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-   -   Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/relationship-health/260441-should-i-worried-girlfriend-going-cancun-7-nights.html)

JetHot 03-08-2005 12:19 AM

Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
My girlfriend went to Cancun, Mexico. She left sunday and wont be back till next sunday. This is the longest we will be away from each other since we have been together. She is going with her parents aswell to spend time with them, but of course they'll be nights when she'll just go out and do her thing.Though she tells me I have nothing to worry about and that she loves me so much, I still have that insecurity. I'm already an insecure person and this just heightens it. I question her love and sometimes she gets mad. Thing is my girlfriend is a VERY flirtatious person. She is very friendly and will talk to anyone, shes always hugging my friends, pinching their nipples, harmless stuff because we are all friends and all my friends think my girlfriend is very cool. Everyone keeps saying "Shes going to cancun for 7 nights? WITHOUT YOU? damn **** that"

I love her to death but she has lied to me before about things so it wont hurt my feelings, but it hurts even worse when I find out later. Im missing her so much already. Should I be worried? I wont question her about anything because I want both of our spring breaks to be fun, even though mine is REALLY ******.

Thanks

Hoop 03-08-2005 03:59 AM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
WHy don't you make your own plans for the spring break and help take some of the worry off thinking about your girlfriend? Go have your own fun without her. I would.

here4support 03-08-2005 06:23 AM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
[COLOR=DarkOrchid]Hi there :wave:

Unfortunatley from what you have just said, I think I'd be a little worried too. I've been to Cancun 3 times. Twice with friends and once with my husband. When I went with my friends, it was a wild crazy time. Those Mexican guys over there at the resorts look for us American crazy girls...they love to talk to us....they flirt...and I'm guessing if she is a flirtatious girl they will flirt with her and she will bite for the attention.

The first time I went to Cancun, I went with my one friend. She ended up leaving me in the middle of the night and went to be with this guy. :eek: It was scaring not knowing where she was for about 6 hours. All I'm telling you is, if you feel "red flags" in your heart about this relationship when she is here, chances are she is probably going to do whatever over there.....

Good luck[/COLOR]

Hangin in There 03-08-2005 06:27 AM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
On the bright side, she won't see those guys again........hopefully. ;)

GirlHarley 03-08-2005 06:42 AM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
Jethot, your going to have to do your own thing and try hard not to think about WHAT your girlfriend is doing in Cancun - after all she is also there with her family.

Trust is something that is earned, and if you feel you can't trust your girlfriend you need to look further in the relationship and where you want it to be.

I too have been to Cancun, it was awesome, loads of fun and yeah there are MEN everywhere just has there was Hot Babes there too...Too bad you couldn't have joined her with her family....

and, What goes on in Cancun Stays In Cancun -

here4support 03-08-2005 06:58 AM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
[COLOR=DarkOrchid]In agreeance with GirlHarley, HOWEVER- if you are in a relationship, you don't go to CANCUN and do some of the stuff I saw girls over there doing (and guys). :nono: [/COLOR]

edved2001 03-08-2005 08:21 AM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
Well, i'm sure these relplies aren't what you want to hear. First off, i'm not sure how old you or your GF are. High school or college spring break? She is going with her parents, so that's definetly a plus. When she "does her own thing", do you think she'd go out to the bars by herself? I mean, that usually requires getting on a bus late at night in Mexico. I've been there, and even the locals are looking for action. It'd be a scary ride for me alone... not to mention being a young lady. How big were the lies you've caught her in before? Worth stressing over this?
Cancun is what you make it. It's either a giant party or a relaxing get away... great for diving. It's just one of those things that you have to deal with in life. Try not to let it eat at you. Be happy for her that she had a good time, but keep your ears perked. If something happened, she'll tell somebody and it'll most likely get back to you. But don't assume anything. Be supportive and act like you had a great time as well. You don't need to ruin a good thing over speculation alone. Let us know how it all works out.

lisa24 03-08-2005 09:35 AM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
I'd be worried. That's the way it goes when you have a relationship with a liar, if you aren't worrying about one thing, it will be something else. There's no rest for the thoughts.
Personally, I'd recommend finding someone who you can trust.

wildcat66 03-08-2005 12:07 PM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
From what you say I would be worried as well, if you were telling the opposite of what you have I would say no need to worry but it sounds to me like she isnt the type I would trust either. She shouldnt be lying,hugging or flirting with anyone if you 2 are in an exclusive relationship .My ex was a lier she couldnt be trusted and I worried when she went on a vacation with friends. Turns out I had reason to I found out and I wont say how but she had sex with a man she met in a club. Now on the other hand the person I am with now if she went somewhere without me for 7 days I would not worry one bit....just an example of the difference between someone that you trust and someone who has lied to you in the past. iTS ALOT NICER WHEN THERE IS TRUST !!

