It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 05-14-2005, 04:23 PM   #1
    kdes
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    kdes's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 125
    kdes HB User
    Red face I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    Hi

    Please someone take the time to read this. And thank you so much for your input.

    Ive been seeing this girl for around a month and 3 weeks. The girl im seeing is a sweat shy girl.

    But tonight i feel went badly.

    In the month and 3 weeks i asked her if she wants to give it a try for afew weeks then see after that.

    I started to feel that i was taking to long to ask her out formally. I started to feel that if i didnt ask soon she would move on.

    I had the choice of asking her tonight seeing her at a shopping mall. Or to ask her out, next weekend when she comes to my house for a movie or at a botanical garden.

    Tonight i met her at the shopping mall were she met one of my friends and his girlfriend.

    So tonight i decided i will ask her out formally to make it official. I saw her around 16:30 this afternoon at the shopping mall. We went for coffee before my friend got there, then i decided to ask her out.

    I feel that i messed up, cause when i asked her, it did not come out so well. She said yes. But then there was an uncomfortable silence for about 30 minutes. We did say afew things in between but only after around the 30 minutes we started to talk normally.

    I asked her formally only a week, after of asking her if she wants to give it a try for afew weeks and then see after.

    I feel now that it was the wrong time and place to ask her. I feel that it should have been more romantic but it was not. Cause it was at a coffee shop with people around and with the sun still shinning and it was a day were she met one of my friends and his girlfriend for the first time so she was nervous about that.

    I wish now that i asked her next weekend at my house or if we go to the botanical garden. I feel that would have been more a romantic time to ask her.

    And then something else, i feel, went wrong. After my friend got there with his girlfriend the 4 of us had coffee then watched a movie.

    After the movie i walked her to her to the shopping mall entrance. Then outside we hugged then i kissed her. But when i kissed her, it did not go so well cause she left her mouth open for me to use my tough but im not used to that. Then while i was kissing her i laughed. Then we pulled away and then she said sorry. Then i said no its fine but then she stepped back i think to go but i kissed her a second time. She did the same she left her mouth open i used my tough abit but it did not work so well. Then she said i should let you go home then we left. The 2 kisses felt so uncomfortable.

    I feel our first kiss was not as good as it should have been. The first kiss was not as romantic as it should have been, cause it was outside a shopping mall. And it did not go well.

    I did not plan the kiss it kind of just happened. When i hugged her it looked like she wanted to kiss me, so i hugged her a second time then i kissed her. But im not sure now if that was what she wanted. I think i was wrong in seeing if she wanted to kiss me. Maybe she just let me kiss her cause she thought i wanted to kiss her. I just dont know.

    Before this girl, i dated a girl for around 3 years and i guess maybe
    im so use to kissing her in a certain way. I do not know what im doing with this girl.

    I wish that i left asking her out and the first kiss for another time. But i was scared of leaving things to late. Not the kiss but the asking out.

    I made such a fool of myself tonight. Im feeling so angry about it i know i could have done better.

    So i feel i messed up on asking her to go out with me. And i feel that i messed up on our first kiss. On the same night. It should have been more romantic, i feel i messed it all up for her.

    I text massaged her saying - 'Im really happy about what happened tonight. And i had a really nice time tonight. Hope you enjoy tomorrow. Sleep well." - She replied saying - "Im also glad about what happened and i had a really nice time tonight, was cool meeting your friends, they are really nice, sleep well and sweat dreams."

    Is she being honest or is she just saying that? I dont know.

    If we do carry on going out i dont want us to have month anniversary’s and year anniversary’s celebrating a bad night of asking out and bad first kiss. But its to late.

    Please any input on this will be great. Did i mess up? Has anyone had bad first kisses or bad times on asking out.

    Thank you so much for your time and input.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 05-14-2005, 04:29 PM   #2
    Ruth6:11
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Ruth6:11's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Posts: 3,339
    Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    I'm betting that she knew you were pretty nervous - and I'd rather be asked out someplace normal (like a coffeeshop) than all way too serious!

    One thing that may help if you find yourself in another awkward moment is - A SENSE OF HUMOR!!
    Hit your forehead with your palm and say "Duh!" or say "Geez, lets try that kiss again!" with a laugh.
    Humor gets easer the older you get, but this would be a great time to start practicing!
    Girls like vulnerability.
    I think you'll be fine!

     
    Old 05-14-2005, 05:20 PM   #3
    kdes
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    kdes's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 125
    kdes HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    Thank you ruth6:11

    Thats i good way to fix an awkward moment. Thank you for that.

    I jsu cant help feel that it should have been more romantic for her, of asking her out and the first kiss.

    I feel that the month annversarys are going to be celabrating a non romantic time. Im i being silly? I mean the first kiss was at a shopping mall entrance. And when i asked her out im sure that at my house or a botanical would have been better. I aksed her out on a day were she met my friend for the first time. I wish i could go back.

    Do you guys think that the next time i see her i should ask her that we take that day as our annversary day? Is that away to fix it? Is there away to change it?

    Thank you

     
    Old 05-14-2005, 06:59 PM   #4
    lisa24
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2003
    Location: New Jersey, USA
    Posts: 724
    lisa24 HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    well, she still said yes, so it must not be that big of a problem for her.

