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    Old 02-16-2005, 07:02 PM   #46
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Hey Tigger!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Tigger
    …when I think back to that darkest hour and share it here with others and you reflect back to me how I do the same for you....it's hard for me to not get emotional about it. But it's not anything I feel guilty or creepy about or ever have.
    Okay, okay, I’ll call you Goody most of the time. Goody, thanks for your quote. It confirmed what I needed to know and helped me self-analyze my issues. Since I put you through a lot to help me with this, you deserve an explanation. Let me start by saying that the Catholic school system has made me feel guilty about way too much. When I first felt the guilt months ago, my worst-case thinking conscience just assumed that it was some type of threat to my marriage although I knew that wasn’t true so I just tried to push it out of my mind. After receiving your quote, I decided to confront this issue by rereading many of the passages that invoked the feelings of guilt. Finally, I saw a pattern and after rationalizing the causes, those passages now give me the warm feeling of sunshine. I can hardly believe the causes so I’ll never expect you to believe this but here goes… Whenever you thank me for helping you, you do it in a very heartfelt and sincere manner that borders on praise. Ever since my childhood, I always felt guilt when I enjoy praise; yup, that’s proof I was raised Catholic. But no more!! Now that I understand this, you can praise away all you wish, I can handle it. So I reread some of the passages just to be sure I was right but discovered a different type of guilt. Believe it or not, sometimes the joy your friendship gives me makes me flashback to Nini and how she never seems to experience that feeling. As she is now, I don’t think she can feel any warmth from the way you and I feel about her. At that level, I know we still aren’t getting through to her because she protects her heart so vigorously from everything. She just doesn’t have the self love to open up to others. I so hope that Toastmasters can help her but she has to be able to handle the praise she will surely get there. Maybe Midwest Catholic kids get raised the same because I sure can relate a lot to how she feels. Yikes, that was longer than I thought it would be!

    Quote:
    if I felt any guilt it was in the sense of my being the reason you were leaving the boards because of some conflict it may have caused on the homefront when you rescued me.
    My wife really hates the amount of time I “waste” here. She fought listening to anything concerning the site until Sunday. I did mention you to her several months ago but since she wouldn’t talk about the site, I thought she was concerned about you. But again, I’m now sure it’s about the amount of time I spend here. She really trusts me and understands that “this Goody” must be a nice person. As a fellow Leo, you probably understand her logic and humor. She always has said I’m too cheap to get involved with another women. I tell her that I simply have no desire to put up with double the grief. I guess that sorta defines our special relationship.

    Quote:
    Heartlandguy.....I'll stick with the full version of your name.
    Please don’t do that; the full name sounds so cold and informal. Heartland, HLG, dipstick and the like are fine but Heartlandguy sounds like something my mother would call me.

     
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    Old 02-16-2005, 07:52 PM   #47
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Goody, thanks for your quote. It confirmed what I needed to know and helped me self-analyze my issues. Since I put you through a lot to help me with this, you deserve an explanation.
    Thanks Heartland....we can now put all the guilt and presumptions to rest.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartland
    Now that I understand this, you can praise away all you wish, I can handle it.
    Don't worry.....I never run out of words of praise


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartland
    Believe it or not, sometimes the joy your friendship gives me makes me flashback to Nini and how she never seems to experience that feeling. As she is now, I don’t think she can feel any warmth from the way you and I feel about her.
    With time and consstent love and support here she will finally see that she is deserving of love. She wants it and needs it but won't open up until she sees herself as deserving of it.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartland
    Please don’t do that; the full name sounds so cold and informal. Heartland, HLG, dipstick and the like are fine but Heartlandguy sounds like something my mother would call me.
    Heartland it is...it is the name that will always remind me of when I finally was able to face my deepest fears and at the same time feel as if everything was gonna be alright.....Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 02-16-2005 at 07:54 PM.

     
    Old 02-17-2005, 03:21 PM   #48
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Heartland...Tomorrow my friend will be off and I can get that update....if Goody is feeling the metaphysical thing today it is strong.....all day long. I don't know which forever friend is generating it but the signs are there. And the signs came all day long.....in the form of songs and words such as "killing two birds with one stone" I never hear McArthur Park and it was playing just as I was posting Nini....signs that good things are to come. Walking on eggshells here and where did the songs go???? We need some music...oh well, the roadtrip was good while it lasted. Feels like I got caught driving without my license today But it only ads to the memories...which are many. Say some prayers for my friend...hopefully her husband had a life altering full circle experience like us.....Goody

    Gotta go on a roadtrip with my daughter....mom's taxi service...will check in later.....

