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  • The funny feeling/novelty has worn off...HELP!

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    Old 03-15-2005, 11:35 PM   #1
    snoop_tizzle
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    Unhappy The funny feeling/novelty has worn off...HELP!

    I have been involved in a deep and honest relationship for 3 months. I know that i care alot about her but the "funny feeling" has worn off. I used to lose my breath at the sight of her, and now its gone. Now i dont get that amazing feeling anymore. Does this happen to every relationship? Is it me? Is it her? Even though its only been about 3 months, i practically love the woman, but the feeling is gone...please help me to understand what is going on-Please!

     
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    Old 03-16-2005, 01:16 AM   #2
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    Re: The funny feeling/novelty has worn off...HELP!

    So the novelty of the new relationship has worn off, it always does. But that doesn't mean the excitement ends there, it just means that you have to create it, instead of just expecting it. Do you love her though? I just find it a little weird that it's only been 3 months and your feelings have changed... do you think that maybe she's not the one for you?
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    Old 03-16-2005, 03:32 AM   #3
    realguy
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    Re: The funny feeling/novelty has worn off...HELP!

    If The Relationship Was "deep", You Wouldn"t Be Wondering About This Issue.

     
    Old 03-16-2005, 06:37 AM   #4
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    Re: The funny feeling/novelty has worn off...HELP!

    I think that's the fallacy with these love at first sight, too deep - too fast relationships.
    Your basing your feelings of love for her on that 'funny feeling'.

    The slower you go in the beginning of a relationship, the longer that 'fuzzy feeling' will last. Then by the time it wears off, you will have already grown to know her, and the love will be there on it's own.

    Many will disagree, but I just don't think it's possible to 'love' someone after 3 months. Do you know how much about her you have left to learn. You cannot possibly know everything there is to know about a person in 3 months, no matter how much they talk, cause words are just that - words.

     
    Old 03-16-2005, 07:19 PM   #5
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    Re: The funny feeling/novelty has worn off...HELP!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lisa24
    I think that's the fallacy with these love at first sight, too deep - too fast relationships. Your basing your feelings of love for her on that 'funny feeling'.

    The slower you go in the beginning of a relationship, the longer that 'fuzzy feeling' will last. Then by the time it wears off, you will have already grown to know her, and the love will be there on it's own.

    Many will disagree, but I just don't think it's possible to 'love' someone after 3 months. Do you know how much about her you have left to learn. You cannot possibly know everything there is to know about a person in 3 months, no matter how much they talk, cause words are just that - words.
    I used to feel the exact same way, but it really is true what they say: you don't believe in love at first sight until it happens to you. There's nothing wrong with falling in love quickly--quite frankly, I wouldn't want to be with a man who didn't knock my socks off right away. If you need time to let your partner grow on you before you feel strongly about them, I wouldn't think that there was much potential for deep, passionate love that I want from a relationship to develop. I think it's completely possible to fall in love in a lot less than three months, and hopefully you will too Lisa, once you encounter the man of your dreams who will leave you speechless the first time you meet him . It would be nice of course to know everything about a person before you fall in love, but in reality I don't think you can EVER know every single thing about another person. The tough thing about love is that it requires taking a great risk with your heart and a leap of faith--no matter how cautious or slowly you proceed, you can never completely protect yourself against getting hurt or betrayed by someone you trusted and thought you knew well.

    As far as the fuzzy feeling, I'm inclined to agree with realguy. In a perfect world, that feeling would be there from the first time you meet your partner until the day you die, but usually things don't work out that well. However, I do know that I was completely blown away the first time I saw my fiance, and more than three years later, I fall more in love (and feel more and more fuzzy, happy, and excited about being with him) every single day. You may be able to preserve the warm and fuzzy feeling by taking things slow, as Lisa suggests, but that's assuming you're willing to settle with someone who eventually stops making you feel fuzzy. Personally, I think that excitement and chemistry is very important, and I feel really fortunate to have found someone with whom the initial glow of love never fades. I wouldn't settle for anything less now that I know that kind of love is possible, though I have had very happy, fulfilling relationships in the past where I fell in love quickly and had the warm and fuzzy feeling last quite awhile. I guess it's just different for everyone, depending on the people involved and what they're looking for in a relationship.

    To the poster, I wouldn't worry too much about the way you're feeling. It is pretty normal to have a letdown after the newness and excitement of something wears off, and it doesn't necessarily mean that she's not the right girl for it. My advice is to give it time and see how things go without jumping to any immediate conclusions. Try to rekindle the old feelings by not falling into a boring routine and instead keeping things fresh by going new places or revisiting places where you were when you were first falling in love. I hope it all works out well for you...take care!

     
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