It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 01-27-2005, 04:59 PM   #1
    emma j
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    emma j's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: nevermind
    Posts: 539
    emma j HB User
    Don't know what to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Hi all,
    I've been looking on this site for a long time and and have decided to write something. where to start.

    Well i'm 21 and have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. before x mass things weren't great and one night he came up to my house to finish with me. i was heart broken. this is like my soulmate, the one, the person i want to have babies with and walk up the aisle with and he's about to break up with me my life was falling apart there and then. for nearly four days i didnt eat sleep talk nothing. i couldn't belive that the person who said would never split up with me was breaking my heart. anyway a week later we sorted through some stuff and came to the conclusion that if he had of just come to me and spoke to me about why he was unhappy with our relationship it would of been sorted with out what happen having to hapening. is it all blokes or just mine that doesn't have te ability to talk about there felling to the person they love. anyway things went fine for about three weeks. he promised on his earth that he would never ever put me through what he did again but i was a bit wary i said i'm gonna have it in the back of my mind when's he gonna do it again but i believed him that he wouldn't. Then bam last week he says i'm still not happy and doesn't want to work at it anymore. Again i feel sick to the stomach my soulmate doesn't want to be with me.
    I've been trying so so hard to be nice and not getting annoyed at things he does but it seems to be a waste of time. he only ever says he loves me when i say it to him and i think i'm unindentually guilt trippin him cos i'm sending txt's like oh i love u so much and i really feel this is working just so as we won't fel bad and dump me. Also theres these girls he knows txting him a few of them. i know he'd never ever cheat on me he has to much respct for me but still i'm not happy about it. So i decided if he's gonna dump me soon i'm gonna have a stab and asking him to marry me. he asked me a few months ago and i said no, but now i feel ready, hey it can't hurt at least i'll know.
    Ok i'm going on a bit now. ok so what do i do to try convience him to stay. this is the person who a few montsh ago wanted to spend his life with me and now this. my life is falling apart. no job no bf what next. i feel that if we split i will go into a depression becuse this s how deep my love his for him. so what to u do when u realise u won't spend ur life with ur soulmate the person u wanna have a child with. im so confused right now i guess i ned some advice. also i'd just like to say the last two years have been the best ever but right now i feel we's treating me ****. we made love tonight and 5 mins later he was gone. am i being used
    so sorry its long.
    Sad and depressed
    emma j

    Last edited by emma j; 01-27-2005 at 05:08 PM.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 01-27-2005, 05:38 PM   #2
    goody2shuz
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: May 2004
    Location: New York
    Posts: 5,805
    goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Hi, Emma Goody is sorry to hear how upset things have been since the hoidays. I gather that you are from England having once heard the work "bloke" and someone telling me it was an English term for boyfriend.

    You ask how you can convince your bloke to stay with you....unfortunately Emma there is nothing you can really do that will guarantee that he will. My concern is that you truly do love this guy but he seems to not reciprocate the feeelings as you describe in your post. Can you have babies or wish to walk down the aisle with somebody who doesn't show you the love or make you feel loved as you deserve to be??? Do you want to spend the future with this guy feeling the way you do right now????

    The truth is that as far as he is concerned, things are not the same as they were 2 years ago when you first met. He clearly has told you that he doesn't feel the same & doesn't wish to work on your relationship anymore. Do you really wish to be with a bloke like this????? Someone that doesn't want to be with you anymore???? No, Emma, you are far better off without him and moving on to find your real soulmate....a soulmate is someone who is as much in love with you as you are with him. This guy is not your soulmate and you cannot make him into your soulmate as much as you would like him to be.

    You sound young....and I am almost certain that this guy was your first real love. I know it is hard to let go but you truly deserve somebody who will have as much love for you as you do for him. Surely you know that you will not find it with this one.....no matter how much you wish to. I know it hurts...and please know that we are here for you. Good luck......Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 01-27-2005 at 05:40 PM.

     
    Old 01-27-2005, 06:26 PM   #3
    Dream0n83
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Nov 2004
    Location: Michigan
    Posts: 386
    Dream0n83 HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    I too agree w/goody about this.

    He told you he wasnt happy and wasnt feeling it anymore. I think asking him to marry you will just be a bigger let down when he tells you no. If he's trying to split w/you right now, why would he want to marry you? No offense I dont want to sound harsh, but it's reality.

