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    Old 02-10-2005, 08:43 AM   #16
    goody2shuz
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ruth6:11
    It's hard to have a friend (and yours is on such a rather metaphysical level) in a situation like yours. I think you've done a great thing by letting her know that you're there for her, but have not enabled her either.
    Exactly, Ruth I can't tell you how much I have wanted to write out a check each month to take away some of the financial pressures for her. But like you said, I see that as only a way for things remaining the same rather than a way of seeing that they change. Actually, my husband had to sell his family business, while he got a pretty penny for it, still it is only about 6-7 years worth of his salary and we still have lots ahead for us. So we need to make sure we don't overdo things...but still my husband has a side job which brings in something....the security is still there and my heart aches for my friend that she is faced on a daily basis with the worry of what the future will hold for her & her son. It is my intention to continue to make sure that when she has vacation time that once in a while that they can come spend some time with us....her husband is always invited as well but ironically enough..the times I have had her for a visit, he was just starting a new job and had no vacation time.

    Perhaps you're right that he was trying to get some financial help...in fact I found myself waiting for that question but it never came...I was too busy in my gentle but stern way telling him that what his wife needed the most from him at this time was to see him get a job, any job even if it was working around this so called job of his that is not bringing in a paycheck....even if it meant eating dinner and going out and working an evening shift just to bring in a few hundred dollars a week......over a month it would be $800 more than he was bringing in now. That's when the conversation ended and GirlHarvey may be right in the sense that his intentions were probably to get me on board with his thinking so he could continue to live in the SECURE lifestyle he has had for the past 19 years. My friend is right.....if she were to follow through with her ultimatum, having him leave if he doesn't come through with money in the next week or so, that he would at least see that he would have to get a job in order to support himself

    I guess this all boils down to the same concept of not enabling a person to be a certain way....and I pray that my friend follows through with her plan in order to get at least some of her dignity back. IT'S NOT MY PLACE TO TELL HER, but if she comes up with the plan herself I'm behind her 100%. Thanks girls for the insight....I'm feeling better and please keep my friend in your prayers. I really feel that's what she needs the most right about now.....Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 02-10-2005 at 08:47 AM.

     
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    Old 02-10-2005, 09:37 AM   #17
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    ....she stuck by my side not telling me what to do, but just letting me know that she was there no matter what. And I intend to do the same for her.
    There are many tight ropes in situations like this. I think you have chosen the right one. I expected nothing less. Once you are on the rope, you will experience some fears and self-doubt. Keep your focus on your goal until you reach it. As God once helped me say the right things to you; He will help you say the right things to your friend. So like a real tightrope walker, take each step with confidence and faith.

    Quote:
    I see it as my part time job in which I am doing something I enjoy trying not to allow it to interfere with the things I hold dearest to my heart...my family. To me it is another way to serve God...by helping others in their time of need. . . . . . .But you are right...it can be addictive and it does have me at times falling behind on the laundry But laundry will always be there....helping others I see as being so much more important
    For everything there is a season and this is your season to post. I have pictured how you balance family and posting exactly as you described it. However, think about the time when your girls have moved away from home so it is just Tom and you. Then you will be in a situation like mine. If you let posting fill most of the void left by the girls leaving, your life will become too virtual to be healthy Ė like mine has become. I will write to Nini about this because I think we share a common problem. Maybe that is why I am so attracted to her story.

    I really have learned a lot from you, Goody. Somehow, Iíve felt that God would tell me when my posting season would be over through you. I think this thread is that sign. With this thread, I think we have come full circle; we have helped each other. You see, I can relate to your friendís husband. I am an idealist and a perfectionist, too, but to a lesser degree. While those traits feed my romantic side, they also make real life a constant battle for me. As a Libra, I struggle for balance while being gently encouraged by my Leo wife. Yesterday, another Leo nudged me. For balance, I need more real people in my life on a daily basis. A career change is needed for several reasons; unfortunately there is no board here to discuss that topic.

