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    Old 03-04-2005, 09:41 AM   #121
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    I assume my last post said enough for her to be optimistic. My post about her questions will probably help her decide on how she will become involvement with the thread. I don't want to rush her decision because I'm not sure where this is all going either. Ultimately, both she and I will have to feel that He is leading us out of our quagmires.

     
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    Old 03-04-2005, 09:52 AM   #122
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    [B]Heartland....If I needed a "clearer" sign I couldn't have gotten one. Clearly His hand is in this and the lyrics of "I Can See Clearly Now" are ringing ever so wonderfully through my mind Heartland your post had just popped up after my friend and I were bearing our souls to one another on how to go on from here. I was hurt discussing how I couldn't be in the middle because of my strong friendship to each of you without possibly losing what I love in each of you. As much as I wanted to help you I knew I couldn't without betraying either one of you. How wonderfully God intervened when He delivered your post addressing each and every one of our concerns

    My friend is in agreement of wanting to hop on our road but with the clear understanding of needing to gain trust...your post was certainly a terrific start and if you address the questions thus "bearing your soul" as she has in what I shared here with you, she feels that it may be easier for her to come aboard. Everything is as it should be......I know that it is as you do too. My friend has requested that you understand how she feels in being much more soul beared here and that she is still uncertain but was certainly inspired by your post that I shared with her. Personally, I have never seen God work in such a wonderful way as I have seen today (except when we were travelling on the yellow brick road together )

    One concern, Heartland, how do you think Mrs. Heartland will feel about you travelling on the road with two women????? It's a matter of trust, my friend, and you can tell Mrs. H that there is no one I trust more than YOU....Goody aka Tigger

    PS....My friend tells me she is anxiously awaiting your answers to her questions

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-04-2005 at 10:31 AM.

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 10:31 AM   #123
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    My friend has requested that you understand how she feels in being much more soul beared here and that she is still uncertain but was certainly inspired by your post that I shared with her.
    I agree totally with YBF; I would feel the same way if I was in her “2shuz”. (Is that enough humor and smileys for you, Goody?) I know probably more than I should about her family while she only sees me through your eyes. That is why I mentioned answering her questions so as to let both of you know I plan to level the playing field as much as I can.

    If she eventually decides I am trustworthy, her direct involvement by posting will help her control what she wishes to post. Things that can be said over the relative privacy of the phone can’t always be said with safety on any public board. If she posts, she limits her risks.

    Quote:
    One concern, Heartland, how do you think Mrs. Heartland will feel about you travelling on the road with two women?????
    I think she’ll like the idea of you being chaperoned. Just promise me that you two won’t turn against me…

    Quote:
    My friend tells me she is anxiously awaiting her answers to her questions
    As usual, it will be slow to come but hopefully I won’t disappoint. I will be interested to learn if she finds my values close enough to her husband’s values to be of use to her and me. -Heartland

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 10:51 AM   #124
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    . I believe what YBF and I actually seek from each other is spiritual in nature; basically it’s about whether He has abandoned our families or if He is deeply testing our faith in Him. MBF asked me to tell you that she has never felt abandoned or as if her faith is being tested...I will tell you that she is a Born Again Christian as is her husband....I am Catholic with a Christian Spirituality but would say that her faith is so much more a part of her life than mine is. She also said to tell you that she does see her role in this as more of a way of helping Mrs. Heartland So you may want to alert Mrs. H.

    MBF said that she is not totally convinced as to this threads purpose as you are so understanding of but I do not doubt your abilities in changing that. She also will have limited access to the computer this weekend and has thoroughly defined issues that I am at privy to discuss on her behalf and what I am not. For reasons I am not at liberty to disclose...MBF may not be able to post on behalf of herself and so I may have to act on her behalf if she so chooses.

