It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • Never going to have a gf

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 02-28-2005, 07:58 PM   #1
    Andrew29
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Andrew29's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2001
    Posts: 783
    Andrew29 HB User
    Unhappy Never going to have a gf

    I'm currently 21 and recently realized how pathetic my life really is. As embarrassing as it is to say, I've never kissed a girl or even had a real girlfriend.

    At about age 18, is when I really started to ask out girls. In the last 3 years, I've tried to hook up with a total of 8 girls; all of which rejected me. 2 had boyfriends, so there was nothing I could have done there. The other 6, all said "yes" and gave me their phone numbers. 2/6 girls had even given me their phone numbers without me even asking; they had just offered after our conversation was done. And when the 1st call was made, all 6 had changed their minds to "no". Keep in mind the age factor, so it's not like these girls are "too busy" or not ready to date. I try to not take things too personally, but it's obvious it is something personal about me. And it's not as if I had said/done something stupid between the time I got their # and the time I had first called. Some of the girls won't even talk to me on the phone, they just screen my call or tell me that they'll call me later and never do. I don't know why this is happening to me. One date is all I ask for. If they say "no" after that 1st date, then I can understand, but none of these girls will even give me a chance.

    A lot of you are probably thinking of saying, it's no big deal, keep trying and something will happen. I used to think that, but it doesn't seem to be happening. My resolution when I started college was to not wait so long after 1 rejection before asking out another girl. So this year, after 1 rejection, 2 weeks later I asked out another girl, and yet again,another rejection! IF I ever get a girl, I'm going to have ZERO experience with the relationship. I still can't believe I'm 21 with no experience and still haven't even kissed a girl. This stuff gets me so depressed during the day that I can barely focus on school anymore. I really hate my life.

    Last edited by Andrew29; 02-28-2005 at 08:06 PM.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 02-28-2005, 08:06 PM   #2
    ripod
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Posts: 163
    ripod HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Andrew29
    I can barely focus on school anymore. I really hate my life.

    Me too.

     
    Old 02-28-2005, 08:18 PM   #3
    Warren_G
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Posts: 160
    Warren_G HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Its alright man keep ya head up, mix up your style change your clothes do your hair, your 21, you should hit up the clubs, dont get down man its nothin to be down about.

     
    Old 02-28-2005, 08:41 PM   #4
    ForgottenFaith
    Veteran
    (male)
     
    ForgottenFaith's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2002
    Location: LA,CA,USA
    Posts: 397
    ForgottenFaith HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Keep your head up, man. You're talking like it's the end of the world. You're 21 years young and there's no reason why your experience with girls or lack thereof should be bothering you. It can be depressing in itself, but you're still young. Don't let it bother you so much because it shows. You're never going to get a girl like that, because if you're not comfortable with the person you are, how do you expect a girl to be? Exude confidence and you'll be good. If you get rejected brush it off and keep trying. Everyone gets rejected, everyone.

     
    Old 02-28-2005, 08:57 PM   #5
    MarifromPR
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Mar 2002
    Location: PR
    Posts: 118
    MarifromPR HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    andrew im sorry to hear about ya. I was just not attractive looking in high school so no guys wanted to ask me out. I was skinny and I had acne. Unfortunatetly this world is all about looks, the more good looking the more dates you will get. Only few people go beyond physical appearance specially at your age. Do you feel you are attractive looking?

     
    Old 02-28-2005, 11:01 PM   #6
    Andrew29
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Andrew29's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2001
    Posts: 783
    Andrew29 HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    I realize that 21 is still young. However, at age 21, I am definetly "behind in the game" of dating and relationships. I live in a big city, and from what I hear from younger people, people are starting to become sexual active before high school, so who knows how young their first kiss was at. Let's be realistic, how many 21 year olds do you know that have NEVER kissed someone of the opposite sex? Really think about that one. (Excluding people who may have a type of social anxiety disorder).

    MarifromPR, do I find myself attractive... I'd probably say a 7/10. When I do get rejected, I don't usually blame my looks. I think these girls have looked past looks because they didn't immediately say "I have a bf" and they gave me their phone numbers as well. Maybe some were just being nice, but what about the ones who offered their phone numbers to me. I probably would have more success if i was better looking, but I think it's something else...what is making all these girls change their mind..

