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is this normal in relationships

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Old 09-07-2005, 08:31 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2005
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sml83 HB User
Unhappy is this normal in relationships

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year (we are both 22) and lately it seems as if the 'spark' has fizzled out.
I feel as if every day is the same as the next...
I fear that he's lost his feelings for me for a couple of reasons. He has once again started to contact an ex that he was close to until I got upset 6 months ago and he took her off his cell phone. He also seems to almost "expect" sexual favors, and afterwards he goes right back to watching tv, whereas he used to seem much more appreciative..
I also fear that i've lost feelings for him because when we kiss I don't feel anything like I used to. It feels so empty.
I do love him... because I get extremely hurt when he talks to this ex girlfriend..... and I can't imagine myself without him... But I feel like I need a week to myself.. not a break from the relationship.. just a week to myself.
How should I approach this....?
This happened before and I didn't talk to him for a couple days and after that the relationship seemed renewed somehow, but there's gotta be a better way than avoiding him for 2 days.
I want to talk to him about it, but I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing, and I'm scared of what the answer might be.

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Old 09-07-2005, 01:49 PM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 369
gamecock360 HB User
Re: is this normal in relationships

This happened to me with the first relationship I was in. Neither one of us wanted to admit it but we knew deep in our hearts that things had changed. We would take breaks or what not but it would always end up back where it was. We ended up breaking up. If I were you I would think about moving on now because I would want a man that would want to be around me to have fun not just sexual favors and then not pay attention to me.
You seem like a great person. There are a lot of guys out there. I am only 23 but I think we are both very young and should have fun right now.
Take care of youself and know we are always here for you. (cyberhug)

Last edited by gamecock360; 09-07-2005 at 01:52 PM.

Old 09-07-2005, 03:27 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,335
Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: is this normal in relationships

I couldn't quite tell from your post if you are living together or not. You mentioned him going back to the TV?
If you are living together the first thing I would do is move out on my own.
There's a great side to being independent and it gives a guy a bit of a challenge rather than having you there already.

If you're not living together I'd skip any TV dates altogether for awhile. He might find that he needs to get a little creative again in order to spend time with you.

You don't mention love. Do you still love him?

Old 09-07-2005, 05:47 PM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 621
evy38 HB User
Re: is this normal in relationships

Every woman should have a life of her own, beyond her man. It makes her life, hence her, more interesting and lets a man know he doesn't have a 100% hold on her. If a man knows he doesn't have a 100% hold, on a women, he tends to take her for granted less and works a little harder to keep her. This is not a bad thing, considering it's usually the woman who works harder to make a relationship work.

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