    Also...what my friend wants you to understand at this point is how on a daily basis she is frustrated by the fact how her husband has allowed his understanding of the Bible to misdirect his responsibilities.....he sees it as his ministry to God coming above all else even when it comes to family. His interpretation is that God and ministry to God come above family and that they will be provided for so long as he believes that. The same bible has my friend and I clearly interpreting our lives as putting God first, then family and then ministry to God. There is a clear difference in how the two are viewed and how they play out in our lives. Thus the strugggles. My friend does not see God as abandoning them, rather she sees her husband as misguiding them by his interpretation.

    I plan on spending my time here assisting you in any way I can and also responding to your Godgiven post Oh, Heartland, I never doubted the way in which things would unfold except when that tree fell that I had stumbled upon.....I believe in miracles because they happen everyday when we least expect them. Hold on, my friend, the rollercoaster ride is just about to begin ....Goody aka Tigger

    PS.....Back on the road again and knowing that there's a Rainbow at the End

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-04-2005 at 10:57 AM.

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 11:24 AM   #125
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Good morning, Tigger! You’ve got back that spring in your step that I so admire. You are not weak! A weak person is too scared to get up after tripping but you’ve bounced backed full of energy and enthusiasm. (must be the Leo in you) Your energy and enthusiasm give me the optimism I need for the tasks ahead.
    Heartland it is all inspired by the signs I see....today when I woke up I read Stacy's post and as I typed away I saw how it also appleid to me personally and the steps I needed to take. Clearly I was not misguided in the sense it brought me back to where I belonged.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlan
    Goody, I never saw you leading the way. I saw Him taking your hand then you reaching out with your other hand for mine. Isn’t that how it works for His proxies?
    Thanks for reminding me that I am not Goddy ....the pressure of the job is far too much for this girl to handle. I like the 2shuz I am wearing in walking on the roa and sharing my discoveries with you along the way. And can we refer to our job as His instruments/vessels.....proxy gives both my friend and I an uncomfortable feeling. I guess it's a hormonal thing

    BTW, I revised my vision of our road again because it was too impersonal to be His way. Yes, it’s like Dorothy’s road again but maybe Your Best Friend (YBF) will join us. You’ve said YBF feels excluded from your Fab Four. I don’t want her to feel excluded from another friendship of yours. Hopefully, she’ll decide to join us; the road is wide enough for her, too. I suspect we’ll all need each other to keep focused on the road itself rather than all the distractions alongside the road. The last paragraph in your post this morning seems to concur with this vision I wouldn't mind that at all and already forewarned my friend of our metaphoric way of travelling through these threads...she said she'll grin & bear it but may not be as inept to use it as you and I do. And Heartland...she did tell me from her limited viewing here, that she regards your posts highly so don't knock yourself out tooo much to get her here on the road....just be your usual wonderful self!!

    Your post last night was wonderful; thanks so much for all the details. (You know how I love details about how we view life ) Most importantly, it confirmed that your unnerving questions were influenced by YBF. (Goody, don’t feel guilty about the questions; I expected that to happen at some point.) That means two positive things. First, this thread remains viable because YBF still has questions related to your first post on this thread. Second, YBF’s interest in my situation mirrors my interest in their situation. I believe what YBF and I actually seek from each other is spiritual in nature; basically it’s about whether He has abandoned our families or if He is deeply testing our faith in Him. I also believe if YBF can learn to trust me, she’ll find a way to directly join in this thread (that’s part of my vision). To show her my good faith, I will post soon to answer her questions in a spiritual way that I think will answer her basic questions. The post will exclude all real world details that aren’t essential to my story. If she has more questions, I will answer them in like manner so I can protect my identity. Goody, if YBF wants you to ask me her questions, please do the following for me. If you’ve been waiting for the right time to ask a question yourself and you feel it is the right time, simply ask the question. I trust your judgment in asking timely questions (like you did the other night for YBF and you). Otherwise, if you wouldn’t have asked a question from YBF, simply clarify that it is her question. I’ll try to answer the questions in the same way, regardless who asks. I think it will be less confusing for our friendship if I don’t confuse her thinking for yours so that is why I ask this favor. Heartland.....I love the closeness we share and the ability to be ourselves...the honesty, the companionship and the genuine caring that makes me proud to call you my friend. I never truly had a male friend....one that shares the mutual respect that I do for marriage, family and God...(not in that particular order ) I really feel called to post for Mrs. Heartland and will do so when the opportunity is right. And I will clearly state my thoughts vs. my friends...and may have to warn you that it may have to continue being that way for a while perhaps indefinitely.