    Yesterday was hell for me. All day long, I was missing my friends from the boards Ė badly! I gave up pipe smoking many years ago; that wasnít too hard. I can take or leave drinking. But not checking the boards during the day was oh sooo hard for me. Itís an interactive soap opera/reality show that is truly addictive because it fills a void in my real life. After supper, I came here right away; staying with only short breaks until after my wife went to bed. As she went to bed, her glare said it all. It hit me like a lightening bolt; either I change or else! After a bad nightís sleep, I decided to give myself another week or so as a Relationships Board regular to tend to unfinished business. When I told my wife this morning, she smiled and kissed me. Itís time to be a man, step up to the plate and embrace change. If only it didnít involve leaving my virtual friends behind. I wish there was a patch for leaving oneís comfort zone.


    Lisa, nature abhors a vacuum. When Eightball left, I thought the void would be horrible; for a few days, it was. I still miss Jeff and his wisdom but you, Stormgirl and others jumped in and have made this board a wonderful place again. Right now, there is someone in the wings who will step forward when they realize a post has sat too long without a reply. That is the call of the boards. Hopefully, a few people will miss me a bit but fresh blood is what makes this board great. Lisa, you greatly underestimate your value here. I hope you step up like Goody did and continue to go with your instincts. You have the time, talent and heart to be a true cornerstone here.

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 10:21 AM   #18
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    You see Heartland, if you keep talking like that, I'm really not gonna let you leave us!!
    (I've spent more of my days being called 'too sensitive' and the likes of that, rather than thoughtful, so I appreciate your words.)

    But I understand, whether I like it or not. At least you are giving us a proper goodbye (though I was more of a reader in his days, I still don't know what ever happened to eightball!), so thanks for that. You will be missed here by many, including myself.
    I know, it can get addictive here, so I understand if you must leave us altogether, but I will hold a glimmer of hope that you may just check in now and again. If I may, I would like to thank you for that which you have given to many here.

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 10:32 AM   #19
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    As God once helped me say the right things to you; He will help you say the right things to your friend. So like a real tightrope walker, take each step with confidence and faith.
    Thanks for reminding me of what is already written on my heart, Heartland


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    ....think about the time when your girls have moved away from home so it is just Tom and you. Then you will be in a situation like mine. If you let posting fill most of the void left by the girls leaving, your life will become too virtual to be healthy Ė like mine has become.
    I can see what you are saying here and to some extent these boards do fill a void in my life that I miss....but yet balance out with my life as it is right now. In the future I can definitely see it not a healthy way to be and taking away from my real world experiences.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    I really have learned a lot from you, Goody. Somehow, Iíve felt that God would tell me when my posting season would be over through you. I think this thread is that sign. With this thread, I think we have come full circle; we have helped each other. You see, I can relate to your friendís husband. I am an idealist and a perfectionist, too, but to a lesser degree. While those traits feed my romantic side, they also make real life a constant battle for me. As a Libra, I struggle for balance while being gently encouraged by my Leo wife. Yesterday, another Leo nudged me. For balance, I need more real people in my life on a daily basis. A career change is needed for several reasons; unfortunately there is no board here to discuss that topic.
    Oh, Heartland the signs that God puts in our lives are not ones to be questioned...He truly put you here for me in my greatest time of need...when Tom and I put our shields down and reach that deep foundation we thought we once had lost and you helped us to rediscover....it is you I will think of as providing the support of being able to do so. And when a diamond commercial comes on or I watch the Wizard of Oz with my grandkids in the future....I will tell them that I once met my lion in real life And he helped me travel the yellow brick road to find my way back home.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Yesterday was hell for me. All day long, I was missing my friends from the boards Ė badly! I gave up pipe smoking many years ago; that wasnít too hard. I can take or leave drinking. But not checking the boards during the day was oh sooo hard for me. Itís an interactive soap opera/reality show that is truly addictive because it fills a void in my real life. After supper, I came here right away; staying with only short breaks until after my wife went to bed. As she went to bed, her glare said it all. It hit me like a lightening bolt; either I change or else! After a bad nightís sleep, I decided to give myself another week or so as a Relationships Board regular to tend to unfinished business. When I told my wife this morning, she smiled and kissed me. Itís time to be a man, step up to the plate and embrace change. If only it didnít involve leaving my virtual friends behind. I wish there was a patch for leaving oneís comfort zone.
    Heartland....as you get yourself back into the real world you are bound to meet the Goody's, Nini's, Eightballs and many others that you cherish on these boards. And I will envy these real people for having the privelege of meeting the real you.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    When Eightball left, I thought the void would be horrible; for a few days, it was. I still miss Jeff and his wisdom but you, Stormgirl and others jumped in ancts. You have the time, talent and heart to be a true cornerstone here.
    That's the real beauty of these boards...yes as you said this is my season but my season will also come to pass and it's great to know that there are so many beautiful people who are to follow that will do the same to keep holding their virtual friend's hands in their time of need.

