only

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by promisez
    . Then again, some lady will come along someday, smile at me, my heart will melt and I wouldn't care about physical or mental limitations anyway so lets just wait and see and set no barriers
    This was definitely true with my husband. He loves me limitations and all.

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 07:04 PM   #15
    Ally073
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    Re: question for married only

    It is a really tricky question because if you are happy in your marriage you will naturally say yes. If I had my time again, I would not spend the money I did on a wedding but I definately would marry again. I was a very rebellious, non-committal person before meeting my husband. I never had a longterm relationship because I was always looking for fun and I got bored quickly. Then I met my husband who tolerated my wild ways and (luckily) asked me to marry him early on in our relationship. Sounded like fun and it was the best move I ever made. He must have been right for me because I have never looked back wondering what would have happened if I hadnt married (although I could only imagine....shudder...) Being married makes you work through your problems rather than pack your bags and go. There is more of a reason to make your relationship work. I think quite possibly my husband and I would have gone our separate ways early on had we not married simply because it would have been easier not to confront our problems. 13 years on I am still having a good time with the bonus of a loving man and two little rugrats who will always love me - what could be better than that? BUT! - I am happy, anyone who is not happy should not be stuck in a marriage they dont want to be in!!

     
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