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  • Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

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    Old 09-20-2004, 01:34 PM   #16
    heartlandguy
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Is he willing to tell us his side of the story?

     
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    Old 09-20-2004, 01:38 PM   #17
    eightball61
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Is he willing to tell us his side of the story?


    Please....please

     
    Old 09-20-2004, 01:44 PM   #18
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    You guys are some team.....and it would be great if you could get him to chat...stay tuned

     
    Old 09-20-2004, 01:46 PM   #19
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    You guys are some team.....and it would be great if you could get him to chat...stay tuned


    I will stay tuned

    He may frown on the idea but try to get him to.

     
    Old 09-20-2004, 02:27 PM   #20
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Sorry guys....you're gonna be stuck with me. Hubby read everything & said he appreciates the invite but that he is not into typing and is very slow at it which I can vouch for!!! It was a good try but his just reading through my posts as well as your responses got me a big hug & kiss and a statement of "I'll try to work on improving in the romance department setting a goal of 48 hours and then 72 hours and then perhaps eventually we'll get to forever"!!
    How's that for progress

    I have to say...this saved us a trip to a counselor and about $150 all at the same time. For now on I'll call you two the "dymnamic duo"

    Thanks to you SusieQ as well...I really appreciate your time as well as your advice.

    P.S. Hubby says to tell you guys that sadly enough my side of the story is accurate and true but will be changing not exactly overnite but with time

    Thanks Guys....look forward to talking to you again....Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 09-20-2004 at 02:30 PM.

     
    Old 09-20-2004, 02:34 PM   #21
    eightball61
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    Sorry guys....you're gonna be stuck with me. Hubby read everything & said he appreciates the invite but that he is not into typing and is very slow at it which I can vouch for!!! It was a good try but his just reading through my posts as well as your responses got me a big hug & kiss and a statement of "I'll try to work on improving in the romance department setting a goal of 48 hours and then 72 hours and then perhaps eventually we'll get to forever"!!
    How's that for progress

    He can still type away. I am no pro at typing and that why half of my stuff doesn't make any sense Another thing is he talks and you can type for him

    You may want to still consider talking to a professional maybe. We are a good first start but not always the solution.

     
    Old 09-20-2004, 02:44 PM   #22
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Thanks 8 ball!! I'm actually impressed that he read through my post...that's a big step for him. I know things don't get fixed overnite especially when it's been going on for so long and I do appreciate the suggestion of me typing for him...but I don't want to push the guy over the edge all in one day. I'll relay what you posted to him & if he feels the need to vent I'll find you. (Don't hold your breath though) In any case...I will definitely keep you posted and once again thank you for being there for me when I needed a friend....Goody

     
    Old 09-20-2004, 02:47 PM   #23
    eightball61
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    Thanks 8 ball!! I'm actually impressed that he read through my post...that's a big step for him. I know things don't get fixed overnite especially when it's been going on for so long and I do appreciate the suggestion of me typing for him...but I don't want to push the guy over the edge all in one day. I'll relay what you posted to him & if he feels the need to vent I'll find you. (Don't hold your breath though) In any case...I will definitely keep you posted and once again thank you for being there for me when I needed a friend....Goody

    You are doing good...Take it one step at a time like when a child walks. Dont force him but keep onto him like a good coach.

     
    Old 09-20-2004, 02:52 PM   #24
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    Hubby read everything & said he appreciates the invite but that he is not into typing and is very slow at it which I can vouch for!!! It was a good try but his just reading through my posts as well as your responses got me a big hug & kiss and a statement of "I'll try to work on improving in the romance department setting a goal of 48 hours and then 72 hours and then perhaps eventually we'll get to forever"!!
    How's that for progress
    Goody, when he saw you were desperate enough to ask Eightball and me for advice, he must have realized that things were worst than he thought.

    Slow and steady progress is the best way to handle change. We hope it works for you two. If he backslides, make sure he realizes that you could type his thoughts for him. We canít tell the difference from this end. Really!

    Seriously, keep us posted how things go.