    Heartland.....this LEO is going to miss you like crazy and I will most likely be on these boards moreso this week to spend as much time with you before you hit the real world. I just want to say that although I may not see you here that you have somehow found a pernmanent place in Goody's heart Thanks, my forever friend.....Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 02-10-2005 at 10:35 AM.

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 12:30 PM   #20
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Lisa, I do hope to check in now and again but it will never be the same. I think EG and you will find that special someone but I worry about Nini. Donít let her accept life without love; she needs believe that she deserves love. Lisa, I love your unique perspectives and gentle manner. Remember, we canít always be right but we can always offer our perspective. Itís up to the recipient to decide what will work in their situation. Finally, when it hits the fan, DUCK!!!


    Goody, I think our board names were my first clue that we would be friends forever. They both symbolize the simple but honest, under-the-radar advice we choose to dispense. Dorothy, I will miss you like crazy, too. (PssstÖIím the tin man, remember? How quickly they forgetÖ) I value the time you share with me - extra time is a wonderful gift . The diamond commercial and the Wizard of Oz will forever remind me of you, too.

    When you said Tom was shocked last week because you laughed so hard at my post, I felt guilty. My wife would be very upset under similar circumstances. Tom must be very, very special. You deserve no less, my dear friend. -Heartland

    Last edited by heartlandguy; 02-10-2005 at 08:46 PM.

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 12:46 PM   #21
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Lisa, I do hope to check in now and again but it will never be the same. I think EG and you will find that special someone but I worry about Nini. Donít let her accept life without love; she needs believe that she deserves love. Lisa, I love your unique perspectives and gentle manner. Remember, we canít always be right but we can always offer our perspective. Itís up to the recipient to decide what will work in their situation. Finally, when it hits the fan, DUCK!!!
    HLG, just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of "we'll miss you." Hope you won't stay away too long or too much, but "real" life must take the precidence it must. But don't worry about me. I don't know if I do or don't deserve love, or even if love is something one "deserves", earns, learns, works for, or just falls into. But I know my life will turn out the way God wills it to.

    Take care, thank you for all your wonderful advice and support, and hope to hear from you again someday!