     
    Old 03-01-2005, 09:37 AM   #7
    XxWonderingxX
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    XxWonderingxX's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2005
    Posts: 34
    XxWonderingxX HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Hey Andrew,
    I'm sorry you're having trouble, I know it can easily start to get you down. Without knowing you, I can't really give you specific advice. I agree with what someone else said in an earlier post, try changing your approach a little or something. And from a 19, soon to be 20, yrs old female's opinion, when you finally do find a great girl to start a relationship with, she will probably be honored to be your first kiss. I mean, think about it, like you said it is not a common thing for someone our age not to have kissed anyone. So how many guys out there have that to offer a girl? I know the girl you choose will be flattered. Good luck with everything, and don't let it get you too depressed. The right girl will come along, it just happens later rather than sooner for some.

    Keep you chin up!
    XxWonderingxX

     
    Old 03-02-2005, 09:57 AM   #8
    ~*johanna*~
    Junior Member
     
    ~*johanna*~'s Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2004
    Posts: 30
    ~*johanna*~ HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MarifromPR
    andrew im sorry to hear about ya. I was just not attractive looking in high school so no guys wanted to ask me out. I was skinny and I had acne. Unfortunatetly this world is all about looks, the more good looking the more dates you will get. Only few people go beyond physical appearance specially at your age.
    Exactly! It sucks being this age. Everyone is obsessed with looks and "sexiness". I'm 18 and never had a boyfriend OR even kissed a guy. That's ok, but I know how hard it is. As I told the other guy on his post, try and focus on other parts of your life that you enjoy. Don't try too hard. Sooner or later (doesn't matter which) we'll both find someone who we'll click with. Keep living every day to its fullest, and know you're not alone!

     
    Old 03-02-2005, 01:06 PM   #9
    ihateusernames6
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Posts: 16
    ihateusernames6 HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 16 and I dont think Ill ever have a girlfriend either. I'm pretty much convinced that no girl could ever like me too.

     
    Old 03-05-2005, 06:35 PM   #10
    Trainwatcher
    Newbie
    (male)
     
    Trainwatcher's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 2
    Trainwatcher HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Andrew:
    I wish I had something to say that would make you feel better. I am in the same boat as you only older. I will be 38 the end of this month and I have yet to kiss a girl or really date. I have lost count on the amount of times I have tried and failed in this department and like you I get pretty down in the dumps about it. It seems like anyone you talk to has the same answer being oh dont worry about it the right one will come along, or.... she wasnt meant for you anyway... etc etc. I have no doubt in my mind that the ones saying this say it with the best of intentions but it sure does get tiresome.

    Please dont do like I have and become so bitter about it that you just give up and stay so busy that you dont have time to think about it as it isnt healthy. I have pretty well come to the conclusion for myself that if I somehow broke into a womans prison I would still be eating alone.

    Like you, I dont see myself as being a bad looking guy. I have all my teeth and know the importance of cleanliness and I definately dont look like I fell out of an ugly tree and hit every stinkin limb on the way down, so I dont think its an ugly issue.

    I dont go to night clubs to find dates. I want someone to have genuine feelings in return for me not feelings through the eyes of alcohol.

    Understand that you are not alone as there is atleast 2 people in the United States that have the same issues.

    Good luck!!

     
    Old 03-06-2005, 04:35 AM   #11
    The only name not taken
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    The only name not taken's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2003
    Location: Australia
    Posts: 686
    The only name not taken HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MarifromPR
    Unfortunatetly this world is all about looks, the more good looking the more dates you will get. Only few people go beyond physical appearance specially at your age.
    Thats very true - but attitude is just as important, if not more - especially to those that actually matter in life.

    Cant say I've ever seen myself as beauty padgent material. I was NEVER popular in my high school, yet I still get my fair share of girls. (and they aren't bad either).

    The best thing I've found is to not go looking. When ever or looking for a girl to go out with / pick up / what ever, you nearly always act differently to impress. I think its that difference that wreckes what ever chances you have with the person.
    eg) 100% of the girls I have asked out have said no! Seriously 100%! Which means everyone of the girls I've been with have asked me out when I wasn't really expecting it. And as I said, its not cos I'm terribly great lookin, but cos I wasn't trying so hard to impress.

