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The need to be right can cost you a friend.

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Old 09-11-2005, 10:46 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: PBG, Fl, USA
Posts: 197
Kali HB User
The need to be right can cost you a friend.

So I have this "friend". I use the term loosely as it seems everything is on her terms, and the relationship is only good as long as she dictates it to be so. She is a control freak, and has to be right about everything. She also suffers from some mental anxiety and depression issues, which I KNOW for a fact contributes to her irrational behavior, but still, it's no excuse.

She's a very smart woman, educated, has a great job, etc. So smart though, that she thinks she's Gods gift to health care. She is an LPN, which is BELOW a practical nurse, but has the audacity to question my husband who IS a doctor. This is just one of many examples, but it seems no matter the topic, she always knows of someone who is in that profession, and so that makes her an expert, or she has a "friend of a cousin whose mother is sisters" to the leading authority, and so that too makes her an expert. It gets VERY tiring to be in her company, as EVERYTHING is a battle.

Well, we recently got into a discussion, which started out innocently enough (as they always do), and once again she tried to throw her "training" in health care around, which thoroughly did NOT impress me. I finally conceded, threw my hands in the air, and said "fine, you win, discussion over". I had litterally had it by then, and was not up for one of her "debates". Nor do I care. If I can't offer an opinion, when it is ASKED for no less, without being "put in my place", then I have nothing to say. I haven't spoke to her in about a week now.

I also have no desire to play the catty woman thing. I will simply walk away, hang up, sign off, what ever. Of course I get a message from her telling me I'm a hypocrite, and that I need to take a long hard look at myself, yadda yadda yadda. OH PLEASE.

At this point I'm so relieved I don't have to talk her. It's nice. I feel like I walk on egg shells the moment I open my mouth in her presence, because EVERYTHING will be corrected. So exhausting!!

My husband has nothing nice to say about her. He thinks she's a wacko. Before we got married her and I were close, and of course she got weird when we started dating. She has no other (well, none that I know of) female friends. Or any friends for that matter. Now I know why. He has called her a stalker, and he predicted on many occasions that she would try to break us up. She never went that far, but has made quite a few nasty comments about him being American, and me, being a Canadian moving to America to be with him.

He kept saying "Single White Female"... the movie. Now I see it. It took me two years, but now I see it.

I have no desire to seek her out and fix this, however, should she contact me, I want to know what I'm going to say. And it's going to be something along the lines of her and I needing to distance ourselves, as we're obviously not compatible. My committment is to my husband and my soon to be family, not making the life of a lonely woman complete by stroking her ego. I obviously can't say THAT, so now I'm at a loss. I wish her the best, and I don't want to be mean to her, but she's not who I see myself socializing with seeing as how every time we are together there is a spat. I just don't have the energy for it.

What the heck do I say to her?

Last edited by Kali; 09-11-2005 at 10:50 AM.

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