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  • want to confess my love to him, but need advice...

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    Old 05-30-2005, 09:58 AM   #1
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    want to confess my love to him, but need advice...

    Okay, here's the story....
    There was this man that I used to work with, and from the moment we met, there was a very intense connection there.
    Really, the only way to describe it was love at first site. He was the One. He was my soul mate.
    Well, after a year of working together, he was transferred to another state. I know that he was very interested in me, and likewise, but neither of us ever expressed our feelings for one another. I, myself, was not aware of my feelings for him until after he was gone.
    Anyway, it's been 2 years since he's been gone. It took me nearly all that time to get him out of my head. I was depressed all the while; I was just a wreck. I've been pushing myself to tell him my feelings for him so that I can get him out of my head and move on with my life, but I wasn't ready for that, yet.
    Now, however, I feel ready. It took me all this time to get "ready", and even though such a long time has passed, I still want to tell him.
    No, I really don't expect for anything to happen, and I wouldn't be devastated if nothing happens. I've learned to accept the outcome. However, I want to be completely honest with him and tell him my feelings.
    But I have a few concerns. How do I approach all of this? I mean, I want to tell him everything in my heart, but I don't want to scare him away from ever getting together. I mean the things I want to tell him are intense. I don't want to freak him out. Should I just not tell him everything then?
    Also..I am concerned about his feelings for me. It's been so long; what are the chances that he is thinking of me? I know at one point he did care for me intensly; he even asked me to marry him. (I did not know he was serious at the time; I thought he was joking.)
    He made me so confused after he left. Even though he transferred, he would still call back at work to talk to my old coworkers. Whenever I happened to pick up the phone, however, he would either disguise his voice or completely ignore me. I even confronted him about this, and his excuse for it was that he could not recognize my voice. Bull ****. I wanted to cry right then and there everytime he did that to me.
    A mutual friend of ours always tried to get me to call this guy up, but I was too mad at the way he would ignore me, so I tried to ignore him, too. (yeah, real mature...)
    Well, this friend of ours also would talk about marriage whenever he talked about this guy. I find it a very interesting connection...
    It really got interesting when I learned from someone else a few months ago that he was going to get married to his ex-girlfriend. Oh man, I was crushed. I talked to a few friends of mine about this, and their take on it was, "it sounds like he's just trying to forget about you."
    I really don't know. Honestly, I doubt he's still thinking of me.
    I decided to cut ties with our mutual friend as an attempt to move on. It did work, I think. But then a couple of months ago an old co-worker of mine told me that she talked with him on the phone and asked him if he was married yet and he said, "I don't even have a girlfriend; how can I be married?" When she said that...I was very happy to hear that he was still available. (but I wonder what happened with him and his ex-girlfriend.)
    However, when I learned that, the desire to confess my love for him went away. Why? I know that the feelings I had for him aren't the same, anymore. I still have feelings for him, but they are not as intense. What if it is the same way with him? He may find it as an excuse not to persue...
    And finally, if anything is going to happen between us, it'll have to be a long-distance relationship. I really don't think it's going to work..

    Thank you all for reading. I am confused; I don't know what to do. I don't know how he feels for me. I don't know what's going to happen...I don't know how to do all of this. Any help would be appreciated.

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    Old 05-30-2005, 03:18 PM   #2
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    Re: want to confess my love to him, but need advice...

    You don't say what exactly was going on when he was working in same location as you do. Did you have real relationship with him? Or was it only flirting? It is obvious that you liked him, but as you can see he went elsewhere and didn't get in touch with you. Life goes on. Whatever situation and feeling there was, it is over. It doesn't matter that he doesn't have a girlfriend, it shouldn't concern you. You sound very young and I would like to tell you that you will meet many people like him. Many people who would be pleasant and possible prospects for relationship, but only few will ever turn into love of your life. This one if gone and so just keep your mind open to meet new people more suitable by location and personallity.

    You can tell your mutual friend that if he would be interested he would have let you know long time ago. Marriage doesn't come up like that. It was a joke and your mutual friend seems to enjoy "stirring the pot". You can tell her "Life goes on...nothing hapenned when he was here and nothing will..."

    The way I see it it was just nice "crush". Get on with your life.

    Old 05-30-2005, 03:48 PM   #3
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    Re: want to confess my love to him, but need advice...

    the reason your feelings went away when you found out he was single? you want what you can't have, so he is more appealing if he is taken, i liked a girl for years and she didnt like me, so i got a new girfriend, then my old crush came to me saying she liked me after all, coz i was taken. dont miss out coz of pride. tell him how you feel and then move on. he may have made up the ex story knowing it would get back to you and make you jealous. guys ARE that sad. just tell him but dont expect anything. just tell him for your own piece of mind then carry on with your life and see what happens.

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