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-   -   What's a Friend to Do? (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/relationship-health/251320-whats-friend-do.html)

heartlandguy 02-16-2005 09:42 AM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
GOODY, I WROTE THIS WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO READ YOUR LAST POST YET.

[QUOTE=goody2shuz]Why I was able to trust you probably goes back to your inviting Tom to be a part of the thread. Up to this point I had painted a not so pretty picture of Tom as a husband. And yet you reached out and wished to include him in my thread in order to genuinely help us. That gesture as well as your ability to be nonjudgemental played a big role in my being able to trust you. And when you saw me as Dorothy back in Kansas telling everybody how special a role each plays in her life.(pg 15)...you showed me my strengths that I had forgotten about and gave me back my wings to fly And i have been soaring ever since[/QUOTE]Goody, last night I felt pretty melancholy. My wife was out with her friends and the boards weren’t registering new posts on old threads… so I felt really lonely – and pathetic. To top it off, I realized that I had run out of new ways to tell you goodbye. Then I realized how pathetic that was. I truly felt out of the loop. I felt dead here and I wasn’t even gone. Can anyone be triple-pathetic?

It’s morning and I’m feeling much better now. My first thought was how will I be able to move on to bigger and better things if I feel like a piece of crap? Wow, that didn’t even sound like me but it did sound familiar. Argh! I’m becoming like Nini. :eek: So I quickly switched to thinking about the most positive thinking person I know… a Mrs. Twoshuz. {{I think we’ve had pretty idealized notions of each other but that’s how I want to remember you. In my mind, Dorothy will always be a heroine’s heroine.}} When I read recently what activities osteoarthritis has taken from you, I was really touched. You have a gift for ignoring what you can’t do and embracing all that is good. You truly [u]deserve[/u] the name Goody and that IS how I will remember you. {{hug}} I know if you could, you would crash out through my monitor, grab an old witch’s broom from God knows where and whack me with it, screaming “Heartland, snap out of it!” until I came to my senses. Since you couldn’t do that, I did and I’m feeling much better. So no more goodbyes are needed here, lest I regress. But before I get back to your comments on trust and Nini, I want to explain how I see you through the boards.

The power of these boards is that they strip our physical senses from us. Many first impressions and prejudices are triggered by our senses and there is none of that here. Here, we “see” only one’s thoughts. It’s like seeing the negative of a photograph. If only the real world could be so pure. Goody, my wife and you are so alike it scares me sometimes. :eek: The Leo in each of you that is so evident only strengthens that thought. My wife is the photograph and you are the negative. She is the front side of the moon and you are the backside. It’s a great vantage point for me. ;) Over time, I’ve learned to better understand what she’s REALLY thinking when she says or does something. That has been your biggest value on my marriage. Are Tom’s and my personalities similar enough to help you likewise?

When I first saw your comments in how I gained your trust, I was discouraged because I thought my theory was wrong. Now I realize the theory was basically right but oversimplified. It was missing the ever present need for baby steps. Before you could trust me, you put me on a yellow brick road. ;) By treating each of your doubts or concerns as a baby step, I made it to my Oz and did [u]earn[/u] your confidence. The important thing for me to realize is that earning your confidence seemed natural, comfortable and easy to me. I have always expected that earning one’s confidence would be much more difficult than that. Thanks, Goody, for making my thoughts on earning trust more realistic.

