Jealous of a Car?

06-30-2005, 07:17 PM

My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful in every way, except that he gets very upset over what seems to me to be the silliest possible thing...

I am fascinated with a certain kind of car(Mustang)...not even sure why. I'm not even interested in cars on the whole, I don't even drive, but this one car just appeals to me and I would love to be able to own one someday (whenever I get my license!). Whenever I'm riding with my boyfriend and I see one, I get this silly little grin on my face...it just makes me happy to look at them. And this annoys my boyfriend beyond words.

Last week he really flipped out on me. I was baffled by his reaction but promised him that whenever we passed another Mustang, I would show absolutely no emotion. Then I thought about, and thought...this seems really strange. And it is not something I can even help. I see the car and my face lights up like a Christmas tree. So it happened again last night...just a completely automatic reaction on my part...that led to us arguing for several hours.

Here is what my boyfriend claims - that I love the car more than I do him. Is that not ludicrous? He says that I don't look happy to see him, but I look happy whenever I see that car. I have spent a LOT of time trying to explain to him that you cannot compare the love for a person to the interest in a car. I cannot believe he is a jealous of a car...what am I missing??

It is also the same thing with his adorable little cat, who I always coo over...he rants on about how I love the cat more than I do him. It's like anything I give my attention to he resents! I am not the kind of person who will censor herself for people...I'm not going to pretend I'm not excited to see a Mustang. It's not like I jump up and down and shriek. But when this happens it seriously ruins his mood for the rest of the day and he insists I should find a way to prove I love him more than the car. I think it's insane...or am I really being insensitive? We're both adults here. I know this is a VERY silly issue but it's causing me a lot of heartache...I'd appreciate any comments!

06-30-2005, 07:30 PM

he needs help, sorry but thats my opinion

06-30-2005, 07:43 PM

True story...I once had a girlfriend who acted just like you do. She was completely nuts over Mustangs even though she didn't even own one. Every time she would see one, she would comment about how nice it was and she was always talking about them. I found this to be extremely annoying! It made me angry for two reasons: 1.) Her ex-boyfriend owned one 2.) I DIDN'T own one. Catch my drift? Well, if neither of these fit your problem then continue to read on..

I think what you are missing here is that your boyfriend isn't happy with how much attention and excitement he is getting from you. Its not about the car, its about how unsatisified he is in how you display your affections towards him. I actually find this really funny because this kind of thing happens all the time to women as they often feel THEY are the ones who come second to their boyfriend's or husband's cars...you know what I mean? I couldn't even begin to count how many times I've heard women say about their men, "He loves that stupid car more than he loves ME!" Its a very natural reaction.

The problem was never the car...He doesn't seem to feel the love and affection from you as strongly as he would like to and it makes him angry. I don't know your whole story, but he is either really insecure about your relationship or you really don't show him enough attention...either way, something needs to be done. I would love to here your comments on this...

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07-01-2005, 05:39 AM

Well, I'd be jealous too if everytime my boyfriend saw me he never had an excited and happy to see me look on his face,but everytime he saw a chopper he would.Fortuanetly I get the same reaction as the choppers he sees get.So maybe if you showed the same excitement as you do seeing the mustang ,he won't get so jealous.Also, maybe he thinks your just constantly hinting at him that you would like him to buy you a Mustang and he thinks that maybe thats all you want from him.

07-01-2005, 06:05 AM

He sounds immature. I suspect that if he wasn't picking a fight about a car, he would have chosen something else. It sounds like he just needs to do a little emotional growing up.

07-01-2005, 06:41 AM

Well, if I were you I'd join a Mustang club and meet other people who feel the same way about the cars.
I can't imagine a lifetime with someone who would give me a hard time about me really liking a particular car. (I was the same way about Camaro's in the 70's - my boyfriend at the time ended up getting one!)
If you like them you like them. He can't demand that you change how you feel. That would be up to you.

07-01-2005, 06:51 AM

Hey, good taste in cars (I have a 2005 GT).

I agree with what previous posters said...unless your ex-boyfriend had a Mustang (in which case I could see his point) he's being incredibly immature, controlling, and manipulative.

I dated a guy once who wanted all my attention too, and trust me, its no way to go. He got mad at me once for spending 25 minutes updating my planner while he was over at my house. I said, "would you mind if I just sat and finished this?" and he sat on my couch and chilled out. 25 minutes later I finished, & he was up in arms that it was "stupid and pointless" for him to even be there if I wasn't going to "pay any attention" to him.

Don't make the mistake of staying with someone like that.

07-01-2005, 07:20 AM

I once heard that the things couples argue about aren't always the real issue. There's a deeper issue that isn't being discussed and it comes out in a Mustang. Try to dig deeper into the conversation and find out what is wrong. Chances are maybe he's not getting enough attention and if you feel like you are giving him enough, then there's the problem. There's something going on however.

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