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 01:00 PM   #22
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Goody, I think our board names were my first clue that we would be friends forever. They both symbolize the simple but honest, under-the-radar advice we choose to dispense. Dorothy, I will miss you like crazy, too. (PssstÖIím the tin man, remember? How quickly they forgetÖ) Your time here is most precious - what a wonderful gift. The diamond commercial and the Wizard of Oz will forever remind me of you, too.
    Heartland...you see, I'm gonna have a difficult time here without you around to keep Goody on her toes. You're absolutely right....the "Golly, geez..." had me thinking Lion but it's your heart that had me thinking of you as my tinman. My dynamic duo....I know Jeff is out there....he didn't like being the lion, he wanted to be toto. But our journey together is something I will always remember as well as cherish.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    When you said Tom was shocked last week because you laughed so hard at my post, I felt guilty. My wife would be very upset under similar circumstances. Tom must be very, very special. You deserve no less, my dear friend. -Heartland
    Your wife is lucky to have you as you are to have her. She just doesn't want to deny the real world of the gifts you share so easily here...she wants to be part of that ideal and wonderful guy that you are, is all. Please if there ever comes a time that she wouldn't find it to be upsetting....thank her for allowing you the season to be there for Goody to help me through my darkest hour....if it weren't for you and others here, who knows, Tom and I may have been living separate lives. I would still be feeling unloved and alone...now there is so much to look forward to in that vision you allowed us to see. Yes, Tom is a very special guy and thanks for allowing me to see that.

    Heartland....when you go out into the real world, show them what you are here and many lives shall be blessed. You would be a terrific counselor if you are looking for a career change...and I really mean that. I can see you volunteering in that capacity.....but I have a feeling that your teenage grandchildren are going to need your love and guidance.....the "meanager" years are not too far away....and your daughter is going to need you the most she has ever in her entire life

    Yes...your wife is more intelligent than you may think...your needed more in real life than you may give yourself credit for. And, you too, Heartland are a lucky guy ....Goody

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 01:21 PM   #23
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    WHAT?? Heartland is leaving? What did I miss? I skip the board for ONE day, and look what's happening! Allright Heartland, I will give you my blessing for the road for now, but if you stay away for too long, this Wicked Witch of the West might be forced to use her magic wand to draw you back to the Enchanted Booooooards! Have fun in the REAL world, Heartlandguy!

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 08:57 PM   #24
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Goody, you are such a blessing to so many people here, especially on the boards involving the healing arts. But are you sure you got the words right for Leaving on a Jet Plane? Peter, Paul and Mary's lyrics were certainly different!

     
    Old 02-11-2005, 05:39 AM   #25
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Goody, you are such a blessing to so many people here, especially on the boards involving the healing arts. But are you sure you got the words right for Leaving on a Jet Plane? Peter, Paul and Mary's lyrics were certainly different!
    You see, Heartland, we do have lots in common. That's where it all began for me....I came here originally seeking health advice and comfort prior to some major surgery.....some 10 months ago. I decided since so many were there for me that I would take on the role for others that found themselves in Goody's shoes I had a thread that somehow got wiped out......it went on for over 7 months....we picked it right back up and it continues on. Yes...that's where it all began for Goody and it really feels good when complete strangers can pull together and erase the anxiety that we commonly feel when going into surgery. Or here....sharing our experiences in life to make the broken hearts mend.

    As far as Leaving on a Jetplane....music and lyrics have a funny way of reaching people.....even when they're the wrong ones

    Well....today is the day for me to check in with my friend....it is her day off and she does have plans to go to the movies with a friend..so I'm hoping to catch her before she leaves. She's in the midwest & sometimes there's a time difference of an hour but I believe we're now on the same time. Hey.....Heartland, I don't even know what state you're in??? I'm guessing somewhere on the East coast, although your username may suggest the midwest. As you know I'm a New Yorker.....born and raised here all my life by the water. Water...the symbol of life and what brought Tom & I together. We love boating & jetskiing although Goody no longer does that I thoroughly enjoy watching the girls.

    Heartland....I didn't realize that this thread would end up being the sign that your season here would come to an end. Believe me, we both share in knowing that God has a funny way of presenting them and we have both been blessed with being an instrument of delivering them, but I can't help but feel a little distressed that I had to be that instrument that would have your season here coming to an end. I do not question God's plans for us, and I am sure He has wonderful ones for both of us....but what I guess is most important is that we are wise enough to listen and follow.