This morning, I gained a new appreciation for Nini’s predicament. Yesterday, she “foolishly” ;) said that she enjoyed my perspective. Those words will come to haunt her. :) I always like to kill two birds with one stone whenever possible. I finally realize that I can continue to help Nini even though I won’t be a regular poster here and she could help me as well. I will write the details about this on her thread but here’s a quick summary. Since progress seems to occur slowly for her, I will check in every couple of weeks and review her active thread(s). I’m sure that will give me a different perspective than I would have gotten as a regular poster who gets mired down with the daily details. I will post my “progress report” on her most current thread so she and the regular posters can take it from there. (I can also gently reminder her about joining Toastmasters without it seeming like a constant rant.;)) In return she can reply with a list of threads I should read so I can keep up with the important happenings in the lives of the other regular posters here. Actually, my stone can kill three birds… it will also kill all sense of guilt for leaving that Ruth so desperately wants me to feel. :D

I can have only one favorite poster here and that will always be you, Goody. As I check in, I’ll always check Goody’s profile to see if there are any new threads. As long as its your season here and I’m breathing, I’ll follow you and your family. That’s what a forever friend does. :angel:

goody2shuz 02-16-2005 09:49 AM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Heartland.....I see on the relationship board that you made a post even after mine, however, I am only able to bring up page 8 on my end and not visualize anything after that despite seeing a page 9 on display.....I'm stuck on this thread but thank goodness my post is clearly visual on Nini's. So I'm going to see if I this opens up on my thread. If not then clearly it's a sign that this thread has had it's day...but I do hope that my last post to you got through on your end...because it was in my belief (if I may be bold enough to say)....one of my better ones. Well here goes....Goody :wave:

goody2shuz 02-16-2005 10:36 AM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Heartland......OMG, how is it that somebody on the virtual side of life can know somebody else so very well????? You are right, Heartland....if I had a virtual broom that I could use to knock some sense into you I would've done just as you had said.

I am so glad that you have made the decision on your own on how you would like to be here, Heartland, before Goody could pathetically begged you to stay on thus knowing that it would be purely selfish on my part. Your last post before this one was a difficult one..it almost left me feeeling guilty myself thinking that whlie you were out perhaps rescuing me that I was unknowingly and quite unintentionally causing problems for you and the Mrs. Phewwww....it took such alot out of me to say that befause any other time it may have seemed a little presumptuous on my part but we both know each other far more than that now :D

I am flattered that you see me as the negative of your photograph....and in ways I see you as being the same to me....although Tom is definitely not a man of so many words as you are :D :D And you already know his interest in computer typing skills and patience with doing so. You are a Libra and Tom is a zodiac twin making him a...oh golly geez the Zodiac thing is one of Goody's downfalls too :D :D See....I am not quite as perfect and good as you make me out to be ;)

Anyway, I'm typing away & with the way things are I may not even be able to edit because between my built in mouse that backpages and loses my post altogether and the technical glitches here...we may be best picking things up on my other thread if need be.....will save us both alot of time & energy.

My friend is on my mind and I have to wait for her next day off which is Friday....as usual I have this nagging feeling in my chest that urges me to check in and it is so frustrating...she can't talk freely at work or when her husband is around which absolutely drives me crazy. I am really anxious to see how things went this week regarding her husband's employment status and her ultimatum....thanks, Heart and by the way.....that was one of your finer posts ;) ......Goody :angel:

Eureka..it's fixed!!! Thank goodness for small favors :bouncing:

heartlandguy 02-16-2005 01:20 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
[QUOTE=goody2shuz] You are right, Heartland....if I had a virtual broom that I could use to knock some sense into you I would've done just as you had said.[/quote]I’ve said before that we share ESP. Tom and I share ESPN.

[quote]I am so glad that you have made the decision on your own on how you would like to be here, Heartland[/quote]Last night, I forgot that young people look toward the future and old people look toward the past. My decision gives me something to look forward to so it helps me stay forever young. Nini’s not quite 40 and she sounded old and reclusive about a week ago. She’s still hurting from Valentine’s Day but even so she sounded young again and so alive. We have to constantly give her something to look forward to until she can do that for herself.

