Man Vs. Woman or Woman Vs. Man

annebash

lol Jeff. You confused me a bit, but I have to say, the only thing that works for me when someone is leaving (whether or not they eventually decide to stay) is to focus on the things that I have done. I cant control how someone else responds to me. but I CAN control how I react, which can change everthing completely. If you spend all your time focusing on what other people are doing to you, you are missing the whole point, which is that you can only control the things that YOU do! And often what people do back is a reaction to that. Sort of like when people say you can DEMAND respect by your actions, and you ability to respect yourself. So I guess that kind of eliminates the whole male/female blaming game. Focus on yourself. The rest will usually fall into place.

eightball61

Key Word Focus

Focus-To direct toward a particular point or purpose

Focus comes into play on these questions going offgard into a sexist match. Of course in my postion I have no way to compete or defend being the only few males in this thread.

GirlHarley

Annebash's post was very good and I want to add something a little different to add some humor? WELL I HOPE IT Comes across this way

Other factors cause a breakup in a relatinship, not just a cheating spouse.
I lousy couch potatoe, a guy who won't work, a woman who just likes to nag, and the list can go on.....

As far as the Bashing goes...For "some" because they are in denial of themselves they will place blame on others for their own Unhappiness and that is where the bashing starts. They don't know how to look in the mirror at their own mistakes just at others...And the Bashing Begins, the misunderstanding each other...

Of course we woman have this habit of Trying to Understand Men and
Men think or try to understand women...It an't going to happen.
We are different...some get a thrill out of male bashing to cover their own angry, and dito for men...

Men love using the PMS on woman when they are having a bad day.
When in fact...Woman DO PMS, so why can't men just Deal With IT!
instead of always nagging about it? We have, get over it...

Woman love using the They Don't Understand method about men, well how
can Men understand women? We are Wondeful Creatures and can do anything...Work, Cook, Clean, Cry, Shop, and produce Babies...
I don't care if men don't understand me, just accept me as I am.
And ME...I don't try to understand men either...I can accept them as well.
It's what I want in my life that matters...

Boys will be Boys and girls will be girls...The conflicts will always be there and the bashing begins...
That's my input..

Bigbay

Good point GirlHarley, But I think when one does don't accept a person for who they and they try to make them as they want is where it all goes wrong. I think that is where the person think that they did all right and no wrong in a relationship. Then whoever it is gets mad and bash. It is like the first post said, that they alway want to see that they never done wrong and maybe trying to change that person was the wrong thing to do.

eightball61

Thats the best thing said...We are all different

In the world we are all different by acting different, looking different, and just being a different person. Yes, conflicts will arise but where does bashing come in? Is it to make one fell better about their low standard? Just the sake for conversation ? or just because..

Thats a partial reason why for so much hate in this world. We all see that we are different but we can't accept another human to be so different emotionally, physiacally, or mentally. no good thing come out of hate or bash it just make others sway into the dislikining.

GirlHarley

YES..I agree to with your post...How to accept each other? umm..
that's the thing....and I admit, I was once a Male basher.....I still go on my little tantrums, I love going out to drinks with my girlfriends and we get on our high horse about men...But it's all in fun for us...I'm not out to hurt anyone....I don't take myself serious anymore nor do I hate men....

Jeff brought up a good post, I look forward to the responses to see if I'm doing wrong by male bashing? But, at the same token....Men who hate woman love nothing better then to Woman Bash for their own inscuries or what their issues are...
Awhhh, such as life, if we could only accept one another, love each other, well, we wouldn't have this board..and then I would have to clean my house.

excaliburgrl

i have to comment on the people never taking responsibility for a breakup thing...

i do take responsibility for my last ex...some would say the break up was all his fault cause he was a druggie and very emotionally abusive...but the thing is, i was weak and i let him do it...i think i shoulda stood up to him...so i do take part of the blame...if that makes ya feel any better

eightball61

To be honest and I am sure you have seen but it doesn't bother me all to much but at times it get to the fact the post go beyond the main topic and how does that help the other person out?

A good example would me the age question....Very good responses but got off topic and Madskillz did do a good thing by creating a few post to seperate these topics.

I have to laugh... we all have sinned when it comes time to being the one caught at the bashing. I do my share and you have done yours(not in bad ways). I don't take it into heart but someone else who doesn't know our humor may?

eightball61

Its ok Exsaliburgrl~ for most of mine I take blame also.

excaliburgrl

oh and as for the male bashing...i do do it at times, but never where a male can hear it...in fact, i was talking to a friend today about lance and she told me that her fiance has done similar acts...and i replied with "men"....lol...and i believe she replied with something like Men+computer=evil tendecies...

but i don't do it to hurt anybody and i do know when to stop...i mainly do it joking around...

Joseph Orion

Jeff, it all boils down to this...

Men will never understand women because they aren't women.

Women will never understand men because they aren't men.

Now both sexes will probably disagree but it's the plain and simple truth. Just when you think you've got the opposite sex figured out, you get thrown a curveball. And when something happens with the opposite sex, bashing them is the easiest thing to do without actually getting into it, you know? My ex turned on me when we broke up and went from being a sweet girl to a mean b**** who didn't want anything to do with me. The first thing that jumped into my head was "I HATE women!" but then I realized that it wasn't women, it was just her. I think it's easy to generalize when something is not going well for us, men or women.

Although I have known a lot of women, are friends with a ton of females and dated many many girls. I can say that I still know absolutely NOTHING about them lol. Every one is a different. That's why the "blame it on the women" argument just doesn't exist with me. Each person is different, therefore grouping everyone into a single catagory based on their sex is a little silly.

At least that's MY take on it all

Weeping Willow

I guess because we have all been scorned at one time or another. Sorry to say but when a man messes me over I tend to generalize for awhile and lump them all into the "DOG FACED LOSER" catagory. It's nothing personal but when we hear of someone going through something that we have it brings back memories and hits a nerve.

eightball61

Hey Joe,

Glad to hear a males insight and good one also(girls you have Great insight also). This is what I was trying to get across yes we are all different and we will never ecept that...Now the question is why? Why can't we except that we are different and excape it by using harsh words to make the other one feel better?

Its like a swear word(you know them all...lol) they are just words but why are they meant in such horrible meaning. When basjing on someone why do it in horrible meaning?

There is some good out there...how can we find it? Do you think it can be found in that other person?

excaliburgrl

i don't think people will ever fully understand that we are different...in body and mind...there are so many differences between the brains....