    After the post to answer her questions, I will start on another post to reply to your terrific post from last night. I agree with virtually all of your comments. BTW, let me tell you about how I like to communicate at times. Instead of asking a lot of related questions, I like to envision probable explanations based on what I know. When I present my vision to others, they seem less defensive in providing corrections than they would have been answering questions because they have a better idea of I’m wanting. Also, they communicate at a similar level of detail as I presented in the vision. So, as you’ll see later, things like “emotional debt” made the scenario easier to write but don’t reflect my actual beliefs. In fact, I’m glad that I used that phrase because your response told me how strongly you feel about your convictions. I admire your high standards and your courage to speak out. That’s the kind of friend I want and need. A lesser person would have told me what they thought I wanted to hear. you really know how to build me up...if I am every lacking in self love all i need is you to redirect me. I do look forward to your response to my post....as always.

    Parables speak loudly to us. They turn words about how to live into vivid images in our minds. We can write our own parables, too; it’s my preferred form of prayer. That is how I see my visions. My visions change whenever I grow… I know that you and I could write many a parable together...beautiful ones too...perhaps an idea in terms of a career????

    PS: Yo, I thought I invented the term “rap crap” but I see I’m not alone. Like you imply, nothing is 100% bad. Our duty in life is to amplify the good in everything so as to drown out the bad… and rap can drown out about anything. I knew we'd agree on this as well....hey Heartland you never did respond to my identification of my role as a mother in terms of self evaluation. I thought for sure you would pick up on that one....your slipping my friend

    PS....We've really got our work cut out for us...do you see this as an unforeseen situation????

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-04-2005 at 11:26 AM.

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 12:13 PM   #126
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    . I believe what YBF and I actually seek from each other is spiritual in nature; basically it’s about whether He has abandoned our families or if He is deeply testing our faith in Him. MBF asked me to tell you that she has never felt abandoned or as if her faith is being tested...I will tell you that she is a Born Again Christian as is her husband....I am Catholic with a Christian Spirituality but would say that her faith is so much more a part of her life than mine is. She also said to tell you that she does see her role in this as more of a way of helping Mrs. Heartland So you may want to alert Mrs. H.
    I’m glad she sees a role in helping my wife; we need all the vision we can get for this to work. Personally, I feel He’s testing me but I’m not sure why. (maybe life’s been too easy before all this? ) I consider myself a Born Again Catholic and as I understand you, they are non-Catholic. (I.E., the week’s gospel and homilies probably won’t correlate for all of us)

    Quote:
    For reasons I am not at liberty to disclose...MBF may not be able to post on behalf of herself and so I may have to act on her behalf if she so chooses.
    I can imagine some good reasons, too, so her decision makes perfect sense to me.

    Quote:
    Also...what my friend wants you to understand at this point is how on a daily basis she is frustrated by the fact how her husband has allowed his understanding of the Bible to misdirect his responsibilities.....he sees it as his ministry to God coming above all else even when it comes to family. His interpretation is that God and ministry to God come above family and that they will be provided for so long as he believes that. The same bible has my friend and I clearly interpreting our lives as putting God first, then family and then ministry to God.
    Interesting. As I remember it, some gospels talk about how Christ asked some of His followers to drop everything, leave family (without kissing them goodbye?) and immediately follow Him. I heard a homily years ago that put this into context but it escapes me for the moment.

