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My marriage is over. Now what?

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Old 09-12-2004, 11:52 AM   #1
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Kattie43 HB User
My marriage is over. Now what?

We haven't talked divorce yet but I'm pretty certain that's where we're heading without getting into too much detail.

What are the first steps we need to take to go this amicably as possible?

We have two sons, a senior and a freshman. We have been together 20 years and have a lot of "community" things.

Is there a website or a number I could call or go to to find out what to do?


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Old 09-12-2004, 02:10 PM   #2
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: My marriage is over. Now what?

To be honest the first thing you need is a lawyer. And no matter how friendly the divorce is it's wise to each have your own....

Old 09-12-2004, 02:39 PM   #3
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Easton, Pa
Posts: 730
promisez HB User
Re: My marriage is over. Now what?

Pretty certain is a lot like "almost pregnant". Since you are the one talking about a possible divorce, you may want to inform the husband since you haven't talked about it with him yet?

Old 09-13-2004, 06:31 AM   #4
Join Date: Dec 2003
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eightball61 HB User
Re: My marriage is over. Now what?

The first step is to get a lawyer.....Like ruth said

Old 09-13-2004, 07:34 AM   #5
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: cincinnati Ohio USA
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maak823 HB User
Re: My marriage is over. Now what?

First I would suggest mediation as the first step. If you are both amicable a mediator can help you to come to a solution that will fit your needs. Lawyers can make it uglier than need be- with mediation and 1 attorney- you can pretty much write up your own agreement and pay one attorney to file it for you with the court system.

There are many web sites- but we are not allowed to list them here. Check with your local county- they will be able to refer you. FYI- in most cases where children are involved- they will order you to mediation first anyway.

Sorry to hear about your situation- maybe it will work out, have you tried counseling?

Old 09-13-2004, 07:49 AM   #6
Join Date: Dec 2003
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eightball61 HB User
Re: My marriage is over. Now what?

Lawyers can be ugly but I think the biggest fight is over splitting everything and who will get the children. My sis was lucky on her divorce because it never made it to court. The lawyers were able to seperate everything and make both parties happy with the outcome. She just wanted out of the marriage but got what she wanted at the same time. It may not happen all the time but is you want to go on without a fight or using more money just fight over what important to you like the kinds and then you can rebuild from there.

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