    And your still having sex with him, is going to make it even harder for the two of you to split. If he knows he can still "get some" he's gonna stay around, without being your b/f.

    It's 2 1/2 years i understand and it will be hard for you to move on, but it sounds like you will have to. Everyone on this board has been through it once in their life time!

    There isnt going to be anything you can do to get him to stay around if he isnt willing. And by what you decribed, he isnt. He's ready to let you go. Maybe you should be prepared to let him go...

    Good luck.

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 08:56 AM   #4
    susieq0726
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    susieq0726's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2004
    Location: Oregon
    Posts: 2,441
    susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    You cannot control the feelings, emotions or actions of other people. Period. Don't try to. You will only frustrate yourself and he will end up resenting you. If he wants to go, let him go. Saying or doing anything will only make you look and feel desperate.
    And by all means, STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM! My guess is yes,,,he is using you. Men and women have a completely different view about sex. Women have a tendency to tie it in with love and affection, where men view it more as a physical thing and don't tie their emotions into it - Especially when they have broken up with someone. Women ask themselves "How can we have sex and then leaves me?" That's because it's a physical thing for them at that point. Usually, men will take advantage of a "sex" situation every chance they get. (I know my husband once told me that if he were a female and not married, he would be a sl*t! lol )
    I know you are hurting and it won't go away over night. It's a process that takes time to get through, but you can do it and find someone that deserves you!

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 09:47 AM   #5
    elatedgiraffe
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    elatedgiraffe's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Apr 2004
    Posts: 1,783
    elatedgiraffe HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    You've already got some great advice from the other posters. They all have really good points and I couldn't agree with them more.

    I think right now, since this just happened, you are still in denial about the ending of the relationship. This is normal. You just can't imagine your life without him and are willing to do anything and everything to get things back to the way they used to be. You're even willing to ask him to marry you in an attempt to make things "right" again. As I said it is normal to go into a denial about a break-up, but soon reality will hit and you need to prepare yourself for it. There is NOTHING you can do to convince him to be with you. You can't make him feel a certain way that he ISN'T feeling. Even if you asked him to marry you there is no guarantee that he wouldn't leave AGAIN. You must ask yourself, "why do you want to marry someone who doesn't want to marry you?". Imagine that kind of relationship...he'll resent you and treat you awful. You deserve so much more and you know that.

    Once reality actually hits you that things are over with you and your ex you very well may fall into a depression. Many people do. You're going to feel bad. You're already not eating and I doubt you are sleeping. You'll cry alot and question your own self-worth. This is all normal. Depression isn't the end of the world. More than likely in time, you'll get through it fine, but if not there is always meds and therapy that can help you too.

    As much as it feels like it. The world has not ended because he left you. Your life has not ended because he left you. You were more than just this guy's girlfriend...you just have to find that person again. All this will come in time. My best advice for now, is try your best to let things be. If he wants to be with you he knows where he can find you. Take all this in slowly. I know it can be really shocking. So take care of yourself and do the absolute best you can at doing so. Its going to be a rough ride, but you'll be okay.

    Also, sleeping with him won't get him back. It will only make it harder for you to let go. If you don't want to feel used, then don't let him use you. I promise that having sex with him will not in anyway "change" his mind no matter how much you'll try and convince yourself otherwise.

    Hang in there. Many people here can help. They helped me quite a bit when I went through the same thing a couple months back.

    Last edited by elatedgiraffe; 01-28-2005 at 09:49 AM.

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 12:59 PM   #6
    Ninispjc
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Mar 2003
    Location: Western USA
    Posts: 1,757
    Ninispjc HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Yes, you have gotten some really great advice here, Emma. No, I don't think someone is your soulmate if they are having such a hard time being happy with you. I know how hard it can be to let it go, it can be really hard, but it's true, we cannot control other peoples' feelings and actions. The only thing we can control is how we deal with them. I agree, I think it would be easier for you to think about moving forward if you broke off contact with him. You need to start focusing on the future. I wish you all the luck in the world in getting past this, and I'm sure you will.

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 04:06 PM   #7
    emma j
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    emma j's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: nevermind
    Posts: 539
    emma j HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    thank you all so

    Last edited by emma j; 01-28-2005 at 04:12 PM.

