It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 02-02-2005, 11:18 PM   #1
    JetHot
    Junior Member
     
    JetHot's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Posts: 21
    JetHot HB User
    I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    I love my girl friend to death and I would do anything for her, and she knows it. But we've always seemed to argue at least once a week. Now it seems to be like once a day. I'll get mad over the dumbest things, and I know its stupid but i'll do it anyways. Im not really sure whats wrong with me, I think im in some sort of depressed stage. Ive made myself clingy to her also, I feel like she is going to cheat on me, I feel like im not good enough for her.. I have all these feelings yet I still argue with her. Im not sure what kind of advice im looking for here, but I just know my girlfriend is very sensitive and I keep making her cry. I dont say anything harsh to her, I just make her feel bad, not purposely. I know I over react, but so does she.

    Another problem is ive been on steriods for awhile now. I know we argued quite a bit before i started. But i definetly see that we are arguing more now, I cant for sure blame it on the steriods for my exaggerated mood swings, cause im not violent or anything. I just want my girlfriend to be happy, but I have to be happy first.

    I guess this doesnt really make any since, but just typing this is making me feel alittle better.

    Thanks

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 02-02-2005, 11:33 PM   #2
    StormGirl
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    StormGirl's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2004
    Location: Australia!!
    Posts: 880
    StormGirl HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    Hi JetHot! I admire that you have admitted that you are at fault here. That's the first step, now it's time to sort yourself out so that you can stop behaving like this. Otherwise you will lose her, guaranteed.

    Why do you feel that you are not good enough for her? Why do you think she will cheat on you? Has she ever given you reason to think this way?

    The reason I ask is simply this. Many people who "feel" their partner will cheat unjustifiably make life so difficult for their partner, that you push them into the exact thing that you don't want to happen. Not saying that this will happen to you, but if you are constantly having a go at her, it must make her have her doubts about the relationship and must make her unhappy. If you really want her to be happy and feel committed to the relationship, treat her like a queen. Believe me, if you are always arguing with her and making her unhappy and she STILL sticks around, she must really love you.... so I don't think you would have to worry about her cheating or you not being good enough for her. SOMETHING must keep her with you.

    I'm not sure how you could sort out your issues. Perhaps stop seeing her as much and give yourself time alone to sort out the problems that you think are causing it - that way you will not always be arguing with her. Maybe even enlist professional help? Also, try and keep your own individual interests etc... if you are too clingy and rely on her for your happiness, I find that it can make people moody and more prone to argue. Be together but have outside interests as well.

    Good luck to you.
    __________________
    StormGirl
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

     
    Old 02-03-2005, 12:56 AM   #3
    hearttoheart
    Member
    (female)
     
    hearttoheart's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Posts: 69
    hearttoheart HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    And for the steroids...Quit! They are not good for you....do you really want to loose her because you care more about your looks? Steroids make people aggressive...You said your self that lately the argueing started on a daily basis...it's the steroids...They make you dangerous and unstable. Maybe you haven't hurted her yet, physical, but you sure seem to hurt her psychic. And no matter how nice you are, you might just hurt her physical some day. You are suddenly afraid that she will cheat on you, you puch her away, but want her to be around you 24/7...

    When did all of this appear? Always, or the day you started on the steroids?

    Think hard, cause those thing has ruined people before...And you have all the signs...

    For your own sake and you gf, quit those things now...before you get addicted. Stop the steroids, and take a small break from you gf. Give her some space, and for God's sake, do something nice for her.

    You are hurting and being mean to a girl that loves you. How can you live with your self if this continues?

    Next time you are being a ***, think of all the pain she feels...Her little heart bursting for each mean thing you say...and her slipping away from you more and more for each day...Until you are alone....

     
    Old 02-03-2005, 01:36 AM   #4
    StormGirl
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    StormGirl's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2004
    Location: Australia!!
    Posts: 880
    StormGirl HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    OH YEAH, that too. I'm not sure why you are using them, but if it is strictly for your physical appearance, stop it now. She doesn't deserve this and you will never be able to sort yourself out with that stuff wreaking havoc in your body...
    __________________
    StormGirl
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

     
    Old 02-03-2005, 06:18 AM   #5
    pcantona
    Veteran
    (male)
     
    pcantona's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2004
    Posts: 349
    pcantona HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    Yeah I agree with what the rest are posting here. The steroids has nothing to do with being violent to begin with or not. It does change you mentally, specially with mood swings. Violence only comes out of steroids users that has it to begin with. Meaning..it amplifies something that is already there that normally they can control. It just like like alcohol, some people get violent while drinking but some people do not and only get angry but do not hit anyone. But I agree, you may already have a rocky relationship to begin with, so you having more mood swings will certainly not make the relationship any better. Since you are in a sensetive hormonal state she might make you get even more mood swings due to provocation from her side as well. No matter if you are on steroids or not, the problem is with the relationship with her that you need to fix or get out of.