    Quote:
    My friend does not see God as abandoning them, rather she sees her husband as misguiding them by his interpretation.
    Wow, changing his interpretation… We will have to be inspired to do that and the message must be delivered properly. Tall order for humans; peanuts for Him. “where two or more gather in My name, I will be in their midst” seems to apply here.

    Quote:
    Back on the road again and knowing that there's a Rainbow at the End
    I hope the pot at the end of the rainbow isn’t empty.


    Proxy vs. instruments/vessels
    A proxy is defined as “somebody authorized to substitute for somebody else”. Does that definition seem too authoritative for a human? If so, I’d select “channel” (as in a channel of His peace) or “conduit” as alternatives preferable to the passive sounding “instruments/vessels”. I’m willing to bargain.

    Quote:
    I know that you and I could write many a parable together...beautiful ones too...perhaps an idea in terms of a career????
    I can visualize a “Goodeon’s” Bible in every hotel room. Seriously, I’m not feeling inspired by Him about it at the moment…


    Quote:
    you never did respond to my identification of my role as a mother in terms of self evaluation. I thought for sure you would pick up on that one....your slipping my friend
    Seriously, I can’t place that reference; you got me there. (is “mother of self evaluation” a reference to Frank Zappa? )

    Quote:
    We've really got our work cut out for us...do you see this as an unforeseen situation????
    He takes big steps. Maybe my answers are at the end of this “unforeseen situation”

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 12:32 PM   #127
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Okay, my friend from your last post a see there's a need for a tune to assist us on our travels....I am beginning to sense your fear ( a metaphysical sense ) So I was tucking this one away for just the right moment....so take a moment and listen to the words of the beautiful Celine who Goody was so lucky to have seen her singing live..."A New Day"


    A new day, oh..oh..
    A new day, oh..oh..
    I was waiting for so long
    For a miracle to come
    Everyone told me to be strong
    Hold on and don’t shed a tear

    Through the darkness and good times
    I knew I’d make it through
    And the world thought I had it all
    But I was waiting for you

    Hush, now

    I see a light in the sky
    Oh, it’s almost blinding me
    I can’t believe
    I’ve been touched by an angel with love

    Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
    Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
    Let it shatter the walls for a new sun

    A new day has... come

    Oh...

    Where it was dark now there’s light
    Where there was pain now there’s joy
    Where there was weakness, I found my strength
    All on a yellow brick road

    Hush, now

    I see a light in the sky
    Oh, it’s almost blinding me
    I can’t believe
    I’ve been touched by an angel with love

    Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
    Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
    Let it shatter the walls for a new sun

    A new day has...

    Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
    Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
    Let it shatter the walls for a new sun

    A new day has... come

    Ohhh

    Hush, now

    I see a light in your eyes
    All in the vision of a friend
    I can’t believe
    I’ve been touched by an angel with love

    I can’t believe
    I’ve been touched by an angel with love

    Hush, now
    (ahh..ahh...
    A new day...
    Ahh..ahh..)
    Hush, now
    (ahh..ahh..
    A new day...)

    I'm here, my friend, and it's gonna be okay....Goody

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 03:00 PM   #128
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    I had to check out your lyrics against the original lyrics. I must say I'm quite impressed... and touched. Have you been into lyrics and the like to this degree prior to Nini’s current thread? You’re really rippin’ now!

    Yesterday, I got a sign like you predicted… around sunset. It involves the hobbies of various family members that could pan out to complement some of what I’m currently considering. It will need some research…

    I updated my wife about today’s happenings here and the post I’m working on. (I hope to finish the post tonight.) She’s okay with it but is concerned that I seem to spend most of my time posting on this thread. However, she agrees if it leads soon to His perfect job for me, it will all be worthwhile. No pressure here.

    I told her you were planning to write her at a suitable time. She said, “I don’t plan to write back!” She wasn’t born to post, I guess.

    Last edited by heartlandguy; 03-04-2005 at 03:02 PM.