[quote]Phewwww....it took such alot out of me to say that befause any other time it may have seemed a little presumptuous on my part but we both know each other far more than that now :D[/quote]I’ve thought our concern for each other has been lock-step ever since your darkest hour because we had to think like partners back then to get you through that quagmire. It’s like we’re war buddies. War buddies get emotional when they think of each other. It made sense to me that we should feel the same way but it still made me feel guilty and maybe even a little creepy. I think you just said you had similar concerns. If you never felt that way, then I’m the one who is being presumptuous and foolish.

[quote]Tom is definitely not a man of so many words as you are[/quote]My head has always been filled with words. Before I learned self love, I always felt responsible for silent periods during a date and thereby ruined a fair number of dates by talking too much. As I developed self love, I realized that a slight smile was a much better way to handle a period of silence. My ability to focus on listening to the fair Mrs. Heartland greatly helped me win her hand. Here, since people can skip over anything they wish, I just blabber on and on and on and on… [SIZE=1]He keeps going and going and going...[/SIZE]

[quote]I am not quite as perfect and good as you make me out to be[/quote]Since we rarely choose to reveal our weaknesses here, I think we all come across as a little bigger than life. During your darkest hour, I’d like to think I came across a mixture of John Wayne and Dr. Phil. ;) Ya-ha, Ya-ha, Miss Goody. Let’s ssscircle your wagons and ride out this sssstorm. (Sound familiar?)
If you met me in real life, I’m sure you’d say, “Holy crap! What was I thinking?” ;)

[quote]My friend is on my mind and I have to wait for her next day off which is Friday....as usual I have this nagging feeling in my chest that urges me to check in and it is so frustrating...she can't talk freely at work or when her husband is around which absolutely drives me crazy. I am really anxious to see how things went this week regarding her husband's employment status and her ultimatum....[/quote]We tire easily while on a tightrope and want to rush. It’s so frustrating for you because there is nothing you can initiate without interfering… which in the worst of cases is absolutely necessary. I’ll say a prayer when I think of your friend. Hopefully, God will give him a sign or the job he wants, thus keeping him safe from Ruth. ;)

[quote]thanks, Heart and by the way.....that was one of your finer posts ;)[/quote]Things always look brighter after our darkest hours. So, BTW, now I’m just plain “Heart” to you??? Goody, feel free to call me whatever you wish. Since this is a day filled with presumptuous thoughts, I thought I’d mention that I nickname all my friends, including you. The movie, Animal House, granted me that right. Your name is “Tigger” because of your boundless energy and because the “Tig” portion stands for Tom’s Ivory Girl. Thought you had the right to know…
-Heart, the Far_ [SIZE=1]....Are you sure about that nickname?[/SIZE]

goody2shuz 02-16-2005 02:40 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
[QUOTE=heartlandguy]I’ve thought our concern for each other has been lock-step ever since your darkest hour because we had to think like partners back then to get you through that quagmire. It’s like we’re war buddies. War buddies get emotional when they think of each other. It made sense to me that we should feel the same way but it still made me feel guilty and maybe even a little creepy. I think you just said you had similar concerns. If you never felt that way, then I’m the one who is being presumptuous and foolish.[/QUOTE] Heartland.....I think I need a little clarification here and perhaps you do to. It is no secret here that you and I have developed a unique friendship.....as you already noted we seem to have an ESP feature that goes back even as far as my darkest hours. ;) At first it seemed coincidental but then it happened many more times and convinced me of what I still believe in my heart today....that you are just one of those people God has placed in my life to guide me through my darkest hours. And Heartland I honestly never felt guilty or creepy about it.....however like you have so openly admitted....I too would get emotional when thinking about the way in which you have facilitated my personal growth and success in my marriage & allowing me to see the strengths I possess in my life both virtual and real. ;) As you said...we fought as war buddies in a battle (in the female sense I would see it more in terms of a battle against cancer ;) ) But either way.....when I think back to that darkest hour and share it here with others and you reflect back to me how I do the same for you....it's hard for me to not get emotional about it. But it's not anything I feel guilty or creepy about or ever have. I have a strong feeling that we will evelop something similar with Nini...when and if she is pulled from her storm....but Heartland, you will always be seen as my hero and as you already said yourself, favorite poster. And so....if I felt any guilt it was in the sense of my being the reason you were leaving the boards because of some conflict it may have caused on the homefront when you rescued me. That is the part I presumed and perhaps may be ending up being the fool for in the end :jester:



[QUOTE=heartlandguy].....we rarely choose to reveal our weaknesses here, I think we all come across as a little bigger than life. During your darkest hour, I’d like to think I came across a mixture of John Wayne and Dr. Phil. ;) Ya-ha, Ya-ha, Miss Goody. Let’s ssscircle your wagons and ride out this sssstorm. (Sound familiar?)
If you met me in real life, I’m sure you’d say, “Holy crap! What was I thinking?” ;)[/QUOTE] That would never happen, Heartland and you know it :D



[QUOTE=heartlandguy]We tire easily while on a tightrope and want to rush. It’s so frustrating for you because there is nothing you can initiate without interfering… which in the worst of cases is absolutely necessary. I’ll say a prayer when I think of your friend. Hopefully, God will give him a sign or the job he wants, thus keeping him safe from Ruth. ;)[/QUOTE] HEHEHE...you are as usual probably right!!!



[QUOTE=heartlandguy]Things always look brighter after our darkest hours. So, BTW, now I’m just plain “Heart” to you??? Goody, feel free to call me whatever you wish. Since this is a day filled with presumptuous thoughts, I thought I’d mention that I nickname all my friends, including you. The movie, Animal House, granted me that right. Your name is “Tigger” because of your boundless energy and because the “Tig” portion stands for Tom’s Ivory Girl. Thought you had the right to know…
-Heart, the Far_ [SIZE=1]....Are you sure about that nickname?[/SIZE][/QUOTE]Heartlandguy.....I'll stick with the full version of your name.....the Heart came when my fingers were cramping and laziness set in. Tig....I'll answer to just about anything....I'll leave that up to you.

You'll always be my tinman with a heart in my mind......Goody :wave:

heartlandguy 02-16-2005 07:02 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Hey Tigger! :bouncing:

[QUOTE=Tigger]…when I think back to that darkest hour and share it here with others and you reflect back to me how I do the same for you....it's hard for me to not get emotional about it. But it's not anything I feel guilty or creepy about or ever have.[/quote]Okay, okay, I’ll call you Goody [SIZE=1]most of the time[/SIZE]. Goody, thanks for your quote. It confirmed what I needed to know and helped me self-analyze my issues. Since I put you through a lot to help me with this, you deserve an explanation. Let me start by saying that the Catholic school system has made me feel guilty about way too much. ;) When I first felt the guilt months ago, my worst-case thinking conscience just assumed that it was some type of threat to my marriage although I knew that wasn’t true so I just tried to push it out of my mind. After receiving your quote, I decided to confront this issue by rereading many of the passages that invoked the feelings of guilt. Finally, I saw a pattern and after rationalizing the causes, those passages now give me the warm feeling of sunshine. I can hardly believe the causes so I’ll never expect you to believe this but here goes… Whenever you thank me for helping you, you do it in a very heartfelt and sincere manner that borders on praise. Ever since my childhood, I always felt guilt when I enjoy praise; yup, that’s proof I was raised Catholic. But no more!! Now that I understand this, you can praise away all you wish, I can handle it. ;) So I reread some of the passages just to be sure I was right but discovered a different type of guilt. Believe it or not, sometimes the joy your friendship gives me makes me flashback to Nini and how she never seems to experience that feeling. As she is now, I don’t think she can feel any warmth from the way you and I feel about her. At that level, I know we still aren’t getting through to her because she protects her heart so vigorously from everything. She just doesn’t have the self love to open up to others. I so hope that Toastmasters can help her but she has to be able to handle the praise she will surely get there. Maybe Midwest Catholic kids get raised the same because I sure can relate a lot to how she feels. Yikes, that was longer than I thought it would be!