     
    Old 02-03-2005, 09:16 AM   #6
    JetHot
    Junior Member
     
    JetHot's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Posts: 21
    JetHot HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    I really appreciate all the advice, this is really the things i needed to hear. She loves me to death and I love her to death and I feel sorry for her for putting up with me. I talked to her eariler when she got to work. Had a nice little conversation and told her how sorry I was about how ive been acting.

    I dont have much time left to be on steriods but i know they are contributing to my emotions. I do feel different mentally because of them, and knowing that steriods are affecting my relationship is a good enough reason for me to stop now. Last week she told mes taking off work friday so we can go out and do stuff. Not really sure where Im going to take her but i'll try to think of something nice. Any ideas?

    Thanks again for everything you guys/girls!

     
    Old 02-03-2005, 10:45 AM   #7
    Gundam
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Sep 2004
    Posts: 294
    Gundam HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    I'm experiencing something completely opposite ... my GF is constantly in a bad mood & stressed out every morning, because of her work, & she hates her job, although making pretty good money ... we talk every morning on the phone while driving to work; & she would pick the smallest things to argue about ... I always, would only try to give advices & try to be helpful ... & she would even say things like "Hey if you can't help then don't even say anything" or "now you know I'm a nasty person, then stop seeing me then ... you don't have to deal with me" .... these things are like the nastiest things that people had said to me for the last 5 years.

    I don't know if a lot of people read my previous threads about this GF of mine. This girl can say some very mean things but she wouldn't really mean any of it. She's just completely stressed out & lost ... I even said to her "when you are grumpy, you are just full of sh_t" ... & she agrees ... haha Of course I know that it's unfair for me ... why the hell do I have to put up with this cr_p ... ??!! But then I do ... because I luv her. I see the inner quality inside her. She's mean to me because she needs to vent her stress out & I'm the closest person to her so she vents it out onto me. Everybody has emotions & ups & downs ... to have some1 close to you during your downtime is the most beautiful thing you can hope for. So 1st thing to do is to appreciate your girlfriend, then appreciate yourself just because you have a GF staying with you even you guys argue all the time .... & appreciate yourself also because you have the heart to love her as much as you do now.

    I'm making a short story long here, but talk to your GF. Make sure that she knows you love her & the fact that because you love her & she's the closest person you have ... so sometimes you pick things to argue about ... because you need the attention ...

    However I'm not saying that it's right for you to behave this way ... I'm only saying that I understand the reasons ... she doesn't deserve to be treated badly just because you need attention ... I don't know what you have done but making a girl cry is already a very bad thing for a man to do. Stop it. If you say you love her to death then do it, show it, prove it. Everytime you wanna pick some stupid things to argue with her, just try to remember what you said on your thread today about "loving her to death" ... you'll know what to do ...

    & finally .... why do you take steriods ??

    Last edited by Gundam; 02-03-2005 at 10:47 AM.

     
    Old 02-03-2005, 10:34 PM   #8
    JetHot
    Junior Member
     
    JetHot's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Posts: 21
    JetHot HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    Well we got into 1 argument today, which i guess is better than usuall. It started off good and just talking but she thought I was being "snappy" with her and she said "Well bite my head off" and walked into my room. I walked into my room and was like "whats wrong? whats wrong?" all she would do is shake her head and not talk to me. So i said something like "fine whatever" then she mocks me saying the same thing in a rude way. And thats when the fighting started. I tried telling her i wasnt being snappy with her but she was like ya you were, blah blah blah.

    This argument was absolutly stupid, i know it wasnt my fault either. I told her i was sorry anyways... Things arnt going to get better unless she helps too.

    After this argument we came to a little compromise, so we'll see how things go. Its going to take some time.

    And finally, yes I was taking steriods for strictly my looks. And even though I have 2 weeks left of steriods im supposed to take, i stopped today. My girlfriend was very happy when i told her that.

     
    Old 02-04-2005, 12:02 AM   #9
    StormGirl
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    StormGirl's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2004
    Location: Australia!!
    Posts: 880
    StormGirl HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    Good stuff JetHot. It's good to see that you are making an effort, and I'm sure your girlfriend will really appreciate it.

    Just keep working on sorting stuff out and trying not to argue (you have to learn to pick your battles... and don't sweat the small stuff - as advised to me from Goody - love your work).