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 03:46 PM   #129
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    I’m glad she sees a role in helping my wife; we need all the vision we can get for this to work. Personally, I feel He’s testing me but I’m not sure why. (maybe life’s been too easy before all this? ) I consider myself a Born Again Catholic and as I understand you, they are non-Catholic. (I.E., the week’s gospel and homilies probably won’t correlate for all of us)
    R-E-L-A-X....and allow things to unfold as they always have so wonderfully. Has there ever been anything that you doubted when it comes to our "channeling" together???? I have no doubts or expectations....just knowing that there is a purpose to all this from when I first posted the thread to it's completion...in fact YOU were the one who saw it's purpose so why all the doubting, Thomas????. MBF was raised Catholic but is attending a Christian church. I am a born again Catholic in the sense that I accepted Jesus at a Pentecostal service at one of my college roomate's church So I guess I am born again Catholic as well. MBF and MBFH are both Born Again Christians her with a Catholic background/upbringing. Should be an interesting combo...but the faith and trust is there which is all we need

    Interesting. As I remember it, some gospels talk about how Christ asked some of His followers to drop everything, leave family (without kissing them goodbye?) and immediately follow Him. I heard a homily years ago that put this into context but it escapes me for the moment. I'm certain that my friend will know exactly how to address this since her interpretation is strongly convicted.

    Wow, changing his interpretation… We will have to be inspired to do that and the message must be delivered properly. Tall order for humans; peanuts for Him. “where two or more gather in My name, I will be in their midst” seems to apply here. I have seen biger miracles in my life...and there is power in threes....and the verse of scripture you quote is a sure thing





    A proxy is defined as “somebody authorized to substitute for somebody else”. Does that definition seem too authoritative for a human? If so, I’d select “channel” (as in a channel of His peace) or “conduit” as alternatives preferable to the passive sounding “instruments/vessels”. I’m willing to bargain. I think we'll stick with "channel" for now.....try it out as i did in the beginning here and see if it goes alright.


    Seriously, I can’t place that reference; you got me there. (is “mother of self evaluation” a reference to Frank Zappa? ) It was on K's thread...in my long post so you are excused....you have enough on your plate right now.

    He takes big steps. Maybe my answers are at the end of this “unforeseen situation” Was referring to your posting hours.....evenings are out unless unusual situations occur

    I think I need for you to catch up for now....as far as your next post, lyrics were always a part of my spirituality...in fact my pentecostal spanish roommate was absolutely amazed when a song would come on and I could sing all the words. Today..the songs I posted were playing as I prepared my posts....amazingly significant to each thread Signs....Heartland, it's all about signs. And as far as Mrs. Heartland....she needn't write back...you do a good enough job for the two of you...you just be the channel of getting my post to her ......Goody

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 06:43 PM   #130
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    If you don't mind me asking....how long has it been since you've held a job?? And I always wonder why you consider your wife a saint.....why is that??? Just a friend asking hehehehehehe .....Goody
    how long has it been since you've held a job??
    I’m self-employed so my answer requires lots of context to make sense. Before this thread finishes, I believe you will need to know about some of my general background and values so I’ll provide that now.

    After about a year in college, I quit going to church. A year and a half later, I felt totally lost; my life made no sense. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I needed God to provide direction to my life. When I went back to the Catholic Church, I was finally committed to being Catholic. Unlike before, I wasn’t going to church just because I had been raised that way. (Because of this important change in perspective, I now consider myself a born-again Catholic) Very soon after that, the gospels (ones I’d heard a dozen times before) and homilies seemed very personal because they specifically addressed my immediate needs. (Shock and awe ) Once I got my life back on track, that phenomenon stopped but whenever I have major issues, that week’s gospel and homily address my needs. It last happened several weeks ago in relationship to this thread. I told my wife to expect that before the mass; when she heard my answer come off the priest’s lips, she turned her head and stared at me. Whenever I’ve followed the “advice”, good things have happened for us. Other than for that phenomenon, my life seemed quite normal until I became self-employed.