     
    Old 02-17-2005, 03:31 PM   #49
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    I love music but can't sing for the life of me so I haven't been able to come up with a song yet - for the Road Trip - but I do have to say -
    I love a song by White Snake - (the 80's long haired heavy metal band)
    Here we go again on the road...................I tried doing ****** search for the words and didn't come up for me - I just LOVE that song when I'm down.

    Also - Diana Ross - An't Know Mountain High Enough - ya know that one right?

    ANYWAYS - Goody I caught your post about your daugher on Nini's Thread about your daughter and my son - Bites..doesn't it! I love that he's driving but I'm so lost now without him, without him bugging me for a ride - grrrrrrrr
    I want my baby boy back - Taking him out to dinner tomorrow night to have some MOM time - it's gotta be worst for you with a GIRL - those mother / daughers relatioships - that bond, your shopping buddy, facials, haircuts, and girl talk - Boys are so different - I'm VERY close with my son, but he doesn't like to shop in the girly section - LOL

     
    Old 02-17-2005, 04:32 PM   #50
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    GH.....I just returned with the white knuckles...daughter signalled too soon and the imaptient NY driver behind us tried passing on the right and when he couldn't then on the left as my daughter is signalling left and just about to turn Nearly gave this girl a heartattack I don't know but this mom is having such a hard time....I brought my daughter into this world to stay live and i am so afraid when the time comes that she's out on the road which is only weeks away....she failed her first road test (thank god ) and I find myself praying that she'll continue to until God knows she's ready. is that bad of me?????

    And having a girl...oh boy, my daughter & I clash...she wouldn't even step foot in my salon (not cool enough) Actually she's pretty low maintenance thank God. We're close in a hormonal PMSey way I'm told that in a few years things will change...but I have another just behind her

    yes..the college years are just ahead....she's been wanting out of here to spread her wings since I pushed her out into this world and i want her to go so she can finally see it's not all it's cut out to be...and today she said she wants to stay home. Does this mean she actually likes me??? I know it sounds harsh...but we have a relationship that keeps my sense of humow intact...if you know what i mean. She is testing her limits and a wonderful kid at the same time...if that makes sense

    Thanks for the wong GH...I can never get enough music....Goody

     
    Old 02-17-2005, 04:35 PM   #51
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GirlHarley
    1) I love music but can't sing for the life of me.

    2) I tried doing ****** search for the words and didn't come up for me.
    1) I lost my Robert Plant falsetto years ago. Bummer! Either its deep or a screech...

    2) Search for a lyrics website. Leo has a good one. I've always wondered if Goody was involved with it.

    Concerning the "meanagers",

    Don't it always seem to go
    That you don't know what you've got
    Till it's gone

    -Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi


    PS Most women think its unfair to have PMS while men don't. Ruth is right, testosterone is the male equivalent, 24/7. Talk about stress....

    Goody, I'll be gone for a few days. I'll try to peek in soon but I am very committed to my promise to my wife and God (different people).

    Last edited by heartlandguy; 02-17-2005 at 04:45 PM.

     
    Old 02-17-2005, 05:06 PM   #52
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Heartland...I never even doubted your committment to either And then there is yet another sign....the song that plays as I post now...."I'll Stand by You"....Heartland, it's so monumental and appropriate to seeing you off to the real world....

    OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
    TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
    COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
    DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
    LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
    'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
    WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
    YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
    NOTHING YOU CONFESS
    COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS

    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU

    SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD
    DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE
    COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW
    HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE?
    I GET ANGRY TOO
    WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU
    WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS
    AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE
    LET ME COME ALONG
    'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG

    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
    AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU

    AND WHEN...
    WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU, BABY
    YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE
    YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN

    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU

    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
    AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU
    WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
    I'LL STAND BY YOU


    ~Goody (delivered in a friendly way so there's no guilt or presumtions )

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 02-17-2005 at 05:10 PM.

     
    Old 02-17-2005, 06:14 PM   #53
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Goody, that was by the Pretenders but you're certainly no pretender. You're the real thing. I’ll be very disappointed if I ever learn Tom and you didn’t live happily ever after because that would mean that dreams made in heaven don’t come true.
    I don’t think I could take it… oh no!