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 04:11 PM   #8
    emma j
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    emma j's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: nevermind
    Posts: 539
    emma j HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Thank you so so much for everyone writing back i really appreciate it. i'm feeling really down right now and its my flippin 21st birthday party tomorrow night and i'm just NOT in the mood of putting on a big front to people. Everyone says we're the perfect couple and we're made for each other wish he'd see that.
    Whats really hurting me is how he was with me only a few months ago so loving, caring just the perfect man. he said that he loved to make love to me that he felt so close to me and that it was the best feeling in the world. How 6 months ago he was proposing to me, i said i wasn't ready but that i defo wanted to. and he was saying he wanted to spend his life with me and now he doesn't show me any affection. How can that change in such a short time.

    In reality yes i don't want to be walk down the aisle or have children with this person if he's capable of treating me like this right now but i guess yes i am in denail and i am not prepared to face up to that quite yet. I would give my life to walk up the aisle and see this person smiling back at me(i'm getting upset now!!!) Yes he is my first real love but i know he's the person i want to spend mylife with thats what upsets me so much that chances are i won't and that hurts so bad.
    The having sex issue now thats a toughy. when i have se with him its so so mush more than sex ya know. its me being close and intimate and having the amzing special thing with someone thats hard to not say no to. i suppose i think to myself well i suppose i'll do it it might be my last time and maybe he'll feel close to me and feel different. i'mgonna miss making love to him and being close to him. Im gonna have to think so hard about that one.
    I have a very close friend i've spoken to and she says that i deserve much much more and i should move on but in reality thats so uch easier said that done.
    I was out in the pub with him tonight and he spent the whole time txting a girl who was in hospital after her dad got taken in. he has the same medical condition that he has and he was just giving her advice and that was fine but as soon as the phone beeped it was straight out and he replied immediately for maybe three hours solid i got home and txted him twice and have gotten no reply.that hurts.
    ok i think thats it. sorry it was long.i'll be on here everynight you guys have already done so much.thank you.
    Still feeling crap!
    Emma

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 05:10 PM   #9
    emma j
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    emma j's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: nevermind
    Posts: 539
    emma j HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Thought i should throw this in to(i sorry i just need to get everything out).
    My bf has a medical condition that probably won't let him life past 35-40 or have kids for that matter but i don't care he is the love of my life and i would never ever end it because of his condition i want to be with him till the day he dies. i've stuck by him through all the scary hospital visits and all the stays in hospital and the operations and this is how he repays me.thanks is what i say.
    I'd never make this a factor in saying i should save myself even more worry when the end for his life comes because i couldn't be that shellfish but i just thought to myself this is how he repays me ya know. k i'm done now and off to bed.

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 05:47 PM   #10
    emma j
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    emma j's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: nevermind
    Posts: 539
    emma j HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Oh my god it never ends.
    k just got of the phone to him and i said how i was feeling about him spending the WHOLE night txting another girl. don't get me wrong he was giving this girl advice so it was fine but when i said that i felt a bit hurt that when i txted him i got a one word answer back or nothing at all he told me i was being petty and silly. i then said that i was just being honest with him and telling him my feeling and that did he nt want me to tell him my feelings.his answer was. I really don't give a s.h.i.t I feel so hurt

    When all this start i was so hurt and thought to myself however bad it got i would never feel like i wanted to end it but for the first time i said to myself i can't do this anymore. becuase he's saying mean and hurtful things i deserve much much more. I'm so upset and crying now. why does i person u love so much have to be so mean.
    Ok now i'm really off to bed won't get any sleep but anyway.

    Again i'm so so sorry for going on but for me to get all this out and talk to someone means alot.

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 06:32 PM   #11
    goody2shuz
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: May 2004
    Location: New York
    Posts: 5,805
    goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Emma....You are so young and I know that you really have loved this guy and were dreaming of having his babies and walking down the aisle and all...but that was all a while ago before all this happened, wasn't it???? He is obviously not on the same page of life as you in wanting to be in the story that you have written about the two of you living happily ever after.