[quote]if I felt any guilt it was in the sense of my being the reason you were leaving the boards because of some conflict it may have caused on the homefront when you rescued me.[/quote]My wife really hates the amount of time I “waste” here. She fought listening to anything concerning the site until Sunday. I did mention you to her several months ago but since she wouldn’t talk about the site, I thought she was concerned about you. But again, I’m now sure it’s about the amount of time I spend here. She really trusts me and understands that “this Goody” must be a nice person. As a fellow Leo, you probably understand her logic and humor. She always has said I’m too cheap to get involved with another women. I tell her that I simply have no desire to put up with double the grief. I guess that sorta defines our special relationship.:D

[quote]Heartlandguy.....I'll stick with the full version of your name.[/QUOTE]Please don’t do that; the full name sounds so cold and informal. Heartland, HLG, dipstick and the like are fine but Heartlandguy sounds like something my mother would call me. :(

goody2shuz 02-16-2005 07:52 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
[QUOTE=heartlandguy] Goody, thanks for your quote. It confirmed what I needed to know and helped me self-analyze my issues. Since I put you through a lot to help me with this, you deserve an explanation.[/QUOTE] Thanks Heartland....we can now put all the guilt and presumptions to rest.


[QUOTE=heartland]Now that I understand this, you can praise away all you wish, I can handle it. ;) [/QUOTE] Don't worry.....I never run out of words of praise :D


[QUOTE=heartland]Believe it or not, sometimes the joy your friendship gives me makes me flashback to Nini and how she never seems to experience that feeling. As she is now, I don’t think she can feel any warmth from the way you and I feel about her.[/QUOTE] With time and consstent love and support here she will finally see that she is deserving of love. She wants it and needs it but won't open up until she sees herself as deserving of it.


[QUOTE=heartland]Please don’t do that; the full name sounds so cold and informal. Heartland, HLG, dipstick and the like are fine but Heartlandguy sounds like something my mother would call me. :([/QUOTE]

Heartland it is...it is the name that will always remind me of when I finally was able to face my deepest fears and at the same time feel as if everything was gonna be alright.....Goody

goody2shuz 02-17-2005 03:21 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Heartland...Tomorrow my friend will be off and I can get that update....if Goody is feeling the metaphysical thing today it is strong.....all day long. I don't know which forever friend is generating it but the signs are there. And the signs came all day long.....in the form of songs and words such as "killing two birds with one stone" I never hear McArthur Park and it was playing just as I was posting Nini....signs that good things are to come. Walking on eggshells here and where did the songs go???? We need some music...oh well, the roadtrip was good while it lasted. Feels like I got caught driving without my license today ;) But it only ads to the memories...which are many. ;) Say some prayers for my friend...hopefully her husband had a life altering full circle experience like us.....Goody ;) :angel:

Gotta go on a roadtrip with my daughter....mom's taxi service...will check in later..... :wave:

GirlHarley 02-17-2005 03:31 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
I love music but can't sing for the life of me so I haven't been able to come up with a song yet - for the Road Trip - but I do have to say -
I love a song by White Snake - (the 80's long haired heavy metal band)
Here we go again on the road...................I tried doing ****** search for the words and didn't come up for me - I just LOVE that song when I'm down.

Also - Diana Ross - An't Know Mountain High Enough - ya know that one right?

