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  • I'm jealous for no reason right?

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    Old 10-01-2004, 11:40 PM   #1
    Im_Robyn
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    I'm jealous for no reason right?

    Okay heres the deal I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and everything is great we love each other very much, hes amazing with my two daughters they totally love him. He is everything I want in a guy to me hes perfect.
    I had to move in with my mom about a month 1/2 ago (but in two weeks I will be moving out again so Im not a total loser). Anyway at my moms house theres my mom my sister steph 21, sister sandy 20 and morgan ? shes sandys girlfriend. Until we moved in my family hated my boyfriend but now they are totally cool with him. My sister steph and him hang out all the time when I'm at work which is from 6pm - 5am f-m so that 4 nights they get to hang out together they usually watch movies.
    I know this sounds stupid but I am jealous of my sister hanging out with my boyfriend I have told my boyfriend how I feel and thinks that I am acting childish but I cant help it he sees her more than me and it does bother me.
    They even go on drives together and I hate that the most.
    And right now I am at work its 12:30am and I havnt heard from him everynight at about 10:30 - 11:30 he gets online at home and chats with me. So to me he finds hanging out with steph to be a higher priority than chatting with me even if it was to just tell me how things are going.

    Am I really out of line to feel the way I do it is a good thing that my family likes him but I hate that steph and him get along so well. They do things together that I dont get the opportunity to do with him becuase of work and my children.

    Does anyone have any advise to help me with this? I know hes not doing anything with her I trust both of them thats not at all what this is about. But I need someone to shed some light on helping me not feel so jealous of my sister.
    Thanks Robyn

    Last edited by Im_Robyn; 10-01-2004 at 11:45 PM.

     
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    Old 10-01-2004, 11:49 PM   #2
    Ninispjc
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    What do the other members of your family have to say about how they are together when you're gone? Wouldn't they tell you if there were reason to be alarmed? I think it's probably natural to feel a little jealousy toward anyone who gets to spend more time with your sweetie than you do. Perhaps you guys could set up a regular "date night", like one night a week that the two of you set aside just for yourselves, no one else invited.

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 12:28 AM   #3
    Im_Robyn
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    My mom jokes about how when I'm at work the two of them can snuggle on the couch or whatever with out me getting mad. For some reason she thinks its funny to be demented.
    We do set up times to be alone and when I am off since I get three days off I do spend it with him. But I just cant help feeling that she gets him more than me.
    I hate being jealous like this I have never been like this with anyone else I have ever been with.
    Last week he took me to work and when he picked me up he took to the mountains, he had a breakfast made for us and we had sex in the truck and we even watched the sun come up it was so sweet but while drving up there he kept on mentioning that when he brought my sister up there for a drive (which really bothered me that he took her up there) all the things they saw.
    So of course I was not in that good of a mood. I was bitchy towards him even though he did this sweet thing for me. He didnt sleep that night and had to volenteer the next day so he didnt get any sleep at all.
    See thats how bad I am I ruined a special thing that he had planned for me.
    Even though he only planned it becuase I got upset when I found out that him and my sister went for a drive in the mountains.
    Robyn

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 01:52 AM   #4
    Ninispjc
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    If I were you I think I'd ask your mom, all kidding aside, if she sees anything going on between the two of them that you should be worried about. Your mom unfortunately isn't helping the situation by joking like that. Perhaps you could confide in her how upset you are and that you're really concerned something may be going on between them. But if I were you, I'd bite my tongue around your BF for the time being. Constantly pestering him about your sister and getting upset and ruining trips and whatnot couldn't be making you much fun to be with. Until you have concrete proof, you may just have to find a way to have faith that they're both being respectful to you and be secure in the knowledge. Or if you wanted to go the other way, you could install a nanny-cam in your sister's bedroom. I hope it wouldn't come to that, but I must admit if I were in your shoes, I might consider something like that. But I think it's a last resort sort of thing.

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 02:41 AM   #5
    Im_Robyn
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    I'm actually not worried at all that they are doing anything that they are not suppose to.
    I trust the both of them

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 03:28 AM   #6
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Im_Robyn
    My mom jokes about how when I'm at work the two of them can snuggle on the couch or whatever with out me getting mad. For some reason she thinks its funny to be demented.
    LOL... I'm sorry Robyn but I had to laugh. Onlly another demented mind can find humor in that. LOL

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Im_Robyn
    We do set up times to be alone and when I am off since I get three days off I do spend it with him. But I just cant help feeling that she gets him more than me.
    I hate being jealous like this I have never been like this with anyone else I have ever been with.

    Then don't start now or let it continue. You will be moving out you say in a couple of weeks and you trust that they are not getting physical with each other, so stop worrying about it much. However, if he continues to get together with her after you move out then you may need to have a serious talk with that boy, but for now just bear with it for another two weeks. Let them snuggle on the couch! Just kidding!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Im_Robyn
    Last week he took me to work and when he picked me up he took to the mountains, he had a breakfast made for us and we had sex in the truck and we even watched the sun come up it was so sweet but while drving up there he kept on mentioning that when he brought my sister up there for a drive (which really bothered me that he took her up there) all the things they saw.
    So of course I was not in that good of a mood. I was bitchy towards him even though he did this sweet thing for me. He didnt sleep that night and had to volenteer the next day so he didnt get any sleep at all.
    See thats how bad I am I ruined a special thing that he had planned for me.
    Even though he only planned it becuase I got upset when I found out that him and my sister went for a drive in the mountains.
    Robyn
    That was not very nice of you. You might want to think about apologizing to him or at the very least tell him how much you appreciated what he tried to do for you even if you did kind of ruined the trip for him somewhat.