    So....you can see yourself as I describe my friend's husband. He is a very charismatic guy....he dedicates most of his time to helping others.....he already talks on a Christian program and has worked in the Chamber of Commerce. His goal is to have his own Christian program on Cable TV and his salary funded by sponsors so that he can do what he truly loves to do. I can honestly see him doing this and he will be great at it....he just has to see that in the interim he has to do other things to provide for his family while at the same time pursuing his dream. He needs to balance and not lose sight of the stepping stones in life that will get him there. Yes...my friend and I have often laughed together at his tunnel vision....we have no doubt that he will get there but in the meantime he needs to be there for his wife and son who have supported him in his dreams for so long but as a family are in great debt. The ultimatum my friend will give him may put that firecracker up his butt to get him to see that by working a job he won't be giving up his dream......just making sure he still has a way of getting there.

    Well...Goody has lots going on, my daughter has her Junior prom and a date with a new guy we have yet to meet. At a Superbowl party they both discovered in a group of friends that they didn't have dates and he suggested that they go together. So I've been informed that I must order a boutenoir (?sp) and make a hair appointment. Her nails are done, dress is bought, matching shoes......mom thought she'd look for a purse and shawl to accessorize. The affair is tomorrow with lots left to do. See, Heartland.....real life is still here and nothing beats living it. You're doing the right thing....there are times that I find myself here more than I should be but I never forget that it's real life that holds the real hapiness in our lives. (At least that's what I'm reminded of daily when the girls fly in the door ) Here, on the boards, it's the gravy whether it's a season or a stepping stone in our lives to where we are truly meant to be. God is leading you to your vision in life....the one you shared with me not too long ago that you see for you and Mrs. Heartland, and I have a feeling that it is going to turn out to be even more than you first invisioned it to be. It's a wonderful vision and one that I am certain you will reach...don't give up on your dreams, Heartland. if anyone can make them come true it'll be YOU......Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 02-19-2005 at 09:28 AM.

     
    Old 02-11-2005, 07:35 AM   #26
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Goody, I didnít make it very clear yesterday but I treasure the thought of you making extra time available here during my final days as a regular. I feel like a large part of my heart is dying as I back away from what I love to do here. The best gift we can offer a dying person is our time in their final hours and your gesture is very touching. Just so I donít confuse anyone with my metaphor, Iím in very good health and physically feel great. Exercise has made huge improvements in my quality of life. Physically, I feel like Iím 30 again.

    I don't even know what state you're in???
    Iím a proud Nebraskan so I live relatively close to Nini. However, if you expect me to know much about agriculture, you would be wrong; my degree is in science.

    I can't help but feel a little distressed that I had to be that instrument that would have your season here coming to an end.
    You feel like I felt when I knew I was losing Dorothy. We have liberated each other from our demons and I will always have very fond memories of you. If I believed in reincarnation, I would swear we knew each other in a previous life.

    you can see yourself as I describe my friend's husband.
    For idealists like me, romance comes easily because love is pure and idealistic. Business and politics are not pure and idealistic; theyíre games. While my Libra nature lets me be comfortable with business and politics, I donít actually enjoy them like many people do.
    He needs to balance and not lose sight of the stepping stones in life that will get him there. Yes...my friend and I have often laughed together at his tunnel vision.
    My wife can relate to you two here. My wife is a saint. A lesser woman would have left me years ago. I think we understand and tolerate each otherís weaknesses better than most couples. Your friend is obviously very tolerant, too. There must be something sexy about being an idealist.
    by working a job he won't be giving up his dream......just making sure he still has a way of getting there.
    Likewise, I now realize that there must be a step between where I am at and my dream. I must clearly define that step and see it as part of my journey to my desired destination.

    Ödon't give up on your dreams, Heartland. if anyone can make them come true it'll be YOU.
    I think so, too, thanks to a little help from my friends. What would you think if I sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?

