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  • should i trust her with my boyfriend?

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    Old 07-25-2005, 05:16 PM   #1
    mee_mee
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    should i trust her with my boyfriend?

    hi,

    me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now, and i just need some advice on a certain person that he is friends with. First of, he used to work alone at this small store in the mall. This girl, that worked for a credit card company had a small stand outside his store (sort of like a stand where she tries to get people to sign up for credit cards). She started visiting him everytime she worked, and they would start talking about random things(keep in mind that he was mostly working alone when she would visit). This was something he didnt keep a secret, because he was the one that told me that she would visit him. I didnt like that fact that they talked everyday, and i told my boyfriend that. He told me not to worry because he said they are only friends and that she was married, but her husband was in Romania trying to get in to canada, so he wasnt present at the time.

    One time, he wanted to introduce me to her, but she didnt want him to because she said that it would be awkward. This kind of bothered me , because if she sees him as nothing but a friend, why would she see it awkward for him to introduce me to her? Is this normal?
    And the fact that she always called him handsome and constantly complemented him was pretty obviouse that she was attracted to him.

    And there was one incident in which he told me that she told him that she had cheated on her husband with some guy at the club. And by cheating, i mean she slept with this guy. That was about 5 to 6 months ago, and now her husband is in canada. She called him at our house last night and invited us to go to their house to meet him and have dinner with them some time. She seemed so eager for us to visit them because this is not the first time that she has mentioned this. I asked him why she wants us to go see them, and he said that she just wants her husband to have a friend here in canada, since it is his first time here.

    I'm not entirely excited about this idea, why? Because i cant find it easy to trust someone that has cheated on their husband and acts like nothing happened. She hasnt told him and isnt planning to. And i know that my boyfriend thinks she's pretty attractive because i asked him and he told me. I asked him if he has ever checked her out and he sais that he has. He said he is a guy and all guys do that and its nothing to worry about. He sais he only sees her as a friend.

    My question is, should i trust her being friends with my boyfriend? i know i should be all trusting with him, but i cant because the way i see it, the majority of women who get cheated on are the all trusting ones who beleive that it is just not possible for their partner to be attracted to someone else. Although he tries so hard for me to feel better about the situation i dont think i could ever be friends with her and her husband. Please send me advice, this is driving me nuts.
    thank you

    Last edited by mee_mee; 07-25-2005 at 05:17 PM. Reason: change title

     
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    Old 07-25-2005, 05:31 PM   #2
    Datura
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    Re: should i trust her with my boyfriend?

    Maybe you should ask him what he's getting out of this friendship, unless you already know.

    Quote:
    My question is, should i trust her being friends with my boyfriend? i know i should be all trusting with him, but i cant because the way i see it, the majority of women who get cheated on are the all trusting ones who beleive that it is just not possible for their partner to be attracted to someone else.
    So, you're looking to trust a woman you don't know, but not your boyfriend?

     
    Old 07-25-2005, 05:37 PM   #3
    caput1996
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    Re: should i trust her with my boyfriend?

    Trust your man, but I would not trust her. It seems like she's after something. One minute it's awkward for her to meet you and the next minute she wants you and your man to have dinner with her and her husband. Something is not right about that. Let your boyfriend know how uncomfortable this situation is for you and let him know why. Explain to him that it is not him that you don't trust, it is her and that you know she has some type of motive. Especially since she's cheated on her husband before and sees nothing wrong with it. Keep your man away from him, girl.

     
    Old 07-25-2005, 06:00 PM   #4
    Louthedog
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    Re: should i trust her with my boyfriend?

    NO!!

     
    Old 07-25-2005, 06:28 PM   #5
    ibeeshell
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    Re: should i trust her with my boyfriend?

    Ok, wait don't get all upset just yet. Why not meet in a public place for ONE drink? That way you don't come off being a ***** to your man, yet you have time to check them out.

    Be honest with your BF, tell him your concerns and tell him you will meet them for a drink. I know, it sounds silly but really, it can get you off the hook! Maybe they are slimey and he will see that too.

    I wouldn't want to go to someones house I didn't know, especially with that kind of story. But my hubby would think I was stuck up, well ok I am, but still I wouldn't do it!!!

    So make up a lie about having to be somewhere later, do the one drink thing and be done with it!!!!

    Good luck!

     
    Old 07-25-2005, 09:38 PM   #6
    mada_3083
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    Re: should i trust her with my boyfriend?

    why do you have to trust her... nothing can happen unless your man does something... sure you can keep him away from every temptation, but that's going to be selfish on your part... if he loves you he won't cheat... doesn't matter how attractive his friend is

     
    Old 07-27-2005, 01:21 AM   #7
    mee_mee
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    Re: should i trust her with my boyfriend?

    Thanks for all your advice,

    i told my boyfriend about how i felt and he said that if i didnt feel with the both of us being friends with her and her husband then he wont force the issue. But i told him that i would give it one try and see how they are and what kind of peopl they are.

    This has really helped me out a lot, thanks for all the responses

     
    Old 07-27-2005, 08:41 AM   #8
    EddieDean
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    Re: should i trust her with my boyfriend?

    I think you are staying very reasonable and rational during this whole issue....I would be just as suspicious as you under these circumstances! Keep the lines of communication open between you and your guy, and try to remain fair and understanding with a cautious eye open. You seem to have good instincts and are doing all you can....best wishes!

     
    Old 07-27-2005, 10:22 AM   #9
    ibeeshell
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    Re: should i trust her with my boyfriend?

    That's nice that your man really listened to you!!! You have a good guy there!

     
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