    I think you should think about giving yourself a birthday present and letting go of all these dreams you have of being with someone who so obviously doesn't share the same dreams as you. That way you will be able to meet the one who will make all of your dreams come true. Emma....it's time to move on...I know your heart is broken and you're hurting but the sooner you walk away the sooner you'll find the one who will love you back. No more contact...it's over and no more texts......Goody

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 07:30 PM   #12
    Snails
    Senior Veteran
     
    Snails's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Posts: 1,137
    Snails HB UserSnails HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by emma j
    Everyone says we're the perfect couple and we're made for each other wish he'd see that. Whats really hurting me is how he was with me only a few months ago so loving, caring just the perfect man. he said that he loved to make love to me that he felt so close to me and that it was the best feeling in the world. How 6 months ago he was proposing to me, i said i wasn't ready but that i defo wanted to. and he was saying he wanted to spend his life with me and now he doesn't show me any affection. How can that change in such a short time.

    In reality yes i don't want to be walk down the aisle or have children with this person if he's capable of treating me like this right now but i guess yes i am in denail and i am not prepared to face up to that quite yet. I would give my life to walk up the aisle and see this person smiling back at me(i'm getting upset now!!!) Yes he is my first real love but i know he's the person i want to spend mylife with thats what upsets me so much that chances are i won't and that hurts so bad.
    Emma, like everyone else I am truly sorry that you are feeling so hurt and going through such a painful experience. I agree with the other posters that you can't make someone feel how you want them to feel--that's just something that's completely out of control. Sad as it is to say, this guy just isn't crazy about you anymore, and his actions are making it clear that he doesn't want to be committed to you. I know it must hurt terribly, but the only way to start to move on is to realize that no matter what you do, you aren't going to be able to change his mind and coax him back into loving you the way he once did.

    The other thing to keep in mind is that this is your first love, and everyone thinks that their first love is the love of their life and that they could never love someone else that much. This is completely natural, because your first love is the first person you've felt this passionately about, and you have nothing to compare it to. It makes complete sense that this love now seems to you like the most intimate connection imaginable, but that is really just because you have never experienced love with anyone else. Very few people spend their lives with their first love, for many reasons: young couples often grow apart and distance themselves from each other as they mature in different directions, almost everyone experiences true love more than once in a lifetime, and love is not enough to make a relationship work in the long run. Lifelong partnership requires compatibility, shared values, priorities and goals, excellent communication, maturity, compromise, etc. And while all first loves are passionate and intense, most lack the other requirements for a lasting relationship. Just try to remind yourself that the reason you feel like you want to marry him, have his babies, and spend your life with him is because you've never loved anybody else (and therefore can't imagine loving anyon else as much as you love him), not because he really is the perfect lifelong mate for you. I hate to be harsh, but if he was your ideal partner, he wouldn't be trying to break up with you--it really is that simple, sad as it sounds.

    No matter what other people say about you guys being perfect for each other, only you and your BF really know how you feel about each other and whether you want to be together in the long run. If he doesn't see you in his future, there's nothing you can do to change his mind. Hard as it is to see this now, this is actually for the best, because it would be a terrible thing to spend your life with a partner who didn't love you as passionately and completely as you love him. I think you will look back someday and be happy that things ended when they did, because this was going to happen eventually, and you would have only spent more time being miserable and uncertain. You deserve a chance to move on with your life and meet someone who will never question or doubt his love and devotion to you. I know it seems impossible that your BF could have gone from wanting to marry you to wanting to break up in a few months, but unfortunately, it does and did happen. The only thing to do now is accept his decision and try to get past it--yes, this will be terribly hard and take time, but it will be worth it when someday you find a man who will make you ever forget about your first love and who will love you without any uncertainty.

    Also remember that just because you see things a certain way, that doesn't mean your BF feels the same way. For you, making love to him is romantic and intimate and draws you closer, but for him it may be just a means of physical gratification. As another poster said, men are more capable than women of detaching their emotions from sex, especially once they feel that they're moving on from a relationship. I wish I could tell you that great sex might make him change his mind and feel close to you again, but it really just doesn't work like this with guys. You're the one who's feeling emotional and intimate during sex and therefore making yourself vulnerable to getting hurt, while he's having a good time. You really should cut him off to protect yourself, make the first step in moving on, and begin to allow yourself to heal. Your friend is right that you deserve much more than this guy, and until you can let go of him, he will continue to disappoint you and make this process more and more painful. I hate to see you going through this, but please think long and hard about the responses you've gotten and try to take some of our advice. Everyone here has been through a similar situation and just wants to help you get through this as quickly and painlessly as possible, without dragging it out and repeating the mistakes so many of us have made. Good luck and hang in there...it really will get easier in time.