    Prior to being self-employed, my wife and I were quite frugal and accumulated a very nice savings. We decided that I should become self-employed after several major changes occurred in our lives in quick succession. We still believe that we did it for all the right reasons and it allowed me to do several things that have really benefited our family. To this day, we think God wanted me to become self-employed at that time. However, self-employment has not been a financial success and He has been strangely silent on this topic – until this thread.

    Within the first year, I took a highly-regarded entrepreneurial training course that helped everyone but me. The instructor acknowledged midway through the course that he couldn’t put his finger on what I needed to know or do but he was sure I’d be fine because I was a good student. Over the years, I’ve tried to make several changes that seemed promising but didn’t pan out. Work has always been sporadic at best. We have survived financially by being very selective and frugal, depending on my wife’s income and benefits, and by tapping into our savings. Looking back, it’s hard for me to fathom that we could survive as well as we have for so long. I definitely believe He is watching over us; somehow He’s multiplying the loaves and dollars. However, the last two years have been really difficult… sort of one-step forward, two-steps back. Most of the savings are gone and neither of us is quite sure of what we need to do. For example, we have avoided the thought of moving since almost all of what we hold dear to us is nearby. Since the start of the year, I have applied for several jobs but I haven’t even been selected for an interview yet. Frankly, my talents don’t seem to fit classic job descriptions very well. My previous employers usually had me fill several “hats” after a short time on the job and most HR people don’t know what to make of me. I still don’t feel that He wants me to be classically employed.

    Until this thread, I could see no end to His test of our patience and faith. Things look more promising today. Ultimately, I want to feel that I’m following His will since I had that feeling with all my previous jobs.

    I always wonder why you consider your wife a saint.....why is that?
    I believe that very few women could tolerate these last few years. Thank God she is not a materialistic woman. Amazingly, we have become closer as the outlook has become worse. I’m a very lucky guy to have found her. Probably the most incredible thing is that she is not meek in any sense of the word, yet she is uncharacteristically stoic about our situation.

    Last edited by heartlandguy; 03-04-2005 at 09:14 PM. Reason: typos

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 08:27 PM   #131
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Heartland....I just saw your post and read through it once and would like to read through it again before responding...if you will be up for a while and it doesn't interfere with evening plans with you & Mrs. H I will respond tonite. Otherwise i will do so tomorrow....just let me know..Goody

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 09:11 PM   #132
    heartlandguy
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Thanks for the update, Goodie. I will probably turn off the computer in about 15 minutes unless I see your post by then. Either way, I probably won't reply until sometime tomorrow.

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 09:28 PM   #133
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    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Very soon after that, the gospels (ones I’d heard a dozen times before) and homilies seemed very personal because they specifically addressed my immediate needs. (Shock and awe ) Once I got my life back on track, that phenomenon stopped but whenever I have major issues, that week’s gospel and homily address my needs.

    Heartland.....If I am understanding you correctly you are saying that the only times you really saw the Gospels/Homilies being significant in your life were when you were at a low point in your life??? But that when you were in a good point in your life there was no message or "shock and awe"???? I just want to make sure that my interpretation is correct.

    Other than for that phenomenon, my life seemed quite normal until I became self-employed. I am desperately trying to pinpoint the amount of time you have been self-employed. If I am correct I would estimate it as being over 5 years. If i am prying too much please let me know.

    Prior to being self-employed, my wife and I were quite frugal and accumulated a very nice savings. We decided that I should become self-employed after several major changes occurred in our lives in quick succession. We still believe that we did it for all the right reasons and it allowed me to do several things that have really benefited our family. To this day, we think God wanted me to become self-employed at that time. However, self-employment has not been a financial success and He has been strangely silent on this topic – until this thread. So it was a mutual decision for you to become self employed. It served it's purpose in terms of addressing your family's needs at the time and you both viewed it at the time as God's will at the time???? How long has it been that you or your wife no longer saw it as being God's will or that one of you no longer saw it as the best plan for your family??? And who was it that had a change of heart???

