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Parents are divorcing, need advice.

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Old 08-28-2005, 10:50 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 52
s_mckenna HB User
Parents are divorcing, need advice.

After 32 years of marriage my mom accused my dad of having an affair and has left him and served him with divorce papers. My dad ... a highly unemotional man is now depressed everyday. I even heard him crying the other night when I got up to go bathroom. My dad never cries.

I've been living at home so I can work my way out of debt ... however things have turned for the worst. My mom left to live with my older sister, I stayed at home with my dad ... however a part of me wants terribly to move out because the mood at home is grim and so very depressing. My dad doesnt want to talk or even eat. I've tried to get him out of the house but he just wants to wallow away in his own misery.

My dad and I arent very close and we never have been. He was abusive and beat me when I was younger so I automatically feel uncomfortable around him. Basically I need advice. Can I move out without feeling guilty about leaving my dad behind to take care of himself .... or do I need to stick around and take care of him. He doesnt have many friends, my mom was his only friend. She also took the dog so he just sits alone when he's not working.

I dont want to live there. But I dont want to feel guilty about leaving him to fend for himself through such hard times.

Please, what should I do ?


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Old 08-28-2005, 11:34 AM   #2
Join Date: Aug 2005
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markline HB User
Re: Parents are divorcing, need advice.

Do you know if your father did have the affair that your mother has accused him of?

Old 08-28-2005, 11:41 AM   #3
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Daphnee HB User
Re: Parents are divorcing, need advice.


I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time right now. It seems when it rains it pours and always comes at the worse time in ones life. I would suggest you do what you have to do to make the best of this situation. If it would make you feel more at peace to move then do it.

I know the guilt of it all leaves you in much confusion and sadness but you're not really helping yourself by living with someone that leaves a dark cloud hanging over you making you feel bad as well. You can be his rock but don't allow yourself to get crushed in the process.I think you can provide him with all the support he needs even if you decide to move out By reqular phone calls and visits. Take care and good luck on whatever you decide to do.

Old 08-30-2005, 10:11 AM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 52
s_mckenna HB User
Re: Parents are divorcing, need advice.

i've decided to move out and take your advice as i thought the same thing as well ... providing support for him while living on my own.

thank you,

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