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  • She says she wants to take a 2 week break. What do I do? I'm dying.

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    Old 09-27-2004, 07:58 PM   #1
    RebelRocker
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    She says she wants to take a 2 week break. What do I do? I'm dying.

    Okay. So let me set the stage. We're both 19th. I live in my hometown. She has moved away to a new apartment in Toronto where she lives with one of her girlfriends for the school year. It's about an hour train ride away. We've been dating for a little over 3 months.

    Or perhaps I should say "have been" dating.
    The other day she decided that we need a 2 week break or so.
    Her reasons seemed neither concrete nor convincing.
    Included:
    - can't handle a relationship at this point of her life.
    - school work is too demanding
    - doesn't think she can give me what i want out of a relationship.

    so this happened 2 days ago... since then i have been crying, collecting myself and spending the rest of the day in agony supressing my sadness. I miss her more than i could express. i have been talking to her a lot since this happened. she has said that there isn't much difference between our relationship as a couple and the relationship between to best friends. and she says this as a way of suggesting that it'd be fine to be friends as there is little difference, apart from the intimacy.

    so she's taking a week or 2 to think. mean while i am torn. i try to be extraordinarily nice and we get along fine, but i dont want her to think that I am fine. Because I'm clearly not. I feel nausseous. Not in the way sad little teeny boppers say it, but i often actually feel as though i'm on the brink of vomitting.

    what should i do? how can i get her back? should i talk to some of her friends? i'm not looking to cope, cause feeling fine isn't good enough. i want "us" back...

    why send a brand new car to the wreckers? we were perfectly fine (she said she couldnt have asked for a better boyfriend) but she still decides to call it off temporarily.

    please ANY help would be more than great!

     
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    Old 09-27-2004, 08:11 PM   #2
    vintagegirl
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    Re: She says she wants to take a 2 week break. What do I do? I'm dying.

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're so sad... this is tough. Just remember, young girls go through phases... I would'nt hang too much on things she's said past. She is presently asking for space, and you need to give it to her. If you crowd her, you will freak her out. So do what she asks. If after the 2 weeks, she is still set in her thinking, respect that, but fly below the radar as her friend for a little while. I have done this in the past...and sparks did eventually fly again! Good luck~~

     
    Old 09-27-2004, 08:17 PM   #3
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    Re: She says she wants to take a 2 week break. What do I do? I'm dying.

    WHAO WHAO WHOA!!! Slow down. You sound scary for real. You haven't been dating that long for you to be so gung ho, even if it was love at first site. She apparently doesn't feel the same way for you and your going to have to accept that. I know it hurts and feels like you can't go on but you will! Girls like a chase too and you sound like you are accessable to her at any given time. She's young and deserves to be alone if she wants. Know that you do NOT ever have control over someone let alone their emotions. Don't hound her, don't talk to her friends, don't take a train ride or spy on her. ... leave her alone and let her call you and don't be so accessable for her. You don't want someone that you have to persuade to be with you. It sounds like she's kinda trying to be nice and let you down the easy way or the only way she knows how without hurting your feelings because you do seem too overly attached. You want honesty and I have given it to you what you do with it is up to you. Don't lose too much sleep over it because one day the right girl will come along and it will be this girls loss.

     
    Old 09-28-2004, 06:06 AM   #4
    eightball61
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    Re: She says she wants to take a 2 week break. What do I do? I'm dying.

    I feel your pain here You have to look at all the points though. You both only been together for 3 months. That is still relatively young and premature. She now has gone away to school and she wants to get settled and concentrate on a few things. She probably need the time to figure if she really wants to continue the relationship. Let her get a feel for her classes. You dont want to push or demand anything because that will push her away for good.

    I wish I could offer you more help to get over this but it will hurt for sometime but soon you will realize it was for the best. We are here...

     
    Old 09-28-2004, 04:12 PM   #5
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    Re: She says she wants to take a 2 week break. What do I do? I'm dying.

    Thanks guys, I appreciate it a lot. I'll take parts of what you've said to guide how i act.

    I know its only a 3 month relationship, but its just the unexpectedness and irrationality of the decision. She was happy and thought our relationship was doing well. So to hear that she wants out came as a total shock. She says that without the intimacy, we were basically best friends, so there isnt any reason we cant be best friends from here on out.

    I don't understand her fear of the word "couple". She knows I don't expect her hand or a key to her apartment or prenuptuals or anything. I just wanted to continue having fun together. We jived so well. She was like my other half. Same interests. Same morals. Same everything.

    It's a big tricky mess. We were perfect. She says the spark is still there. She has said we can be best friends. Friends with benefits even. But she says that shes never been a big fan of relationships. Having to remember anniversaries and making sure she talks to me everyday.

    So I don't know. I know we both still possess strong feelings for one another, but she also has feelings against being in a relationship. So I'm giving it a week and then we'll discuss where things stand.

     
    Old 09-28-2004, 04:31 PM   #6
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    Re: She says she wants to take a 2 week break. What do I do? I'm dying.

    Your both young. Give her space. Let her find out what she wants. Sometimes love is timing. Maybe this isn"t the right time.
    In the meantime, take a look at yourself and figure out if this person can fullfill YOUR needs.If not, then it"s time to look elsewhere.
    ps:not being so available to her might make you more attractive to her.Good luck.

     
    Old 09-28-2004, 08:57 PM   #7
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    Re: She says she wants to take a 2 week break. What do I do? I'm dying.

    I've heard that a lot so I think I may do that. Not be online so often.
    Thanks for the help everybody.

     
    Old 09-29-2004, 05:57 AM   #8
    eightball61
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    Re: She says she wants to take a 2 week break. What do I do? I'm dying.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by RebelRocker
    So I'm giving it a week and then we'll discuss where things stand.

    Try that out and see what happens. In life we go through many relationship to find the right one. Its only take one REAL relationship until you know you have the right one. Sometimes it takes months or even years to determine if that person was the one or not.

     
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