    Within the first year, I took a highly-regarded entrepreneurial training course that helped everyone but me. The instructor acknowledged midway through the course that he couldn’t put his finger on what I needed to know or do but he was sure I’d be fine because I was a good student. Over the years, I’ve tried to make several changes that seemed promising but didn’t pan out. Okay....things didn't work out in terms of how you saw your career choices going. Did you have a backup plan and how was your wife feeling during this time???

    Work has always been sporadic at best. We have survived financially by being very selective and frugal, depending on my wife’s income and benefits, and by tapping into our savings. Looking back, it’s hard for me to fathom that we could survive as well as we have for so long. I definitely believe He is watching over us; somehow He’s multiplying the loaves and dollars. However, the last two years have been really difficult… sort of one-step forward, two-steps back. Most of the savings are gone and neither of us is quite sure what we need to do. For example, we have avoided the thought of moving since almost of what we hold dear to us is nearby. Since the start of the year, I have applied for several jobs but I haven’t even been selected for an interview yet. Frankly, my talents don’t seem to fit classic job descriptions very well. My previous employers usually had me fill several “hats” after a short time on the job and most HR people don’t know what to make of me. I still don’t feel that He wants me to be classically employed.

    Again I must ask....was it still at this time mutually agreed upon that you remain self employed??? And if you couldn't find a job that specifically fit your talents were you open to others that would help assist in your family's financial needs??? I do not mean to offend, Heartland, but when you saw things as depleting your savings to the point of nearing nothing doesn't it make sense to seek gainful employment in order to alleviate the stress and provide the security that your family needs??? Remember my advice to MBFH, "God helps those who help themselves". We have faith but we must be careful as to not use it as a crutch. Remember, I am your friend and will be honest enough to tell you how I see things

    Until this thread, I could see no end to His test of our patience and faith. Things look more promising today. Ultimately, I want to feel that I’m following His will since I had that feeling with all my previous jobs. Heartland....I am going to be bluntly honest here as if I were talking to MBF and MBFH....you cannot expect God to will you unemployed or provide you with the ideal job. With faith we can achieve many of our dreams but we must use our hands, minds, legs, and eyes to lead us to a job any job to provide for our family and provide for their needs particularly security. In a marriage the burden should be shared not displaced onto one unless there are extenuating circumstances. God tells us He will give us a "helpmate" someone we can trust to share in the hardhsips of marriage....financial or otherwise.


    I believe that very few women could tolerate these last few years. Thank God she is not a materialistic woman. Amazingly, we have become closer as the outlook has become worse. I’m a very lucky guy to have found her. Probably the most incredible thing is that she is not meek in any sense of the word, yet she is uncharacteristically stoic about our situation I have a feeling that MBF will play an important role in allowing you to understand how your wife's "uncharactersitic stoic" behavior has come to be.

    Heartland.....you have so trustingly beared your soul here. And I can see how this thread was an amazing catalyst in God sending you a clear message of how things need to change. And it has positively motivated you which leaves me to believe that you are a few steps ahead of MBFH. I care for you dearly and want you to know most of all how proud I am of your courage and bravery to post here. You have just taken your first step in facing your fears. And I am here for the entire journey as you were for me and continue to be. i will be talking ti MBF tomorrow & we will post more. I am praying that nothing I have asked or said in my response will cause you pain or loss of sleep. I care for you and anything I say here is said because I do....Goody

    PS...Please give me a smilie to let me know that I have not troubled you in anyway......

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-04-2005 at 09:38 PM.