ANYWAYS - Goody :) I caught your post about your daugher on Nini's Thread about your daughter and my son - Bites..doesn't it! I love that he's driving but I'm so lost now without him, without him bugging me for a ride - grrrrrrrr
I want my baby boy back - Taking him out to dinner tomorrow night to have some MOM time - it's gotta be worst for you with a GIRL - those mother / daughers relatioships - that bond, your shopping buddy, facials, haircuts, and girl talk - Boys are so different - I'm VERY close with my son, but he doesn't like to shop in the girly section - LOL

goody2shuz 02-17-2005 04:32 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
GH.....I just returned with the white knuckles...daughter signalled too soon and the imaptient NY driver behind us tried passing on the right and when he couldn't then on the left as my daughter is signalling left and just about to turn :eek: Nearly gave this girl a heartattack :angel: I don't know but this mom is having such a hard time....I brought my daughter into this world to stay live and i am so afraid when the time comes that she's out on the road which is only weeks away....she failed her first road test (thank god :angel: ) and I find myself praying that she'll continue to until God knows she's ready. is that bad of me?????

And having a girl...oh boy, my daughter & I clash...she wouldn't even step foot in my salon (not cool enough) Actually she's pretty low maintenance thank God. We're close in a hormonal PMSey way ;) I'm told that in a few years things will change...but I have another just behind her :eek:

yes..the college years are just ahead....she's been wanting out of here to spread her wings since I pushed her out into this world and i want her to go so she can finally see it's not all it's cut out to be...and today she said she wants to stay home. Does this mean she actually likes me??? I know it sounds harsh...but we have a relationship that keeps my sense of humow intact...if you know what i mean. She is testing her limits and a wonderful kid at the same time...if that makes sense :D :D

Thanks for the wong GH...I can never get enough music....Goody :angel:

heartlandguy 02-17-2005 04:35 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
[QUOTE=GirlHarley]1) I love music but can't sing for the life of me.

2) I tried doing ****** search for the words and didn't come up for me.[/QUOTE]1) I lost my Robert Plant falsetto years ago. :( Bummer! Either its deep or a screech...

2) Search for a lyrics website. Leo has a good one. I've always wondered if Goody was involved with it.;)

Concerning the "meanagers",

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone

-Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi


PS Most women think its unfair to have PMS while men don't. Ruth is right, testosterone is the male equivalent, 24/7. Talk about stress.... :eek:

Goody, I'll be gone for a few days. I'll try to peek in soon but I am very committed to my promise to my wife and God (different people). :angel:

goody2shuz 02-17-2005 05:06 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Heartland...I never even doubted your committment to either :angel: And then there is yet another sign....the song that plays as I post now...."I'll Stand by You"....Heartland, it's so monumental and appropriate to seeing you off to the real world....

OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS

I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU

SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD
DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE
COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW
HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE?
I GET ANGRY TOO
WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU
WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS
AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE
LET ME COME ALONG
'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG

I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU

AND WHEN...
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU, BABY
YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE
YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN

I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU


~Goody :angel: (delivered in a friendly way so there's no guilt or presumtions ;) )

heartlandguy 02-17-2005 06:14 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Goody, that was by the Pretenders but you're certainly no pretender. You're the real thing. I’ll be very disappointed if I ever learn Tom and you didn’t live happily ever after because that would mean that dreams made in heaven don’t come true.
I don’t think I could take it… oh no!

Since I wasn't meant to know the joy of meeting you in real life,
"Whenever I want you, all I have to do is dream, dream dream dream"
-The Everly Brothers

Sweet dreams, my very dear and forever friend!!!!!! :yawn:


Radio Free Heartland is signing off for the week. I can’t bear one more goodbye.

goody2shuz 02-17-2005 06:32 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
It's not goodbye...it's Godspeed and God's Blessings my forever friend....Goody :wave:

goody2shuz 02-19-2005 09:48 AM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Well....as Heartland is off in the real world doing his thing (and I am confident it is only good things involving other people) I received a phone call today from my friend who's situation served as Heartland's answer to his prayers. He said it allowed us to come full circle and as he so wisely predicted so have things for my friend. Her husband received two jobs in the CD/Video business he has started which will bring in money very soon. She sounded relieved and optimistic that once the first two jobs come through things should take off and the pressure of the finances will be lifted. She also shared how on Valentine's Day she came home from work to a fully cooked meal and card saying how he was going to secure their future and make up for all the past years that have caused her worry.