    Since I wasn't meant to know the joy of meeting you in real life,
    "Whenever I want you, all I have to do is dream, dream dream dream"
    -The Everly Brothers

    Sweet dreams, my very dear and forever friend!!!!!!


    Radio Free Heartland is signing off for the week. I can’t bear one more goodbye.

     
    Old 02-17-2005, 06:32 PM   #54
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    It's not goodbye...it's Godspeed and God's Blessings my forever friend....Goody

     
    Old 02-19-2005, 09:48 AM   #55
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Well....as Heartland is off in the real world doing his thing (and I am confident it is only good things involving other people) I received a phone call today from my friend who's situation served as Heartland's answer to his prayers. He said it allowed us to come full circle and as he so wisely predicted so have things for my friend. Her husband received two jobs in the CD/Video business he has started which will bring in money very soon. She sounded relieved and optimistic that once the first two jobs come through things should take off and the pressure of the finances will be lifted. She also shared how on Valentine's Day she came home from work to a fully cooked meal and card saying how he was going to secure their future and make up for all the past years that have caused her worry.

    I don't know if it was the talk, the prayers....but one thing I am certain of is that as Heartland already said..my thread has served its purpose and God does work in the most remarkable of ways.

    Goody

     
    Old 02-19-2005, 10:55 AM   #56
    genster
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    hey Goody
    Glad to see your friend had some good news in her life. THat situation is not easy, when one partner doesn't seem to be pulling his/her weight. I hope it works out for them.
    You'll have to excuse the typing - I seem to be developing typing dyslexia; every time I start to type a word, I make a mistake... or maybe I just can't type??
    Hope your day is going well.

     
    Old 02-20-2005, 03:55 PM   #57
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Hey, Goody!

    I’m so happy for your friend and her husband. A periodic prayer for them might be good so there is no backsliding. I’m sure you can breathe easier, too, so relax, my friend.

    Goody, after a busy day for me on the board on Thursday, I feared I’d find no more signs. Happily, I was sooo wrong. Also, I tried to get a better grasp on our friendship. I’ve come to realize that you are like no other person in my life. As I saw in your quotes below, you’ve known something for a while that I’ve never noticed. After Thursday, I finally thought about how you started this thread on the same day I tried to cut back on posting for Lent. At the perfect moment, you so perfectly described my problematic situation (and the solution) while explaining your friend’s situation. Goody, you were unwittingly a messenger because there was no way you could know that I had the same problem as your friend's husband. When I first read your words, I lived the lyrics of “Killing Me Softly With His Song” by Roberta Flack

    I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
    I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
    I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on.

    He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    I know you Heart.....even more than I ever thought I could know another person. . . . . . OMG, how is it that somebody on the virtual side of life can know somebody else so very well????? . . . . . we seem to have an ESP feature that goes back even as far as my darkest hours. At first it seemed coincidental but then it happened many more times and convinced me of what I still believe in my heart today....that you are just one of those people God has placed in my life to guide me through my darkest hours.
    Goody, now your quotes have a much deeper meaning for me. I once provided you advice for K before you could request it; you said that shocked you. Around then, you must have realized what I’m starting to realize now… In addition to being great friends, we know an unexplainable amount about each other and have a unique spiritual bond. I’ve certainly never experienced anything like this before in my life. Today I realized that if my wife was like you, I couldn’t hide anything from her and I’d be miserable.

    The last three days have been full of signs. While driving to a family responsibility on Friday, I explained most of the recent happenings on the board to my wife since she’s my primary advice and support team. It really went quite well until she finally hit her saturation point… She said, “Hey!!! What’s with all the metaphors!?!” (Realguy will love that. ) We came back Saturday and as we talked, she became skeptical of all the signs and symbolism. It peaked when I said to complete the full circle, I need to tell you "I'm scared Goody" which is somewhat true. Finally, I told her, like I once told you, that the gospel and homily on Sunday after a milestone week, always seem to directly apply to my week. “Just stop it”, she said. When today’s gospel on the Transfiguration said “Arise, and do not be afraid.”, she turned to me with an surprised look on her face. I just smiled back.

    Finally, I saw sign Friday that reminded me of you:
    You'll always be my friend; you know too much!

    So it’s not goodbye but until next time, my awesome friend. –Heartland

     
    Old 02-20-2005, 04:32 PM   #58
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Hey, Goody!

    I’m so happy for your friend and her husband. A periodic prayer for them might be good so there is no backsliding.I’m sure you can breathe easier, too, so relax, my friend.