    Good luck to you and keep us updated on how you are going.
    __________________
    StormGirl
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

     
    Old 02-04-2005, 01:55 AM   #10
    hearttoheart
    Member
    (female)
     
    hearttoheart's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Posts: 69
    hearttoheart HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    Just be patient....This will take some time...I bet she is a bit angry at you, cause you have caused her so much pain. Just beacause you are ready to change and stop the steroids, doesn't mean that all is fixed. This will take months. She has to see that you are really taking efforts in changing...and to be honest. If she feels like you are biting her head off....Maybe you are. You know...Even though you have stopped taking steroids, it doesn't mean that you are "normal" again....it takes time for the steroids to get out of you system.

    You have alot of trust building too do with your gf. She needs to know that you are working hard to become the man that you once were. Not only a phase, and after a couple of days you go back to being an *** with her....

    Man, you deserve that she's a bit bitchy with you, after all you made her go through. Stop going into defense everytime you talk...just be humble and say sorry if she is feeling that you are aggressive...

    And don't get to deep everytime you decide to chat...Take her out to dinner, a movie etc. Take a weekend somewhere and just relax together. Sometimes these things make you see one another in a completely different way...


     
    Old 02-08-2005, 09:53 AM   #11
    JetHot
    Junior Member
     
    JetHot's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Posts: 21
    JetHot HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    Well things are improving slightly, i defiently know this will take some time to get our relationship back to a point where it once was. I did take her downtown friday night for a nice dinner. Then we went out again saturday night. I still have a problem of sweating the little things, im not sure if I will ever get over that, I would really like to though. I tend to ponder on things that sit with me very well, and when i just sit there and think about it i feel worse and worse. Why cant I stop sweating the small things?

    I know im trying to improve my relationship, thanks for everyones helpful advice

     
    Old 02-08-2005, 11:29 AM   #12
    Random2
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Jan 2004
    Posts: 1,003
    Random2 HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    My girlfriend & I go through the same thing. We have been together for 2 years & have lived together for 1 1/2. She tells me that I am clingy as well. I take 2-3 Xanax a day as well. I tend to focus on whether she wants to be with me forever & it drives her up the wall when I bring it up all of the time. My best advice would be to give her some space & have a good time with her. If she didn't want to be with you, she wouldn't. Focus on the good things. I should take my own advice.

     
    Old 02-08-2005, 08:54 PM   #13
    JetHot
    Junior Member
     
    JetHot's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Posts: 21
    JetHot HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lillians Axe
    My girlfriend & I go through the same thing. We have been together for 2 years & have lived together for 1 1/2. She tells me that I am clingy as well. I take 2-3 Xanax a day as well. I tend to focus on whether she wants to be with me forever & it drives her up the wall when I bring it up all of the time. My best advice would be to give her some space & have a good time with her. If she didn't want to be with you, she wouldn't. Focus on the good things. I should take my own advice.
    Exactly how I feel. I dont have a doubt in my mind she about her. I know she loves me to death and I know she would never hurt me. I know this! But all it takes is one simple thing and i'll start questioning her. She DEFINETLY knows im trying to improve even when i say something ****** she will totally blow it off. I think to myself; wow this girl loves me so ****ing much yet I treat her like **** sometimes. Tonight I told her i cant believe why she puts up with my ****, all she had to say is "what ****?" with a smile on her face, followed by a "I love you"

    She is also VERY flirty, she says shes just friendly and likes to mingle. I know shes always been like this ever see Ive known her. She loves to talk and all my friends think she is very cool. I know she wont ever cheat on me, even though i still think it.

    One day I hope to make this girl the happiest girl in the world, but I have SOOO much improving to do. Its like I'll never get to the point where i want. But i hope I do. This girl is my soul mate, we are meant to be.

    Last edited by JetHot; 02-08-2005 at 08:57 PM.

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 07:26 AM   #14
    Random2
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Jan 2004
    Posts: 1,003
    Random2 HB User
    Re: I cant stop arguing with my girlfriend.. and its usually my fault

    Trust me. Have fun with her this weekend. Don't dwell on little issues or the negatives. It really annoys my g/f. I am trying really hard to do nice things for her & just drop the little things. I really need to take my own advice.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Quarter life Crises--Cant figure out what job to do, 26 yrs old living with parents! Mr.G Depression 6 10-07-2008 01:03 AM
    how to stop arguing with my girlfriend cash009 Relationship Health 4 01-14-2008 08:56 AM
    I am a failure. I cant help myself. I need advice on what I should do.. ilikekimchee Mental Health 7 08-24-2007 10:20 AM
    I cant tell. Do i want to be with my girlfriend, or not. MrZeely Relationship Health 39 08-06-2007 03:30 PM
    I Need To Talk! I Cant Stop Thinking About Him! ali_juarez09 Teen Health 18 07-19-2007 12:45 PM
    So i messed up big time. I feel horrible, but i cant stop thinking. MrZeely Relationship Health 8 03-28-2007 10:33 PM
    Why cant i be normal??? be yourself Relationship Health 3 09-25-2005 06:24 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:44 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!