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How to show her?

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Old 08-16-2005, 06:22 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 59
bendb HB User
How to show her?

I wrote a post here about four months ago about my situation with my girlfriend. Then I wrote a post since then about the breakup. I never wanted to lose her, I never wanteed to break up. I just felt like I wasn't the guy she was looking for and I could never really make her happy. I loved her as much then as I always have. And I still do. Here is the newest happenings...

We are still best friends and we are still moving in together later nest week. We still talk a lot. Since my last post, she has told me that she wants to be with me. She said she is truly sorry for everything and she loves me and is trying her best to make up for it. I wanted to trust her so bad. I really did. I love her more than anything, and even through all that happened, I always loved her this much. I had convinced myself that I wasn't what she was looking for and that being with her was just causing me further heartache. Well she wrote me a letter. That is something that she never does. In the letter, she told me that she knows how hard it is to trust her, but that I had to. That she loved me and wanted to be with me and only me. It was a truly heartfelt letter. It worked. Boy did it work. I just wouldn't admit it yet. We went to a concert Friday night for her birthday. I think she was looking for me to say something. I wanted to, but for some reason I just didn't. I wanted to tell her that I love her and I want to be together, but the words didn't come out. The next day I sent her a text message to call me, I had something to say to her. I was going to ask her to be mine once again. But she never called. I talked to her yesterday, and she said she doesn't want that now. She said that she didn't see that look in my eye Friday night, and she doesn't think we feel the same way about each other anymore. I waited one day too long to let her know how I feel. I know she is ready, the letter says so. She is just afraid that I'm not. Well I am. I have always been ready. I love her and now, my heart is once again broken. Had she said what she did the day before the letter came, I would've been ok with it. The letter changed everything. I just didn't acknowledge it right away. I am truly in a tight spot. I tried to let go, and I couldn't. Despite everything I have told myself in the past four months, I still always thought we would somehow find a way.

We have tickets to a concert tomorrow night. I am going to talk to her before hand and I can only hope things work out ok. I want to show her how I feel. How do you show a woman that she is the world to you? What do I need to do to let her know? I don't care if I crash and burn because even if that happens, then I can look back and say I gave it all I had.

Sorry so long. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this.

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Old 08-16-2005, 06:56 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,335
Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: How to show her?

Why are you moving in with her when she treats you like this?
What about when she starts dating someone else? You can't be "friends" and especially roommates with a woman when you love her the way you do. You honestly can't. The human feelings just don't work that way.

You are setting yourself up for more hurt & pain than you can possibly imagine...
Please reconsider the living together part...

Old 08-16-2005, 06:57 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 858
madhatter HB User
Re: How to show her?

I don't know what happened in the past between you two,sounds like she did something? Trust is something you earn,and when its broking,it takes time to get back. It sounds as though she's still feels bad and guilty from breaking your trust for her. Hell,do something crazy,like if your at the supermarket together,have the person at the loudspeaker[tell them it will save your relationship,so they do it] to say for example- hey anna,john wants you to know he loves you very much. or,when you move in,i'm sure you have a song that reminds you of the way you feel for her,leave a card on the table,have the song ready in the stereo,and say honey,hit the play button! I've did both of these things in the past. There is no wrong way to tell your woman how much you love her,and i believe they love it when you tell them in a crazy creative way,ONCE IN A WHILE .

Old 08-16-2005, 09:07 AM   #4
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 59
bendb HB User
Re: How to show her?

I don't have the finances available to back out of this lease. If I break the lease and lose that money, I won't have enough left to go anywhere else. I don't really have a choice but to live with her. I know it will kill me if we don't work things out, but I really can't do anything else. I don't know what I should do. Why do I love her so much? I tried to tell myself that I didn't, but who was I kidding. I am completely 100% in love with her and no matter how hard I try to change that I can't. I thought all women wait for that one guy who will do anything for them. Why can't she see how much I love her. Her mother called me last night. She told me not to tell my gf that she called. She told me that no matter what happens, I am always one of her guys. She told me that no one can treat her daughter better than I can. She said that she only wishes one of the guys she fell in love with had treated her as good as I treat her daughter. I can't help how I feel about her.

Old 08-16-2005, 09:14 AM   #5
Junior Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 39
cynphul HB User
Re: How to show her?

Perhaps shes just blind. I mean telling someone how you feel is a completely different story than showing them. Maybe she's just as scared as you are for the 'second time around' and is also pulling the "do i love him? NO... wait.. yes.. no.. yes" thing that you are. You honestly need to show her something that demonstrates your love and then sit her down and explain it. And you're right- at least then you'll know you gave it all you had. Best of luck friend

Old 08-16-2005, 02:49 PM   #6
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 59
bendb HB User
Re: How to show her?

She called me today. Her best friend is separating from her husband. She told me she wants me to move out of our house and let her friend take my room. She said she didn't think us living together would work. I said I'd like to wait a while and see if things will work out or not and she said that she would pay rent, but she wouldn't stay there if I was living there. I asked her if this meant she was giving up hope for our relationship and she said yes. I am beyond shocked. Friday night, her birthday, I held her and kissed her and now she told me she won't stay in the same house as me. What is it with her? Feelings can't go from that strong to that gone in a day or two, or at least I didn't think they could. Five years worth of love is gone just like that. I suppose I have no choice but to find a new place to live. I'm not going to linger where I'm obviuosly not wanted. I'm at a loss for words here. I don't know what to say. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust another.

Old 08-16-2005, 03:07 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 1,311
heartlandguy HB User
Re: How to show her?

She certainly isn’t giving you the same benefit of the doubt that you have extended to her. Her attempt at reconciliation seems half-hearted and weak-willed. If you two did get back together, it could be déjà vu all over again.

You deserve better.

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