     
    Old 01-28-2005, 11:20 PM   #13
    ~Tyger~
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    ~Tyger~'s Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2004
    Posts: 325
    ~Tyger~ HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Hi there Emma, its me, Emma from the other thread…

    Reading through you’re post hit very close to home. We’re in very similar positions, so I feel for you. I am turning 21 in 5 months, and I’ve just broken up with my boyfriend of 2 ½ years. Like you, he was the one I thought I was destined to marry, to devote the rest of my life to, to have his kids, and he seemed a safe bet as he was so besotted by me and completely in love. Yet less than 2 weeks after dumping me (we kept sleeping together which was a mistake) he has moved on with another woman…one of our mutual friends. This is someone he had rejected many times in the past…but it seems he was just so eager to move on with his life that he settled for her. I don’t feel replaced (read my other thread you’ll see why) but I do feel very lonely.

    I know how scary it is that just a month ago you’re boyfriend was treating you like a princess and completely in love with you. It was the same with mine. I never ever doubted that his love for me was strong and passionate, he couldn’t bear the thought of life without me, he would write me the most adorable sms’s and make love to me in the most romantic way, telling me he’d do anything for me. I always felt like the one in control. Then, almost within a few weeks, he had a complete turn-around and couldn’t handle his family pressures or our relationship any more, and its like he successfully convinced himself to NOT love me. He cried when he finally broke up with me, but then we kept sleeping together for weeks after. He still seemed to have strong feelings then. But then he went away for just a week, and when he came back I knew something had changed. It was so scary looking into his face on that final day and seeing it vacant. Its like the person I loved had died.

    I’m afraid my honest opinion is that things with this guy you are with are likely to end soon. And perhaps if they don’t, you should give some serious thought to ending it yourself, even. I know you would do anything to make it work with this guy. But I made myself believe the same thing, and all that happened was it dragged on longer till the break-up was even more painful and messy than it could have been. If you look at him and see that he is different to what he used to be, and isn’t treating you right, then it is likely that you’re just in love with the PAST image of him and you’re trying to hang on in a desperate attempt to get that person back. I believed the same…it wasn’t true. He is different now, has made up his mind, and by trying to make him stay I only made it harder for myself when he finally left. PLEASE try not to keep sleeping with him if you DO break up. I thought I was invincible, and just wanted sex, but the truth is what everyone says…somewhere inside you, it’s a desperate attempt to make him come back, to have things back the way they were. Then when the sex stops, its almost like going through the break-up ALL OVER AGAIN. I wouldn’t want you to go through what I’ve been through these past weeks. Its hell.

    I’m probably not the best person to judge anything right now though…but what I will share with you is how I’ve been dealing, it seems similar to you!
    I’ve hardly been eating at all. I lost 4 kilos in the first 2 weeks, and haven’t gone a day without crying yet. The worst part is all the things that will remind you of him – I spent SO much time with this guy that almost everything, songs, movies, our work, even food, reminds me of him. My situation is worse in that I have to work with him too, and we both do karate so I have to train under him. You won’t have these problems. One of the first things I did was take down all the photos and memories of him from my room, and store them in a box out of sight. It ended up being my entire room, almost. Later, when I’m over him, I’ll look into that box again. I also rearranged the furniture in my room so I’m not reminded of nights with him, and have tried to take up new hobbies to fill the void and get a new ‘routine’. That’s one of the hardest things. It feels like you’re normal life has been ripped from under you and you have to start afresh, alone and sad.

    Anyway I’ve blabbed on for ages, but I’ll definitely write back soon…pls let me know how you’re going, and whats happening. Its good to have someone I can talk to too.

    Tyger.

    Last edited by ~Tyger~; 01-28-2005 at 11:26 PM.

     
    Old 01-29-2005, 11:12 AM   #14
    SophiaM
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    SophiaM's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2003
    Posts: 5,529
    SophiaM HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by emma j
    Oh my god it never ends.
    k just got of the phone to him and i said how i was feeling about him spending the WHOLE night txting another girl. don't get me wrong he was giving this girl advice so it was fine but when i said that i felt a bit hurt that when i txted him i got a one word answer back or nothing at all he told me i was being petty and silly. i then said that i was just being honest with him and telling him my feeling and that did he nt want me to tell him my feelings.his answer was. I really don't give a s.h.i.t I feel so hurt

    When all this start i was so hurt and thought to myself however bad it got i would never feel like i wanted to end it but for the first time i said to myself i can't do this anymore. becuase he's saying mean and hurtful things i deserve much much more. I'm so upset and crying now. why does i person u love so much have to be so mean.
    Ok now i'm really off to bed won't get any sleep but anyway.