     
    Old 02-11-2005, 08:18 AM   #27
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Goody, I didnít make it very clear yesterday but I treasure the thought of you making extra time available here during my final days as a regular. I feel like a large part of my heart is dying as I back away from what I love to do here. The best gift we can offer a dying person is our time in their final hours and your gesture is very touching.
    Must be the nurse in me. I was really big on believeing that no one should leave feeling alone. And so, the gesture is the same when it comes to your leaving here

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Iím a proud Nebraskan so I live relatively close to Nini. However, if you expect me to know much about agriculture, you would be wrong; my degree is in science.
    My first real Nebraskan friend....Goody feels honored!!! And who knows...once you hit the real world with Mrs. Heart, you may walk into a friendly beer joint and see the beautiful olive skinned woman singin one of our road trip tunes with a guy in the quddience with the most adoring grin who just can't keep his eyes off of the singer...and you'll just know it's Nini


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    You feel like I felt when I knew I was losing Dorothy. We have liberated each other from our demons and I will always have very fond memories of you. If I believed in reincarnation, I would swear we knew each other in a previous life.
    Ditto..Heartland. Just goes to show how God keeps His promise of letting us know that we are not alone and that He is here in the people He places in our lives to help us through those difficult times


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    For idealists like me, romance comes easily because love is pure and idealistic. Business and politics are not pure and idealistic; theyíre games. While my Libra nature lets me be comfortable with business and politics, I donít actually enjoy them like many people do.
    Always remember...that this is not in anyway a bad way to think and live....it just has to be balanced with reality and what's practical in our lives. Don't ever lose these values, Heartland...they are truly what makes you the unique person that you are and that I as well as many others here, have grown to love. The people in the real world will be drawn to this part of you as well.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    My wife can relate to you two here. My wife is a saint. A lesser woman would have left me years ago. I think we understand and tolerate each otherís weaknesses better than most couples. Your friend is obviously very tolerant, too. There must be something sexy about being an idealist.
    Your wife is a smart woman and knew not to give up on someone who possesses such fine qualities. It is sometimes the part of someone that they see as their weakness, that we love most about that person. I know the things that keep Tom busy in terms of his sense of adventure that can be time consuming are the very things that made me fall in love with him in the first place.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Likewise, I now realize that there must be a step between where I am at and my dream. I must clearly define that step and see it as part of my journey to my desired destination.
    And Goody has faith that you truly will

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartland
    Ödon't give up on your dreams, Heartland. if anyone can make them come true it'll be YOU.
    I think so, too, thanks to a little help from my friends. What would you think if I sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?
    You'll get by with a little help from your friends....yeah we'll get by with a little help from our friends ....Goody

     
    Old 02-11-2005, 02:19 PM   #28
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Just a little update....I called my friend today as I had promised but just missed her as she had just stepped out to a movie. Her husband answered and I took the opportunity to smooth out any wrinkles that may have occurred when he had called me the other day. I really said some things that were normally quite risky for me to say and the conversation ended a little bit strained. So I brought that up, saying that I hoped that he didn't take anything that I had said in our phone conversation badly...that I loved both him and my friend and as their maid of honor felt an obligation to say some of the things I did in order for their marriage to survive the financial hardships they were facing. I also reassured him that I believed in the sanctity of marriage and any advice I would give him or my friend would be to do all that is possible in order to preserve it. He went on again about how in time he will be making money and I told him that his wife was tired of hearing this and that if he didn't come up with a paycheck of some sort with in the next week that she may be asking him to leave (my friend says that she has hinted towards this already with him so it wasn't as if I was saying something he hasn't heard before) I asked him what would be the harm in working 1-2 nights a week to give his wife a definite sense of security knowing that some money on his part would be coming in...just until his plans got off the ground. He said that there wasn't anyplace that would hire somebody for so few hours. I shared with him how my daughter was working a job 1-2 times a week putting in about 10-12 hours and making over $100 a week. He made some more excuses and went on to say he would be meeting with a client and only had an hour to prepare himself and needed to go. I feel as if things were smoothed out and ended up telling him that I would pray that things went well with his meeting as he expected to get his first job in what he's starting to set up in video/Cd productions. I also got the chance to tell him how I truly believed that one day that he would achieve what he wanted to do in his life and would proud of him as his wife would be but in the interim working another job would alleviate the financial problems and only be a stepping stone, something temporarily needed until he got there. He seemed to go through the motions of listening but whether it got through is another matter. So.....I really felt at least I releived myself as a threat to him and perhaps if I was lucky, helped in someway. We'll see....Goody

