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Old 05-20-2004, 07:09 PM   #16
Join Date: Dec 2003
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I don't know how to......

i can understand her stress lately but I can't explain the last 2 months. This is the time where you need to be communicating on eachothers needs rather than wants. You are at the point now where you are double thinking this relationship.

Yes, relationships are hard but things can be solved through communication. I do agree with the above post to be gentle and tend to her needs but she has been like this for the past 2 months. What more can you do?

Give it more time like another month and see what happens. If it continues being a battle then try a seperation. If she doesn't want to even wear your ring then that may be a sign where she may want some time off. communicate and see what she wants.

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Old 05-21-2004, 07:08 AM   #17
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: I don't know how to......

yep, i agree with all the other cannot tell a women she looks bad even joking hubby made that mistake once when i was sick and i bawled him out...something along the lines of "if you expect me to look good when i have a fever and can't walk straight, then get a sponge and clean me yourself"

but mine makes it a habit of telling me i'm pretty all the time...i wish he would go in depth sometimes tell me i look pretty how i did my hair or how my shirt looks on me...and this is a guy that tells me i look pretty when i just wake up in the morning...

but yeah, you need to be more sensitive to her...especially right now...
'to really live you must nearly die'-received from a vietnam vet

Old 05-21-2004, 09:29 AM   #18
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tara_may HB User
Thumbs down Re: I don't know how to......

its kind of surprising to me that u'd actually tell ur fiancee that she looks like **** when u seem to be well aware of the fact that she can get extremely sensitive.
maybe u are the sort of a person who wouldnt get bothered by this sort of a remark (there might be other women who wouldnt as well) but from ur post it seems that u know quite a bit about ur fiancee so its kind of shocking that u'd actually make such a HUGE mistake to be honest.
before u say anything to her try putting urself in her position and THINK before u comment on anything or do anything that might hurt her.
remember that she's really going through a lot of hard time.
she doesnt need criticism at this very moment, but love and understanding.
if u do care for her try to change some of ur ways.
make her feel that u love her and would do anything for her.
compliment her (do not criticise the way she looks- this is just bad manners)...
instead try to make her feel that she's beautiful.

Old 05-21-2004, 02:13 PM   #19
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: new york city
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junalo HB User
Re: I don't know how to......

oh women! lol I appreaciate all you guys comments and they are all true, the problem is me and my maturity, I need to grow up and act like a man, this is where all our problems stem from, I am following your advice and the arguments have diminished and being more compassionate and sensitive towards her and it's getting better all we need is some time. Thank you guys!

Old 05-21-2004, 06:41 PM   #20
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Magnetic HB UserMagnetic HB User
Re: I don't know how to......

I will take a different view here. Had she been all sweet and nice right up until the illness of a family member, I might tend to agree and advise you to be extra nice and beg forgiveness of some minor blunders. However, you say this has been going on for a while and she even took off her ring! To me, she seems like either a control freak or one who is looking to dominate the relationship, or she is confused about her love for you and would just as soon you leave.

Unless you like fights and having her dictate to you every aspect of your life, then it is time to end this relationship. If she is like this BEFORE marriage, she will be even worse afterwords. I have seen it and it is not pretty. Give a careful look at this relationship ..... is this what you want?

Old 05-22-2004, 05:02 AM   #21
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realguy HB User
Re: I don't know how to......

She's Only Going To Respond To Your Negative Comments By Pulling Away From You.if Your Parent Was Sick And You Were Stressed Over It, Would You Like It If She Insulted You On Top Of Everything Else?
This Is Your Chance To Show Your Marriage Material,and Don't Push The Sex Now.she'll Let You Know When.

Old 05-22-2004, 07:33 AM   #22
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I don't know how to......

Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
yep, i agree with all the other cannot tell a women she looks bad even joking hubby made that mistake once when i was sick and i bawled him out.. now...

I think most guys have made this mistake once but was is it ok for a girl to truthfully tell a guy if they look good or bad. This has only happen to me a few times and I brush it off but if I told them that they look bad then forget that date she doesn't want to be around you.

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