    Again i'm so so sorry for going on but for me to get all this out and talk to someone means alot.
    Just goes to show you that even terminally ill men are very much capable of being complete and utter jerks. I'm sorry honey, he's being so horrible to you and repaying you with so much meanness for all the love and support you gave him. It just makes me so angry. You were ready to overlook the fact that he might not live a long life and not be able to have children with you; you were ready sacrifice everything for him and just love him altruistically and stick by him through his illness, but he does not appreciate it, clearly. I think being seriously ill, unfortunately, does not make someone a better person. Maybe some people who face such challenges become more compassionate and loving as a result, but as you can see, not all. It's natural that you feel betrayed and like all your love was completely stomped on, but it truly is nobody's loss but his. I doubt he will eve find such a wonderful girl who will want to stick with him through thick and thin, and who will sacrifice having children on his account. You should walk away and not talk to him at all. He honestly doesn't deserve you. Maybe he purposely wants you to leave him because he knows he won't be able to offer you much of a future because of his illness, but no matter what his reasons are, his behavior is just not acceptable. You cannot make him change his mind. You are 21, and although this is very hard right now, you will in time find another man who will see in you the wonderful, loving, and compassionate woman that you are and will fall in love with you and want to spend his life with you. You have so much to offer; don't forget this.

     
    Old 01-30-2005, 12:51 PM   #15
    emma j
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    emma j's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: nevermind
    Posts: 539
    emma j HB User
    Re: Don't know that to do.a bit long but i really need a chat

    Hi all,
    Well i had my party last night. I wish it hadn't be dented by whats going on with me adn my boyfriend. i couldn't relax i was down for most of the night which i didn't want. he spent most the night txting that girl anyway he dad had been taking for an emergeny operation. now i'm not that cold hearted she needs a friend but does she need to txt him 24/7 it stopped at 2.30 last night and started at 10 this morning. i caught a look at one of the mgs and it said oh i'm sorry your only having an ok night i was like fair enough so, and shes all tall with blonde hair, how are u suppose to compete with that. i'm afraid there gonna get close.
    i'm feeling very very down at the moment. one min i'm thinking emma he;s treating u crap get out but then i think but i love him so much and want my life with him. I gave in this morning and had sex with him. 10 mins later he was gone said he needed his meds.
    SophiaM you said It's natural that you feel betrayed and like all your love was completely stomped on. this is so true.after everything, sticking by him though thick and thin, the amount of times i've left work to get to the hosptial because he was stick. one time he said emma i'm so scared i need u with me and i had to leave work and this is how he repays me. i was even prepared and researching ivf so we could have a chance of having children and i am terriefied of needles and was willing to have loads it just all seems like a waste. oh my heads a messed.
    Emma i'm so glad i'm not alone well i am right now but have someone to talk to whos going to the pain i am. fact is though i'm still with him and have no idea when he's gonna turn around and say its over becuse i really really don't have the courage to do it.anyway my e mail address is [ please carefully review the posting rules - no emails ] if u wanna go through it with someone else to i sure could do with someone who's feeling as down and upset and down as i am.
    anyway thats it
    thanks everyone. you have no idea how much it means to get all this out
    emma

    Last edited by moderator2; 01-30-2005 at 01:33 PM. Reason: please carefully review the posting rules - no emails

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Herpes Situation - Please help, I need to know how this happened Daela Herpes 7 04-28-2010 07:55 PM
    I don't know what I should title this... (long post.. =/) lr582 Mental Health 3 07-04-2007 12:22 PM
    Don't know what to do with friend... solcita Relationship Health 2 01-23-2007 03:56 AM
    I just... just...I don't know. EoR Depression 385 10-25-2005 08:43 PM
    jobs suck don't you agree joekerr30 Depression 29 04-27-2005 02:49 PM
    I don't know how to respond to this... MermaidMer Relationship Health 12 09-20-2004 06:28 AM
    I don't know what to do solcita Relationship Health 12 07-06-2004 01:17 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:16 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!