    Does he have a job? Maybe that is what he needs to occupy some of his free time.

    HOOP!( sometimes they call me, HOOP!) ... the demented one!

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 07:08 AM   #7
    eightball61
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    I feel you jealousy here but you have to trust. If you truelly love eachother then you have to trust. Relationships are built on trust and communication. you cant lack any of these or it will go down. If you feel that uncomfortable then maybe you all could hang as a group first so you get some security.

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 07:13 AM   #8
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    I agree with Hoop. You are moving out soon so hopefully you and your boyfriend will have more time together...now did you and your boyfriend move in with your mom? Or does he live somewhere else and comes over and hangs with your sister?

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 09:17 AM   #9
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    Good question elated. If he lives there i can see the hanging out (not as much though), if he doesn"t then he needs to find other things to do with his time.
    Either way you look at it, he is disrespecting you by continuing to to something that your uncomfortable with.
    Did you talk to your sister about it? Better yet, talk to both of them together. Yes, i know your moving out shortly. Do you think that will put an end to them seeing each other? How did they get along before you moved?

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 02:00 PM   #10
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    I am with Elated and Realguy. Did you bf move in with you to your mother's place? If so, I suspect he doesn't have job because otherwise, he could have let you move into his apartment. He seems to have way too much time on his hands. Now, if he lives somewhere else and comes over to your mom's house solely for the purpose of hanging out with your little sister, I find that slightly creepy. Either way, you have a right to be concerned. Hopefully when you answer our questions, the situation will be more clear.

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 05:22 PM   #11
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    ummm Wow..............

    Reading your post, and shaking my head
    OK, your Question is : I'm jealous for no reason right?
    JEALOUS, how about ****** off?

    Your off a work, making a living and your sweetheart of a boyfriend is snuggling on the couch with your sister? Ummm, exuse me? HOW hold is this boyfriend of yours? DOES HE WORK? What is up with him? Takes your sister up for a ride to the mountains? RIDES around with her? HELLO, does he not have any friends? OH, sure he must have friends to tell them how his sweet girlfriend is at work and he's hanging or living at her mom's house and couching it with her sister? Your mom thinks this is cute? Alright, I know you didn't say your mom thought is was cute - but, HEY - she thinks it funny?

    I find NO humor in this, I find no Reason your boyfriend should be ON THE couch hanging with your sister, sisters, mother, or whomever...

    That sweet Breakfast Mountain ride you tooked that you feel guillty for spoiling the "mood" - You should have sholved him off a cliff.....

    You asked about Jealous, sorry - I find this so wrong - The only snuggling this boy should be doing is WITH YOU not your sister, the only Scenic drives or any drives should be WITH YOU...Does he want a Sister Act or a Girlfriend?

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 05:23 PM   #12
    Im_Robyn
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    Yeah he did move in to my moms, a few months ago he went to Washington to help his sister who had surgery and 3 kids. His sisters husband wouldnt help her and two of the kids under 2 so she really needed the help. So of course when he got here (colorado) he didnt have a job he just recently got hired at my place but he hasnt started yet. They messed up and gave his position to someone else but will hire him as soon as one comes available. Of course is looking for another job until this one comes through.

    Oh Hoop I did appoligize for the way I bahaved that day he took me to the mountains, and I told him how much I loved and appreciated it, but of course he was still hurt. It was very selfish and childish of me to act the way I did that morning.

    This whole this isnt becuase I dont trust them I really do I know nothing is happening with them. I was just being retarted and jealous that my sisters sees him more than I do. But it really is nice of him to hang out with her, she over weight and becuase of that she never really leaves the house unless my boyfriend and I take her with us when we go out. She has no friends and is affraid that people will make fun of her.
    And when we do move I will have her over all the time so she will get to hang out with us. Anyway shes upset about not living with my daughters anymore so she wants to babysit for me whenever she can.
    I have realized what a baby I have been about the whole situation.
    Thanks for all your responses.
    Robyn

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 05:28 PM   #13
    Im_Robyn
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    GirlHarly they are not actually snuggling on the couch my mom was trying to be funny. And he is 28.
    I am glad that you said that I should be the only one he takes on drives becuase I thought I was being selfish thinking that.
    They havnt ben hanging out anymore becuase as they put" We dont want to **** Robyn off". So at least they got it through thier heads.

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 05:55 PM   #14
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Im_Robyn
    GirlHarly they are not actually snuggling on the couch my mom was trying to be funny. And he is 28.
    I am glad that you said that I should be the only one he takes on drives becuase I thought I was being selfish thinking that.
    They havnt ben hanging out anymore becuase as they put" We dont want to **** Robyn off". So at least they got it through thier heads.

    He's 28, so he's a MAN and he should know better. You are not being selfish, nor is it a matter of jealousy. You have every right to be mad and upset and with sister did and boyfriend did was damn wrong and a disrespect to you.

    So, they do have some brians that they "don't want to **** you off"
    Sorry for the Italian in me but I would give them both a slap on the back of the head for being Stupid. Your SISTER owes YOU an apology and so does your boyfriend.

    I have two sisters and neither one of them would ever THINK of doing this to me (they are older then me) nor would I have be hanging out with their boyfriends or husbands without them for whatever reason....

     
    Old 10-02-2004, 06:02 PM   #15
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    Re: I'm jealous for no reason right?

    I see REDFLAGS in your relationship. The sarcasm they have about "******* " you off should tell you something about their relationship.Do you think because your sister"s overweight that he can"t be attracted to her? Don"t fool yourself.

     
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