I don't know if it was the talk, the prayers....but one thing I am certain of is that as Heartland already said..my thread has served its purpose and God does work in the most remarkable of ways. :angel:

Goody :wave:

genster 02-19-2005 10:55 AM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
hey Goody
Glad to see your friend had some good news in her life. THat situation is not easy, when one partner doesn't seem to be pulling his/her weight. I hope it works out for them.
You'll have to excuse the typing - I seem to be developing typing dyslexia; every time I start to type a word, I make a mistake... or maybe I just can't type??
Hope your day is going well.

heartlandguy 02-20-2005 03:55 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Hey, Goody! :wave:

I’m so happy for your friend and her husband. A periodic prayer for them might be good so there is no backsliding. ;) I’m sure you can breathe easier, too, so relax, my friend.

Goody, after a busy day for me on the board on Thursday, I feared I’d find no more signs. Happily, I was sooo wrong. Also, I tried to get a better grasp on our friendship. I’ve come to realize that you are like no other person in my life. As I saw in your quotes [U]below[/U], you’ve known something for a while that I’ve never noticed. After Thursday, I finally thought about how you started this thread on the same day I tried to cut back on posting for Lent. At the perfect moment, you so perfectly described my problematic situation (and the solution) while explaining your friend’s situation. Goody, you were unwittingly a messenger because there was no way you could know that I had the same problem as your friend's husband. When I first read your words, I lived the lyrics of “Killing Me Softly With His Song” by Roberta Flack

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on.

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair...

[quote=goody2shuz]I know you Heart.....even more than I ever thought I could know another person. . . . . . OMG, how is it that somebody on the virtual side of life can know somebody else so very well????? . . . . . we seem to have an ESP feature that goes back even as far as my darkest hours. At first it seemed coincidental but then it happened many more times and convinced me of what I still believe in my heart today....that you are just one of those people God has placed in my life to guide me through my darkest hours. [/quote]Goody, now your quotes have a much deeper meaning for me. I once provided you advice for K before you could request it; you said that shocked you. Around then, you must have realized what I’m starting to realize now… In addition to being great friends, we know an unexplainable amount about each other and have a unique spiritual bond. I’ve certainly never experienced anything like this before in my life. Today I realized that if my wife was like you, I couldn’t hide anything from her and I’d be miserable. :D :D

The last three days have been full of signs. While driving to a family responsibility on Friday, I explained most of the recent happenings on the board to my wife since she’s my primary advice and support team. ;) It really went quite well until she finally hit her saturation point… She said, “Hey!!! What’s with all the metaphors!?!” (Realguy will love that. :)) We came back Saturday and as we talked, she became skeptical of all the signs and symbolism. It peaked when I said to complete the full circle, I need to tell you "I'm scared Goody" which is somewhat true. Finally, I told her, like I once told you, that the gospel and homily on Sunday after a milestone week, always seem to directly apply to my week. “Just stop it”, she said. When today’s gospel on the Transfiguration said “Arise, and do not be afraid.”, she turned to me with an surprised look on her face. I just smiled back.

Finally, I saw sign Friday that reminded me of you:
You'll always be my friend; you know too much!

So it’s not goodbye but until next time, my awesome friend. –Heartland

goody2shuz 02-20-2005 04:32 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
[QUOTE=heartlandguy]Hey, Goody!

I’m so happy for your friend and her husband. A periodic prayer for them might be good so there is no backsliding.I’m sure you can breathe easier, too, so relax, my friend.[/QUOTE]


WOW...it's great to see you...my ESP must have kicked in almost like "on the third day He rose again :angel: " You will need to keep me updated here so I can see iF your progress parallels my friends husbands.



