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lOST between my boyfriend and best friend!

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Old 05-22-2004, 12:21 AM   #1
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Mayoya HB User
She may steal him from me!

I feel like I am losing my boyfriend to my bestfriend.

We went out one month after we started dating to introduce them to each other, and I felt really left out as they got really absorbed with their converstaion together. We have been together for 9 mons now and i didn't take her out with us but this one time as I don't want what happened to be repeated again.

My best friend is an attention freak! she would do anything to be under the spotlights. she is flirtatious by nature and she gets this bitchy side out even in the presence of my boyfriend. She has a boyfriend yet that doesn't stop her from flirting around as it gives her a kind of enjoyment to feel her feminity.

I have known her for three years, and she never took me out to meet her boyfriend to get to know him like I did with mine. I just saw him three times with her but for a short time and it wasn't for the sake of getting us to know each other. The thing about her is that she doesn't like anyone to get into her social circle, maybe it's due to the fact that she doesn't want anyone to steal the attention away from her.

So now I wonder why should I care about getting her to know my boyfriend when she doesn't care about doing this on her side?

What gets me crazy is that I feel like inside her she thinks she can get him if she wants and if she works it for it. So the fact that I am with him is just because she's doing me a favor. I feel like I wanna prove her wrong by taking her out with us once and show her that he still wants me not her, but then again what if I am proved wrong?!
I think about this all the time and it gets me crazy. For guys, this idea of a "girl out of reach" is so appealing that it gets the guy thinking about the girl all the time. So I don't want this to happen in the case of my best friend. But again I don't want to go out with him and her again, and see what happened before repeating again, and I don't think I d be able to handle the consequences in case they feel that there is a spark between them or something.
Me and my best friend relation is good as far as we are concered... havin someone who's there and who's understaning....but neither me or her wants the other to get into the other's socail circle...even if it's never said bluntly.

Maybe I have low-self esteem too. I am trying to work on this too. But in the meantime, should I keep him away from her, and limit our relationship? Should i go out with both of them again and be strong enough to handle whatever is to come...? or should i maybe get someone else going out with us so that she wouldn't be in the center of attention, and i wouldn't be jealous again? (by the way she always try to escape any suggestion of going on a double date, me and my bf, her and her bf of 8 years. )


Last edited by Mayoya; 05-22-2004 at 02:28 AM. Reason: to make the problem clearer

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Old 05-22-2004, 05:00 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Florida
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Magnetic HB UserMagnetic HB User
Re: lOST between my boyfriend and best friend!

Either double date or go alone with him. Three is a crowd, you know.

Old 05-22-2004, 05:08 PM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 98
somuchbetter HB User
Re: lOST between my boyfriend and best friend!

yeah i say keep ur best friend and bf seperate, like spend the day with her, than the night with him. even it out.

Old 05-22-2004, 10:55 PM   #4
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 97
dentalnitemare HB User
Re: lOST between my boyfriend and best friend!

if you wonder if she could take him from you she's not a friend and maybe you don't need him either.

Old 05-23-2004, 01:43 AM   #5
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Sydney, Australia
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ace_chick01 HB User
Re: lOST between my boyfriend and best friend!

Don't let them get together. It happened to me, and it was one of the worst things I went through. If your friend was a true friend, she would put you first. Keep them seperate and let them know how you feel.

Old 05-23-2004, 04:50 AM   #6
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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realguy HB User
Re: lOST between my boyfriend and best friend!

How do these women get to be "best friend" status in the first place.What happiness does she bring to your life?

Old 05-23-2004, 12:26 PM   #7
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: pa
Posts: 260
always HB User
Re: lOST between my boyfriend and best friend!

try to keep them seperate...

maybe talk about it with your boyfriend?... and depending on how you feel and how he responds... take it up with your "best friend" as well... My boyfriend will talk to other girls, and sometimes, it is the whole... "he's mine back off" thing, but i would discuss it with him... my b/f and i ahve been together over a year, and trust me... talk about it...
may be worth sort of... "ditching" your "best" friend if things don't clear up...
good luck...
"just imagine what bach would have done with a synthesizer
"the thing with music: never be afraid to fail, always try, never give up..." Mr. Tourre

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