sugar.coma 03-08-2005 12:32 PM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
ha, you might not want to read my thread if youre looking for confidance. good luck on that buddy! and i agree with the others, go out and have a good...remember what its like to bo one your own! :cool: :jester:

JetHot 03-08-2005 12:48 PM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
Wow, lots of replies. Defineitly some things to think about. It sucks thinking about it all day and night. She kept getting mad at me when I would ask her if she would promise me she would tell me if she did anything wrong in cancun. I just wish she would have said something like "Nothing will happen, but i promise you i'll tell you" rather than saying "Your going to **** me off, dont say that". And as for the whole what happens in cancun stays in cancun... Well that very well may be, but I surely hope she'll tell me if she does something wrong. I love her to death but if she tells me she even kisses a guy in cancun, its over. I've went through a alot of ******** with her, when we finally worked our differences things started improving (thats after I had to change my life, not her)

We are young, 20 years old, we've been friends since high school and I think I can see myself marrying her sometimes.

We'll just have to wait and see what happens. I probably wont see her till Monday, and i'll ask her... and i'll keep everyone updated.

Thanks

edved2001 03-08-2005 01:10 PM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
Sounds like your girlfriend and my girlfriend could be very good friends :rolleyes: I know all about the reassurance factor (read my thread if you'd like an example). Just know that the only reason she would tell you if something happened is if she's already wanting an excuse to get out. If she has no plans on leaving you, then trust me when I say, you'll NEVER get anything out of her. Now, this is just assuming that something happens down there. I truly hope that she's a good girl and you're just being paranoid, but you know her better than anyone. Try not to nag her to much when she gets home... you'll get that classis BS line :"Now I wish I would have messed around, jeez!!!". I've heard that before too.
Definetly keep us informed and good luck to you.

Muscn 03-08-2005 01:53 PM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
I know EXACTLY what youre going through. I was dating a woman last year who went to Mexico on her own. We had only been dating a few months at the time and I was insecure as hell about it. I basically barely slept or ate the whole time she was gone because I drove myself so nuts thinking about things.

To make things worse, I kind of did what you did and even though we had already discussed not sleeping with other people, I felt the need to bring it up again before she left. She wasnt pleased and got a little mad and asked why I was bringing that up right before she left and asked if I was worried that she was going to do something on her trip. She was supposed to call before she left, and didnt, so that made it even worse.

Anyway, she got back and everything was fine. Nothing happened (as far as I know) and I basically drove myself nuts for nothing.

You know her better than any of us. Do you think shes the type to go down there and fool around with someone, or do you think your insecurities are getting to you?

I would add to really watch the insecurity. Women (or at least the ones I know) get annoyed with insecure men. It makes them think they arent trusted on some level. Insecurity is also not attractive to a lot of women. I dated a woman a while back that was always worried that I was going to go off and cheat on her or leave her and it got old pretty quick. In fact, it was one of the reasons I did end up breaking things off with her.

JetHot 03-08-2005 03:36 PM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
Muscn, I think you hit it right on the nose. I think you're absolutly right. I definetly dont think she is the kind of girl to do anything down there. I wouldnt say she wouldnt make out with anyone while she is wasted, but she knows right from wrong and if she does ANY thing of that sort, i'll be very upset.

Thanks Muscn, you really hit it right on the nose!

wildcat66 03-08-2005 04:02 PM

Re: Should I be worried? Girlfriend going to cancun for 7 nights
 
Relationships are not supposed to be a constant worry about if your partner is messing around on you or if they are being dishonest. Trust me dude if she does anything behind your back she isnt gonna tell you straight out. You may notice changes in the way she acts, she may be stand offish and distant towards you but if you think she is gonna come right out and tell you I think you are wrong.After all you said in an earlier post that she lied to you in the past so you wouldnt get hurt about something . And being drunk is no excuse for anyones actions, if this woman cares the least bit about you she would be missing you not going out getting wasted and playing with guys on her vacation . There are so many red flags here that I would be out of this and looking for a woman that can be trusted.If you dont have trust in a relationship then that relationship isnt worth having.I really hate to burst your bubble but I think this woman is keeping you on the shelf and doesnt want to be tied down with you. You shouldnt have to worry about this kind of stuff, that is not what its all about !


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