    So, if your not havin a huge amount of luck with the ladies atm - As said, mix things up abit. Instead of heading out, hell bent on picking up - Just head out looking for a good time with friends or whatever. One thing I've found to be true about the human race. We always want what we cant have - If your not out to impress, its gonna seem like your not interested, which will make a slightly interested girl, a whole lot more interested.

    GL
    __________________
    [-]Better To Die On Your Feet, Then Live On Your Knees[-]

     
    Old 03-07-2005, 10:08 PM   #12
    Calamity04
    Member
     
    Calamity04's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2004
    Posts: 78
    Calamity04 HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Do you know what you are looking for in a girlfriend? Knowing the answer to the question will help you out greatly. If not, or even if you know, write out a list of the qualities you are looking for. Then socialize yourself, at a party only talk to a girl for a couple of minutes, ask for her number if you like her, then move on and circulate the room. Something someone told me a long time ago was, when meeting someone new after greeting them, ask them three questions about themselves(but don't give them the third degree) and by the end of the conversation they will think you are the most interesting person in the room because you were interested in them, if they don't answer your questions and don't show interest then move on to someone who does.The next party you go to don't leave until you have at least 5 numbers, depending on the size of the party. Then call them the next day, don't try to be cool and put it off for a couple of days by then they might have forgotten who you were.

    I can't beleive that you have never ever been kissed by a girl, maybe not passsionately but a peck on the lips? If not then start, there nothing wrong with a peck on the lips or cheek of a friend, assuming you have friends that are girls and you have at least hugged a girl. And if you don't even hug girls, start!

    Last edited by Calamity04; 03-07-2005 at 10:15 PM.

     
    Old 03-09-2005, 10:05 PM   #13
    Andrew29
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Andrew29's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2001
    Posts: 783
    Andrew29 HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    I'm not quite sure what I wanted to hear from this post, but I do appreciate the replies from everyone. The lucks seem to be still in the dumps. I met a girl at a bar the other day, got her e-mail and phone #. We had some nice conversations on MSN messenger. But, then when I ask to meet up and hang out ...rejected again. Like honestly, what the **** is going on. It just seems that there is some paranormal force that is keeping girls from even giving me a chance.

    Last edited by Andrew29; 03-09-2005 at 10:23 PM.

     
    Old 03-10-2005, 11:11 AM   #14
    ripod
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Posts: 163
    ripod HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Dang dude, sometimes this happen to me too. Ain't this world just ****ed up?

    Last edited by ripod; 03-10-2005 at 11:12 AM.

     
    Old 03-11-2005, 07:03 PM   #15
    nodda
    Junior Member
    (male)
     
    nodda's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2004
    Posts: 13
    nodda HB User
    Re: Never going to have a gf

    Hey man,

    Reading your post, I can feel your pain. I am 24, will be 25 in November, and like you, have never once had success with a woman. Having finished one Uni degree and returning for a second, I have yet once to find one girl who liked me enough to want to go out with me. Last year, I had the unfortunate experience of being interested in a girl, and although I never asked her out or anything, she virtually ignored me for 3 months, and I had to work with her! Right now there is a girl I am interested in, and who supposedly seems interested in me, but my confidence is so extremely low that I am completely afraid of asking her out in the first place. Pretty much all of my friends have had experiences with girls, and I am the lone wolf. So, I hope that things work out for you! Good luck, people like us could use it!

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Feels like I can never do anything in my life. Anguished Depression 10 06-23-2012 03:52 PM
    What is left for me in the future, ive never felt so alone than what I do right now!! alanmcm Relationship Health 8 03-16-2010 12:52 AM
    I dont feel like I fit and I never will again Nextor Mental Health 3 10-12-2009 11:25 AM
    Help Please No Test But Said It Was Acid Never Heard Of Lpr angeleyes4458 Acid Reflux / GERD 12 04-25-2006 12:24 PM
    i will never ever have sex again scaredhelp1087 Herpes 6 12-01-2005 09:06 PM
    Boyfriend never wants to see me jessica129 Relationship Health 5 11-04-2005 06:27 AM
    feel like your going to start-but never do madison55 Menopause 13 05-18-2004 09:23 AM
    I've never been so angry in my life! How do I stop obssessing? star44 Anger Management 14 01-25-2003 01:42 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:30 PM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!