     
    Old 02-13-2005, 11:23 AM   #29
    heartlandguy
    Senior Veteran
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    Location: Nebraska
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    heartlandguy HB User
    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Thanks for the update, Goody. You've done all you can for now. I wish I could help...

    Your friend is lucky to have a friend of your caliber.

     
    Old 02-14-2005, 07:44 PM   #30
    goody2shuz
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    Join Date: May 2004
    Location: New York
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    goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Thanks for the update, Goody. You've done all you can for now. I wish I could help...

    Your friend is lucky to have a friend of your caliber.

    Heartland......just your faith in me helps Which leads me to respond to one of your posts.........


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Revealing a weakness at the right moment makes a person very approachable and open to a special bond. When the other person can complement that weakness with a strength, it alters oneís life. I have been privileged to experience life altering changes with two women.

    The first involved a beautiful blond-haired, blue-eyed coed who was busy dating the field. I met her just after I realized my own self-worth. For three months, things progressed slowly but steadily between the two cynics. Then one school night I received a call from her, crying about a family tragedy. I was amazed she picked me in her hour of need. We talked most the night and I finally felt very close to her. Within days I knew she felt the same way. Things progressed quickly and I am truly blessed to call this wonderful woman my wife of 30+ years. We remain as close as on that sad but special night.

    The second parallels the first in a surprising number of ways. It happened on this board and itís led to a life altering friendship. Several of us were helping her on her marriage thread when one day her post included three words Iíll never forget, ďI'm scared HeartlandĒ. Thatís not a call for the normal advice and support dispensed here. Somehow she got through that dark hour. With the help of many wonderful people here, her marriage is back on track. That dark hour was the beginning of an unexpected but very uplifting friendship that Iíll never forget. She shares her values and caring ways here with so many and, mainly by example, has reminded me in a variety of ways of how precious my married life is. What better qualities could a man hope for in a female friend? Thank you so much, Goody, for just being you.
    Heartland......how can one respond to such a loving description of a life altering experience that I see as vividly as you???? We both hold the same belief that God places people in our lives as a reminder to us that He is always with us.....even in our darkest hours. It seems like ions ago that I posted those words that you so devotedly responded to. I trusted that you would hold my hand while walking through one of the scariest roads of my life.....and you raised me up above my fears and showed me the way home I guess it seems so long ago because I feel as if I have experienced such personal growth over the past few months. And I owe it mostly to you and your patience and determination in seeing me through. You haven't lost Dorothy.....and my tinman will always be around because just as we seein the movie when Dorothy finally makes her way home...the tinman ends up being somebody she has known and trusted all of her life. And it will always be that way with you and I, Heartland. We're backome, Heartland....after coming full circle and living our real lives knowing that we'll always be a part of each other's lives so long as we keep on living them.

    I know that as you make your career choices, that you will be good at whatever it is you choose to do. And I know that I will always consider myself blessed to have crossed pathes with you in life. I truly believe that the reflection of your image is etched on my heart that will be recognizable when we finally do meet our Maker.

    My thread asks...what's a friend to do??? You answer it with your own words....your friend is lucky to have a friend of your caliber.....who will forever be your friend.........Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 02-14-2005 at 07:49 PM.

     
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