     
    Old 09-20-2004, 02:55 PM   #25
    eightball61
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Goody, when he saw you were desperate enough to ask Eightball and me for advice, he must have realized that things were worst than he thought.


    Thats what I was thinking but in reality they have no other choice so that why I reccomend a professional


    If we keep this up man we are going to drag down the world with us Anyway, I like your advice and some do disagree from time to time on my, your, or whoevers post but I have learned I can't please them all....right?

    Last edited by eightball61; 09-20-2004 at 02:56 PM.

     
    Old 09-20-2004, 03:05 PM   #26
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by eightball61
    I can't please them all....right?
    Amen, Batman!

     
    Old 09-30-2004, 07:58 PM   #27
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Hi Goody,

    Every time I see you post and help someone, I wonder if things are improving for you.

    I hope you can provide an update soon.

     
    Old 09-30-2004, 08:21 PM   #28
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Hey...Heartland Nice of you to followup with me. Actually things are going pretty good. Yesterday hubby called & suggested he bring chinese home for lunch & that we grab a matinee Haven't done that in quite a while. I don't expect things to turn better overnite....but we talked after my post about my needs and how the garden of our marriage needs tending to in order to not be taken over by the weeds. I realize that alot of the time I expect him to know intuitively what I need at a given moment which only really happens in the movies or in the romance novels that I read. Sometimes I feel like if I have to ask then he really doesn't love me....but usually all I need to do is ask & he'll do it. So I'm trying to be more realistic....I just want to be sure we don't sink into the old rut and forget about what we truly mean to each other.

    I took your advice and am trying to avoid any complaining (hard to do when there are 2 teens in the house) and when I posted & reread what I wrote I realized that I had shut myself down from being romantic myself for some time because I felt as if I were the only one doing it. That's where I think I went wrong....because I can only be responsible for what I can do just as he is responsible for what he can do. If I shutdown then I am just as at fault as he is. So I've made a conscious efffort to not be that way and have already seen improvement.

    Another good thing is to see others going through problems and in giving them advice here I not only feel that my problems are not so bad but also in offering help I can see that what I think & feel is good and that I am capable of working through this with hubby. We've been together for 15 years...and yes there are times we take each other for granted but I do know that we love one another and will work through renewing our relationship.

    How are things with you? I see that you and eightball are still doing the dynamic duo thing. I try to pitch in here & there as well....you ask for advice you also have to be willing to give Hubby says to say hi and thanks for the kick in the pants ....Goody

     
    Old 10-01-2004, 06:17 AM   #29
    eightball61
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz

    I took your advice and am trying to avoid any complaining (hard to do when there are 2 teens in the house) and when I posted & reread what I wrote I realized that I had shut myself down from being romantic myself for some time because I felt as if I were the only one doing it. That's where I think I went wrong....because I can only be responsible for what I can do just as he is responsible for what he can do. If I shutdown then I am just as at fault as he is. So I've made a conscious efffort to not be that way and have already seen improvement.

    :


    you dont want to shut down. You may give up but shutting down can only make problems worse. When me and my GF fight she will shut down alot to not make the matter worse. I have always been by her side until she has giving up and ready to talk. She will tell me to leave but I dont because I know in reality she doesn't and has told me that before. With my effort on trying to make things right she has seen I am very denicated and I am not like anyother BF she has had. When she is upset I will make her to give me a hug so she know the warmth I carry. I am not saying you have to do this but to keep something going rather than quiting there has to be at least one strong person in a fight to bring things back.

     
    Old 10-01-2004, 06:35 AM   #30
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    Re: Marriage after 15 years...happily ever after???

    Yeah....8 ball, you're absolutely right. Unfortunastely, my hubby ignores me when I shutdown...when a hug would be just what the doctor ordered. I'm going to share that with him tonite so that next time I do shut down it doesn't hurt me as much when he acts as if nothing is wrong. He has told me that when I leave or don't talk that he feels I need a cooling down period when in fact that's the last thing I need. I need to be told that he wants to work through the issue at hand & what can we do to
    help get us to that point. Yup...a hug would definitely do the thing....Goody

     
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