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  • Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

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    Old 06-25-2004, 02:11 PM   #1
    toobig
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    Post Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    Can anyone help? Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter but letting him know that we can talk about it furthur? I don't want to hurt him, I do love him, but I feel like I'm just settling in some situations. I don't like the person I've become. How do I do this without hurting him so badly? Please help..

    Last edited by toobig; 06-25-2004 at 02:12 PM.

     
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    Old 06-25-2004, 02:32 PM   #2
    maypath
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    hi, can you be more specific about your situation? why would you want to write a letter instead of telling him in the person if you guys live together anyways? if things doesn't work out between the two of you, or if you feel things will get better by you moving out, i say there is no need to write him a letter. i would much rather tell him in person since i live w/ him anyways, but again, that's me. you might have your reason, because you are afraid seeing him gets hurt by telling him in his face. but how would you feel if your bf write you a letter vs. talking things out in person? if anything, i would want my bf to talk to me in person...let us know why you are doing this and maybe we can help you...

     
    Old 06-25-2004, 09:01 PM   #3
    eightball61
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    It would be nice to know more but it is very inappropiate to use a letter. That is just showing that you are to immature to show your true feelings. Let him know about your decision and why. It will be scarey but it the best way.

     
    Old 06-26-2004, 07:25 AM   #4
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    I think it is a great idea to write a letter, as long, as you said, you leave it for open discussion later. You can write down all your thoughts without being interrupted or go off on something else---He can keep the letter and read it over and over in order to understand what you feel. I'd do a letter too.

     
    Old 06-26-2004, 07:28 AM   #5
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by eightball61
    It would be nice to know more but it is very inappropiate to use a letter. That is just showing that you are to immature to show your true feelings. Let him know about your decision and why. It will be scarey but it the best way.
    I don't think it is immature to write a letter. In fact, I think a letter is way to express oneself the best. If she talks to him and he interupts her and says, "no, please blah blah blah" she may never get a chance to say everything she needs to say. With a letter she can get it ALL out. Im sure she would let him know about her decision and why in the letter. After he reads the letter than they can discuss it further. Theres nothing immature about writing a letter to break the ice here.

     
    Old 06-26-2004, 11:35 PM   #6
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    I had an ex break up with me over the phone (we lived together) I thought it was pretty chicken ****** of her. If you can't look the guy in the eye and tell him you do not love him anymore, that is just wrong. I can forgive my ex for not wanting to be with me/love me anymore. But I still hold resentment,that she was too scared to tell me in person. (and by scared, I mean afraid to see me hurt) NOT physically scared, of me going off. (We were a calm loving couple) it just didn't work out.
    Anyway, I later found out, that she left me for another guy, and she was too ashamed to face me about it. That was the chicken ****** part.

     
    Old 06-28-2004, 05:49 AM   #7
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    Don't write a letter....one of my ex's dumped me over the phone and we lived 2 blocks away from each other and I thought it was the most cowardice low thing a person can do to another. I literally called him a coward and when he still wanted to be friends I shoved it back in his face and told him I wouldn't treat my worst enemy that way and believed in honesty first. If I have a problem with someone I tell them so - to their face.

    You make me curious as to why you would want to write a letter. My first impression is that you either a) have something to hide or b) do not have enough guts or dignity to do the right thing and be honest to his face.

    If he lives with you chances are that he shares in some of the domestic expenses. Do you really think he deserves a "Dear John" letter if he's vesting himself into your relationship as well as his wallet into the bills?

    Be the bigger person and do the right thing. If you don't, it could always come back to haunt you and he will always have a reason to rub it in your face that you couldn't be honest to his face from the get-go.
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    Old 06-28-2004, 07:14 AM   #8
    eightball61
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by elatedgiraffe
    I don't think it is immature to write a letter. In fact, I think a letter is way to express oneself the best. If she talks to him and he interupts her and says, "no, please blah blah blah" she may never get a chance to say everything she needs to say. With a letter she can get it ALL out. Im sure she would let him know about her decision and why in the letter. After he reads the letter than they can discuss it further. Theres nothing immature about writing a letter to break the ice here.

    I don't know much on how you do things in a relationship but righting a letter just sets up showing she is to immature to have an adult conversations. Letters are great if you can't get the point across.

     
    Old 06-29-2004, 07:02 AM   #9
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by eightball61
    I don't know much on how you do things in a relationship but righting a letter just sets up showing she is to immature to have an adult conversations. Letters are great if you can't get the point across.
    Well, thats your opinion. And no, you don't know how I do things in a relationship.

     
    Old 06-29-2004, 07:36 AM   #10
    eightball61
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by elatedgiraffe
    Well, thats your opinion. And no, you don't know how I do things in a relationship.

    Please don't take it offensive because thats not what I aimed it as. We all have different styles on handling problems in a relationship.

     
    Old 06-29-2004, 07:54 AM   #11
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    I would say it's better to do it in person, especially that it's a serious relationship. If you decide to write a letter, give it to him in person, and be there when he reads it. Tell him you want to talk after he reads it.

     
    Old 06-29-2004, 09:47 AM   #12
    Ruth6:11
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    I can think of ONE reason that she should do it in a letter.

    If her boyfriend is abusive in anyway, or has anger management issues.

    It's not safe to tell a man like that that you want out.

     
    Old 06-29-2004, 10:00 AM   #13
    eightball61
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    Re: Is it wrong to ask your boyfriend to move out using a letter?

    In that case it would be very understandable Ruth

     
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