    WOW...it's great to see you...my ESP must have kicked in almost like "on the third day He rose again " You will need to keep me updated here so I can see iF your progress parallels my friends husbands.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartland
    Goody, after a busy day for me on the board on Thursday, I feared I’d find no more signs. Happily, I was sooo wrong. Also, I tried to get a better grasp on our friendship. I’ve come to realize that you are like no other person in my life. As I saw in your quotes below, you’ve known something for a while that I’ve never noticed. After Thursday, I finally thought about how you started this thread on the same day I tried to cut back on posting for Lent. At the perfect moment, you so perfectly described my problematic situation (and the solution) while explaining your friend’s situation. Goody, you were unwittingly a messenger because there was no way you could know that I had the same problem as your friend's husband. When I first read your words, I lived the lyrics of “Killing Me Softly With His Song” by Roberta Flack

    I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
    I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
    I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on.

    He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair...
    OOh, ye of little faith......I have known this for so long that we would serve a purpose in one another's lives. But Heartland, I never really knew that you needed that answer and feel so honored to have been an instrument in making your life more complete. BTW....how is it going..you cannot leave me in the dark???

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartland
    Goody, now your quotes have a much deeper meaning for me. I once provided you advice for K before you could request it; you said that shocked you. Around then, you must have realized what I’m starting to realize now… In addition to being great friends, we know an unexplainable amount about each other and have a unique spiritual bond. I’ve certainly never experienced anything like this before in my life. Today I realized that if my wife was like you, I couldn’t hide anything from her and I’d be miserable.
    Yeah...thats why marriage has a mystery to it but friendships have the ability to reflect more of what we hold deep inside. I have many friends but only two who allow me to see that reflection....my friend that I speak of in this thread & you.....funny how the two connected




    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartland
    The last three days have been full of signs. While driving to a family responsibility on Friday, I explained most of the recent happenings on the board to my wife since she’s my primary advice and support team. It really went quite well until she finally hit her saturation point… She said, “Hey!!! What’s with all the metaphors!?!” (Realguy will love that. We came back Saturday and as we talked, she became skeptical of all the signs and symbolism. It peaked when I said to complete the full circle, I need to tell you "I'm scared Goody" which is somewhat true. Finally, I told her, like I once told you, that the gospel and homily on Sunday after a milestone week, always seem to directly apply to my week. “Just stop it”, she said. When today’s gospel on the Transfiguration said “Arise, and do not be afraid.”, she turned to me with an surprised look on her face. I just smiled back.

    Finally, I saw sign Friday that reminded me of you:
    You'll always be my friend; you know too much!

    So it’s not goodbye but until next time, my awesome friend. –Heartland
    The metaphors and symbolism are not for everyone..I was explaining a little bit of what is going on here to Tom and my best friend...my best friend sees it because she knows how it is between her and I...that metaphysical/spiritual connection. On Saturday I got out of the shower and ran for the phone telling Tom I had to call my friend.....that feeling was there again. He looked shocked and said...she had called minutes before and asked for me to call her back

    Heartland....your sign is there, and I must tell you to not be afraid...I think that you have seen what you have to do and have acquired the confidence you need to be able to do it. If you need me to walk with you you know I am here and always will be. Funny....I usually don't frequent the boards on Sundays..but once again I was compelled to be here to find that you were too. I will post another song to get you through your journey...I need to find it and hope it gives you the strength to do what you need to do. I believe in you, Heartland, like you once believed in me. You know already that you are not alone....so go knowing that. And keep us posted on how you're doing....Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 02-20-2005 at 04:38 PM.

     
    Old 02-20-2005, 04:49 PM   #59
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Goody, I forgot to say that during Lent (and probably later), I'll try to post on most of the Sundays I'm home.

     
    Old 02-20-2005, 05:03 PM   #60
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Okay my friend...here's a song I found to take with you as you journey forward through the week. Whenever you feel afraid just sing it to yourself and know I'll be singing along with you...


    When you walk through a storm hold your head up high
    And don't be afraid of the dark.
    At the end of a storm is a golden sky
    And the sweet silver song of a lark.
    Walk on through the wind,
    Walk on through the rain,
    Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
    Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
    And you'll never walk alone,
    You'll never, ever walk alone.

    Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
    And you'll never walk alone,
    You'll never, ever walk alone.


    Your forever friend....Goody

    PS I will check in on Sundays and we wil compare homilies..

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 02-20-2005 at 05:03 PM.

     
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