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  • Losing friends because of my girlfriends jealousy

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    Old 05-17-2005, 10:32 PM   #1
    JetHot
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    Losing friends because of my girlfriends jealousy

    My girlfriend and I have been together for awhile now. Shes always said she trusts but now i dont now. Recently one of my friends started dating one of my ex girlfriends. This ex girlfriend I had very strong feelings for and I was really hurt when we had broken up, im over it now though its still VERY akward to be around her. Me, 2 friends, and my ex (who is dating one of those friends) went to shoot pool. She didnt say anything the whole time we were there, and it still feels very weird. My girlfriend is very jealous of her and she told me today she really doesnt want me to be hanging out with her. But my friends are always at my ex girlfriends house because shes cool and her parents are halarious. My ex is having graduation party this saturday, and alot of my friends are going, but my girlfriend hates her and I know she will refuse to go, and will be angry if I go without her.

    I dont want to lose some of my friends that ive known for over 7 years because of my girlfriends jealousy. She always says "Well what if I was hanging out with so and so, you wouldnt like that"

     
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    Old 05-17-2005, 10:46 PM   #2
    MsInspiration
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    Re: Losing friends because of my girlfriends jealousy

    Well I just had to reply to this one. I am absolutely 100% with your g/f on this one. I think this is a rather wierd situation to begin with. I would certainly be questioning just who my "friend" is if he is dating someone that I used to be serious about. No wonder if feels weird - it's because it is!!

    I think this is one of those situations where you should put your girlfriends feelings first. I don't know of too many women (actually I don't think I know of any) that would feel "comfortable" in your g/f's shoes. If you really care and love your girlfriend you should consider her and make sure that she does not have to feel uncomfortable!

     
    Old 05-17-2005, 10:53 PM   #3
    Benihana
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    Re: Losing friends because of my girlfriends jealousy

    if your friends dont understand a little bit of the "moody girlfriend/hates my ex girlfriend" syndrome and they will end their friendship over you not coming to a party, thats lame. Secondly, whats your best friend picking up your seconds for? Furthermore, tell your girlfriend to start a fight with your ex at the party if she is that miffed by her presense. Maybe your ex will leave her own party and you can enjoy her parents and all the benefites of the house party, MINUS THE EX!!!! PERFECTO ADVICIOSO

     
    Old 05-18-2005, 10:42 PM   #4
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    Re: Losing friends because of my girlfriends jealousy

    Your girlfriend is completely in the right to feel this way. I'm engaged to a guy I've been dating for two years and I still get insecure about his ex fiance! Talk to your girlfriend about the party if you're really needing to go. Compromise...she'll go with you and stay together and then leave an hour or two later. My fiance and I have a secret signal that we make when one of us wants to leave somewhere. Maybe you can think of something along those lines, that way if she's feeling very uncomfortable she isn't portrayed as the bratty girlfriend who can't have a good time. Also what kind of friend dates his friend's ex girlfriend? Are you sure it wouldn't be a good thing to lose his friendship? Good luck with everything!

     
    Old 05-19-2005, 12:26 PM   #5
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    Re: Losing friends because of my girlfriends jealousy

    She's obviously insecure with herself and/or the relationship. She'll have to learn to get over it. Do what you want. That may result in the fall out of your relationship, but at least you won't have someone insecure to cater to.

     
    Old 05-19-2005, 01:42 PM   #6
    Ninispjc
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    Re: Losing friends because of my girlfriends jealousy

    First of all, this is between you and your girlfriend, I really don't think it would be wise to get your current girlfriend to start fighting with your ex. That will only make things worse. I think some people are cool with their girlfriend or boyfriend hanging out with an ex, some aren't. Personally, I don't think it's normal for exes to hang around each other. It usually means one or both of the parties still have feelings for each other. The "just friends" thing, I just never really bought it. I think your friend has a right to date your ex if you're ok with it, but sometimes when people break up, that's just what happens. One person sort of "gets custody" of the friends. Some go with him, some go with her. Very rarely do things work out all nice and neat like they did on Friends, with Ross and Rachel being able to hang out as friends and everyone still being close to each of them. And even so, Ross and Rachel ended up together, didn't they? If I had a boyfriend, I would NOT want to hang out with the last woman he made love with and saw naked and caressed and sweated on and whispered in her ear in my face all the time. I don't believe that makes me insecure, just protective of what I would consider "my time" with him. She had her time with him, it's over now, you and she should both move on. The friends of yours who are really your friends will understand that they can't hang out with the both of you anymore, and they will have to see her on separate time when they're not hanging out with you.

     
    Old 05-19-2005, 09:24 PM   #7
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    Re: Losing friends because of my girlfriends jealousy

    I agree with the above. I'd be FURIOUS at my boyfriend if he was going to his x's house with his friends and shooting pool w/her and ect... She can trust you, but maybe she doesnt trust the friend. And you cant blame her for disliking your ex. Girls can be vicious! I know I am one haha. But how would you feel about her hanging at her ex boyfriends house drinking playing pool. I wouldnt care of her parents are funny it'd make me feel like crap.

    And as someone else said, if your "friends" arent going to be your friend because your g/f doesnt want you around your ex that you had strong feelings for at one point then they arent friends. Because they shouldnt be incouraging it.

     
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