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therapy--but not married or engaged?

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Old 08-24-2005, 12:44 PM   #1
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Belledin HB User
therapy--but not married or engaged?

Has anyone here gone to therapy with a significant other that you are not married to or even engaged to?

my boyfriend and I have had a tumultuous relationship over the past year and a half. we seem to have some sort of connection that we just can't get past. in a way, i don't WANT to get past it, and neither does he. we both want desperately to be together, and to be happy. he has a lot of difficulties with relationships--his parents have not provided a good model (but mine have).

in the past, most of our problems have centered around misunderstandings and miscommunications. i have a hard time trying to get him to express how he's feeling once he gets into a "funk." then i feel rejected and insecure, and it goes downhill.

we recently started seeing each other again, and it's wonderful. but, we're both fearful that the same problems will start plaguing us. he approached me about going to therapy. he's decided that he probably would benefit from individual counseling, and thought we might benefit from going as a couple, as well.

my concern is that we're not married or even engaged--has anyone else done this? has it helped? the way we're looking at it is that it certainly can't hurt. also, is it expensive?

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Old 08-24-2005, 01:24 PM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2005
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caput1996 HB Usercaput1996 HB User
Re: therapy--but not married or engaged?

Well, we've never been to counseling other than our premarital counseling sessions that were required before we were to be married, but I don't see your going being a bad thing at all. The fact that your boyfriend was the one who suggested it says a whole lot. It means that he definitely wants it to work and he's willing to work on whatever it is that is causing problems in relationships...yours as well as others. I would go into it with an open mind and most importantly, be honest with the doctor as well as yourself. I'm not sure about costs, but I'm sure it will be worth it. It sounds like your relationship will be fine.

Old 08-24-2005, 02:55 PM   #3
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midniteridr500 HB User
Re: therapy--but not married or engaged?

I am currently going to therapy with my boyfriend and we are not engaged. We are seeing a therapist that does what is called imago therapy and it is really good. I always feel better about our relationship after each session.
Insurance is covering ours so maybe it will cover yours too. I think it is a good idea!

Old 08-25-2005, 09:37 AM   #4
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Re: therapy--but not married or engaged?

I had my boyfriend attend a few sessions w/ me - I have a regular therpist. It was actually really good, we were having some problems about a year ago and we've had a lot of progress because of the therapy I feel. It really helped us learn how to communicate in a fair and open way.

If you are serious about this relationship, it's definitely worth doing whatever you can to see if it can work!

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