    Why would you want to go back and change it. It's a pretty cute story. One day you will look back and get a good chuckle out of it. Like Ruth said, it's important to have a sense of humor.
    Me, personally, I'd rather have a cute story to look back and laugh at, than a big all-out romantic thing. But I'm not all that into romancing.
    So, not all girls care so much about that.

    And honestly, I doubt that most first date requests are done all romantically. That stuff's for the movies. It just doesn't happen that way in real life. The majority of people out there have had bad first dates/kisses.
    I don't think it is much of an indication of anything.

    Just keep moving forward and know that it will get easier. There will be plenty of time to make up for it in other ways. Ease up on yourself.

     
    Old 05-14-2005, 08:08 PM   #5
    Ruth6:11
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Ruth6:11's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2003
    Posts: 3,339
    Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romanti

    Well, personally I've never seen the point in celebrating a Month Anniversay or 6 Month Anniversary. We barely celebrate our Wedding Anniversaries!!

    My feeling is that it's not always such a good idea for a guy to put romantic pressure on a girl. We tend to need to become emotionally involved without alot of extra heavy duty push from a guy. To be honest, we tend to wonder what he's REALLY after.

    A sense of humor, a light touch rather then scaring her off with too much heavy sounding talk -
    It's more important that she know that you like her for who she IS than some romantic picture that she is afraid she can't be!!


    (You sound like a really nice guy - where were the guys like you when I was young!!)

    Last edited by Ruth6:11; 05-14-2005 at 08:09 PM.

     
    Old 05-15-2005, 03:29 AM   #6
    kdes
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    kdes's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 125
    kdes HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    Thank you lisa24 and ruth6:11 for your replys.

    They have really helpt.

    Thank you

     
    Old 05-15-2005, 08:58 AM   #7
    realguy
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Apr 2004
    Posts: 1,039
    realguy HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    KDES, You worry to much.

     
    Old 05-15-2005, 10:18 AM   #8
    Snails
    Senior Veteran
     
    Snails's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Posts: 1,137
    Snails HB UserSnails HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    I agree with realguy...I think you're being too hard on yourself. It seems like she likes you, and if so, she's not going to care if everything isn't absolutely perfect and romantic all the time. I'm sure she's just happy to know you like her and want to date her. Most girls don't expect the degree of romance you seem to assume...we understand that sometimes things are awkward or not like in the movies, and it really doesn't matter as long as we think the guy is being sweet and genuine. I also agree with Ruth about anniversaries...not all girls are obsessive about celebrating every little thing. Quite frankly, I'd think it was a little weird if a guy made a big deal out of a one-month anniversary, so I'd bet that she'll be happy just hanging out with you. Don't worry so much about making everything perfect--you guys will both have a better time if you relax and just let things unfold naturally. It's very sweet of you to be concerned about making your relationship romantic, but I seriously doubt that this girl is expecting you to be as perfect as you seem to expect yourself to be. She likes you and seems to enjoy your company--have a great time with her and just be yourself rather than feeling the need to sweep her off her feet by making everything impressively romantic. It really sounds to me like everything is going well and that you don't have to worry about "messing" up--please don't be so hard on yourself! She's lucky to have a sweet guy be so concerned about pleasing her, but if you worry about every little thing along the way as you date, you won't be as relaxed and natural (nor have as much fun!) as you should. Dating isn't all about everything being serious and formal and perfect, just having a good time together and seeing what unfolds naturally. It sounds like you guys are off to a great start, so don't worry--just have fun with her and good luck!

     
    Old 05-15-2005, 12:27 PM   #9
    kdes
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    kdes's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 125
    kdes HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    Thank you realguy and snails for your replys.

    Thank you snails, you made so much sence. And has made me feel better.

    Thank you again.

     
    Old 05-15-2005, 12:39 PM   #10
    Snails
    Senior Veteran
     
    Snails's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Posts: 1,137
    Snails HB UserSnails HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    Good luck Kdes, and have fun with her! I hope things keep going well for you guys.

     
    Old 05-15-2005, 09:11 PM   #11
    V6 Jeep 4x4
    Member
    (male)
     
    V6 Jeep 4x4's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2001
    Location: Michigan
    Posts: 67
    V6 Jeep 4x4 HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    Yeah, you do worry too much. My current girlfriend and I were seeing each other for about 6 weeks or so and she sends me a text message on my phone and says "So, would you say we're a couple yet or what? I said yes and we are doing great.

    It doesn't get much less romantic than that and we are fine. We laugh about it now.

    Quit worrying and begin to enjoy yourself.
    __________________
    -Bill-

     
    Old 05-18-2005, 12:31 PM   #12
    kdes
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    kdes's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 125
    kdes HB User
    Re: I feel i messed up on, asking her out and first kiss. It should have been romantic.

    Thank you snails for wishing me luck. I really hope things are going well for you. And thanks v6 jee4x4 for your reply. I think you guys are right maybe im worring to much.

    My one friend thats a girl. Told me if i feel i messed up i can just re-ask the girl im seeing out again on a more romantic time. Do you guys think i should that or just leave it?

    Thanks again.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Got a first date tommorow - should I hug or kiss her when I see her? Brkenhrt Relationship Health 9 06-17-2009 08:22 AM
    i feel very messed up lady346 Relationship Health 11 05-14-2006 05:10 PM
    He is making me feel like I'm insane; help! nannie8 Mental Health 4 10-29-2005 10:15 AM
    His craziness is making ME feel crazy! nannie8 Relationship Health 18 10-24-2005 06:36 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:11 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!