     
    Old 03-05-2005, 06:45 AM   #134
    goody2shuz
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: May 2004
    Location: New York
    Posts: 5,805
    goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    PS...Please give me a smilie to let me know that I have not troubled you in anyway......
    Good morning, my friend When I didn't get my smilie I took it as if I may have hit another nerve But then....perhaps you didn't see this. In any case I wanted to tell you that my heart was eased by a revelation by God in my dream last night. I rarely remember my dreams but this is as clear as any I can remember, so vivid that I can actually post as I saw in my dream!!!!! You will see, as I have, that clearly His hand is in all this. My dream was a continuim of my awaiting a response of a smiley and seeing one arrive on my computer screen with the following posted by you..... : "If I had to give you a smiley it would have to be this one but just in case that doesn't do it I am supplying you with a few more " Later my friend - Heartland When I woke up this morning the first thing I did was run to my computer screen in order to see if it was actually a dream or real!!! But to me it is as real as can be......and I am sure you know what I mean.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartland
    I admire your high standards and your courage to speak out. That’s the kind of friend I want and need. A lesser person would have told me what they thought I wanted to hear.
    I also wanted to pull this quote up to explain where my questions and comments came from in response to your most recent post. I had a choice...to coddle you and thus be a lesser person or to seek more info with direct questioning and using my courage to speak out thus being the kind of friend you want and need. It was a difficult task but I am your friend and because I am, my responses were as such. (My phone just rang and it was MBF who wished for me to tell you that she will be responding sometime this morning through me)

    However, self-employment has not been a financial success and He has been strangely silent on this topic – until this thread. Until this thread, I could see no end to His test of our patience and faith. Things look more promising today. Ultimately, I want to feel that I’m following His will since I had that feeling with all my previous jobs.

    My dearest friend.....I cannot tell you how confident I am that things are going to change for you only because as you clearly state in these two quotes, you are open to change and listening to how God is directing you.
    That, my friend will make all the difference.

    I am going to post this and will be available most of the morning and part of the afternoon....we are getting together this evening with the fab four so I will be out tonite. Heartland.....there is lots more for me to share....the thoughts just won't stop coming and He as well as two convicted women are going to see you through this!!!!!!.....Goody

    PS....I have composed a letter for Mrs. H. Let me know if you are there to receive it and once you have channeld it to her I would like to edit so let me know when you can be there to do so and post when you are done so that I can make the appropriate changes.

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-05-2005 at 06:52 AM.

     
    Old 03-05-2005, 07:47 AM   #135
    heartlandguy
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Aug 2004
    Location: Nebraska
    Posts: 1,311
    heartlandguy HB User
    Re: What's a Friend to Do?

    Goody, I really need your friendship and trust now.

    Your last post was what I expected because it was consistent with what you have told YBF. For the time being, I can’t reply to that post because long suppressed feelings have reemerged. I must deal with those feelings before I can return to being my normal, logical, anal-retentive self.

    Please realize that I have a lot of pain associated with my situation. I discussed our last posts a bit with my wife this morning but quickly realized that I had to stop. In recent years, I have internalized much of my pain and frustration because sharing it with her brings her down needlessly. She is my rock and I must keep her solid for the both of us. As I told you on your marriage thread, you can’t tell your SO everything without risking your relationship so sometimes you must dump on your best friend… or implode.

    I think I can convey my fears and frustrations best by relating my situation to things we know from this board. I am so much like Nini; that is why I can feel her pain so strongly. {{{Please try and think about the many parallels that she and I share in not finding what we are looking for. That is your homework assignment for this weekend. }}} Also, I can relate much of my reluctance for change to your experiences with leaving your fiancé. I plan to write about these analogies later, when I can think clearly again. Emotions and time restraints may prevent me from doing that this weekend.

    Goody, if I try to relate to you by referencing your fiancé, I’m sure I’ll bring up painful memories for you. If you don’t trust that I am trying to communicate my feelings in the best way I know how, you may think I am angry with you and am lashing out. I’d rather say nothing than make you feel that way. Do you understand what I’m saying? Do you want me to continue? Oh, yeah, friends need to share smileys…

    PS: Just as I was ready to post (we're leaving for a while), I saw you posted this morning. I will read it after I post. Hopefully, it uplifting... I need that now.

     
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