[QUOTE=heartland]Goody, after a busy day for me on the board on Thursday, I feared I’d find no more signs. Happily, I was sooo wrong. Also, I tried to get a better grasp on our friendship. I’ve come to realize that you are like no other person in my life. As I saw in your quotes [U]below[/U], you’ve known something for a while that I’ve never noticed. After Thursday, I finally thought about how you started this thread on the same day I tried to cut back on posting for Lent. At the perfect moment, you so perfectly described my problematic situation (and the solution) while explaining your friend’s situation. Goody, you were unwittingly a messenger because there was no way you could know that I had the same problem as your friend's husband. When I first read your words, I lived the lyrics of “Killing Me Softly With His Song” by Roberta Flack

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on.

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair...[/QUOTE]

OOh, ye of little faith......I have known this for so long that we would serve a purpose in one another's lives. But Heartland, I never really knew that you needed that answer and feel so honored to have been an instrument in making your life more complete. BTW....how is it going..you cannot leave me in the dark??? ;)

[QUOTE=heartland]Goody, now your quotes have a much deeper meaning for me. I once provided you advice for K before you could request it; you said that shocked you. Around then, you must have realized what I’m starting to realize now… In addition to being great friends, we know an unexplainable amount about each other and have a unique spiritual bond. I’ve certainly never experienced anything like this before in my life. Today I realized that if my wife was like you, I couldn’t hide anything from her and I’d be miserable. :D [/QUOTE] Yeah...thats why marriage has a mystery to it but friendships have the ability to reflect more of what we hold deep inside. I have many friends but only two who allow me to see that reflection....my friend that I speak of in this thread & [B]you[/B].....funny how the two connected ;)




[QUOTE=heartland]The last three days have been full of signs. While driving to a family responsibility on Friday, I explained most of the recent happenings on the board to my wife since she’s my primary advice and support team. ;) It really went quite well until she finally hit her saturation point… She said, “Hey!!! What’s with all the metaphors!?!” (Realguy will love that. We came back Saturday and as we talked, she became skeptical of all the signs and symbolism. It peaked when I said to complete the full circle, I need to tell you "I'm scared Goody" which is somewhat true. Finally, I told her, like I once told you, that the gospel and homily on Sunday after a milestone week, always seem to directly apply to my week. “Just stop it”, she said. When today’s gospel on the Transfiguration said “Arise, and do not be afraid.”, she turned to me with an surprised look on her face. I just smiled back.

Finally, I saw sign Friday that reminded me of you:
You'll always be my friend; you know too much!

So it’s not goodbye but until next time, my awesome friend. –Heartland[/QUOTE] The metaphors and symbolism are not for everyone..I was explaining a little bit of what is going on here to Tom and my best friend...my best friend sees it because she knows how it is between her and I...that metaphysical/spiritual connection. ;) On Saturday I got out of the shower and ran for the phone telling Tom I had to call my friend.....that feeling was there again. He looked shocked and said...she had called minutes before and asked for me to call her back :D

Heartland....your sign is there, and I must tell you to not be afraid...I think that you have seen what you have to do and have acquired the confidence you need to be able to do it. If you need me to walk with you you know I am here and always will be. Funny....I usually don't frequent the boards on Sundays..but once again I was compelled to be here to find that you were too. I will post another song to get you through your journey...I need to find it and hope it gives you the strength to do what you need to do. I believe in you, Heartland, like you once believed in me. You know already that you are not alone....so go knowing that. And keep us posted on how you're doing....Goody :angel:

heartlandguy 02-20-2005 04:49 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Goody, I forgot to say that during Lent (and probably later), I'll try to post on most of the Sundays I'm home.

goody2shuz 02-20-2005 05:03 PM

Re: What's a Friend to Do?
 
Okay my friend...here's a song I found to take with you as you journey forward through the week. Whenever you feel afraid just sing it to yourself and know I'll be singing along with you...


When you walk through a storm hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.


Your forever friend....Goody :angel:

PS I will check in on Sundays and we wil compare homilies.. :angel:


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