It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 11-13-2005, 07:51 PM   #1
    DonutsNCoffee
    Senior Veteran
     
    DonutsNCoffee's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 981
    DonutsNCoffee HB User
    What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    I have a friend who I recently decided to ask out on a date. She said yes, but explained that she's not looking for anything serious right now, but that she would be fine going out on "a friendly date". And I can understand her reluctance to get back into a serious relationship. She just ended one a few months ago and I think she just wants to focus on herself for a while. So that part makes perfect sense and I'm perfectly with fine just going on "a friendly date" with her. I really like her, but I certainly don't want to pressure her if she's not ready to do any "serious" dating. But to avoid any misunderstandings later on, I just want to make sure that she and I are on the same page as far as what "a friendly date" is. So I thought I would pose the question here, mainly for the women to answer. If you told a guy you were friends with that you just wanted to go on "a friendly date", how would you want him to interpret that?

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 11-13-2005, 08:00 PM   #2
    SophiaM
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    SophiaM's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2003
    Posts: 5,529
    SophiaM HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    Hmmm, that's a term I've never used before, to be honest. "Friendly date" is not in this woman's vocabulary LOL. But since a woman said that to you, it could be interpreted in a number of ways. Either she is a bit scared after her last relationship and just wants to take it slow at first but generally likes you and is opent to something more possibly developing somewhere down the road. OR it could be just a line, i.e. she might not be sure she's attracted to you "in that way" and doesn't want you to have any expectations. Nobody knows which one is true, and there could possibly be other interpretations, but this is what came to my mind. I think you should go out with her but don't try to be all romantic from the beginning. Just spend time with her and try to get to know her, and see how she's responding to you. If she seems to respond positively, agrees to dates and seems to be enjoying your company, I think you will know how to proceed. On the other hand, if she's really flaky, never has time to talk to you and rarely returns your calls, means she's not very interested. You will know by the way she behaves. You have nothing to lose by going out with her, either way. If she seems to respond positively to you, you can try to hold her hand and kiss her after a few dates. But for now, I would say try to be charming but not pushy. Good luck!

     
    Old 11-13-2005, 09:38 PM   #3
    DonutsNCoffee
    Senior Veteran
     
    DonutsNCoffee's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 981
    DonutsNCoffee HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    Sophia, that's pretty much how I plan to approach it even though I still don't know if she's genuinely interested in me or not. For now, I'm accepting her answer at face value. I don't know all the details of what happened with her last relationship, but I gather it wasn't very good and I'm thinking that she's scared of jumping back into something too soon or ending up with the wrong guy again. She's also a single mother so I'm sure that's making her even more cautious. I'm going to focus on being a good friend to her cause I think she really needs that. I won't try to be all romantic and kiss her on the first date or that sort of thing. I'd rather just let her become more comfortable with me and hopefully someday she'll trust me enough to maybe explore something more serious. I'm just hoping this isn't her way of saying, "I like you, but just as a friend." We've always been honest with one another though. I think if she weren't interested, she would've just said so.

     
    Old 11-13-2005, 10:22 PM   #4
    lostsoul1
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    lostsoul1's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2005
    Posts: 201
    lostsoul1 HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    Well, it's never good to rush things anyway. She's probably trying to lower expectations, but if you perform really well on the date, you might find her wanting that kiss. Just sounds like she's being cautious and will wait and see how it goes... as you should too. Good luck!

     
    Old 11-13-2005, 11:57 PM   #5
    Gundam
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Sep 2004
    Posts: 294
    Gundam HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    friendly dating ... might mean ... just go out to have dinner or a movie ... kissing might still be OK ... but don't even think about anything beyond that ...

    It's a very weird term ...

     
    Old 11-14-2005, 02:09 AM   #6
    Hazel_Eyes
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    Hazel_Eyes's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2005
    Location: Australia
    Posts: 347
    Hazel_Eyes HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    I never heard of that one too.. I agree with Sophia, 'Friendly Date' is not in MY vocabulary. Why dont you ask her? Our version of 'friendly date' could be different from hers. Ask her what she means that way there are no misunderstandings. - well thats what I would do

     
    Old 11-14-2005, 05:47 AM   #7
    lostsoul1
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    lostsoul1's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2005
    Posts: 201
    lostsoul1 HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    I'm a relatively unfriendly person, so I think I'd do poorly on a "friendly date."

     
    Old 11-14-2005, 07:34 AM   #8
    DonutsNCoffee
    Senior Veteran
     
    DonutsNCoffee's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 981
    DonutsNCoffee HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    It's a little late to ask her what she meant by it. I'll just follow her lead and figure it out along the way.

     
    Old 11-14-2005, 09:43 AM   #9
    eklektika
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    eklektika's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2004
    Posts: 204
    eklektika HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    I think she means more as friends...she is probably not ready for romance. So just be friendly and maybe a little flirty but nothing more....if she wants more she'll probably subtly hint it

     
    Old 11-19-2005, 08:46 PM   #10
    DonutsNCoffee
    Senior Veteran
     
    DonutsNCoffee's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 981
    DonutsNCoffee HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    Well we went out on our "friendly date". We got together at 5 for drinks, then went to dinner, then went for a walk and before I knew it, it was 12:00. Sure didn't feel like 7 hours. After dinner, she was very flirty. She'd touch me, hold my hand when we were walking, brush up against me a lot, and let me hold her and kiss her goodnight and it was more than just a peck. So it's safe to say we're not just friends anymore. I won't see her until after the holiday weekend so it'll be interesting to see how she acts from now on.

     
    Old 11-19-2005, 08:51 PM   #11
    SophiaM
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    SophiaM's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2003
    Posts: 5,529
    SophiaM HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by DonutsNCoffee
    Well we went out on our "friendly date". We got together at 5 for drinks, then went to dinner, then went for a walk and before I knew it, it was 12:00. Sure didn't feel like 7 hours. After dinner, she was very flirty. She'd touch me, hold my hand when we were walking, brush up against me a lot, and let me hold her and kiss her goodnight and it was more than just a peck. So it's safe to say we're not just friends anymore. I won't see her until after the holiday weekend so it'll be interesting to see how she acts from now on.
    Hey, sounds promising so far! In all likelihood, she was just scared because of her last relationship. I think she does like you!

     
    Old 11-19-2005, 09:03 PM   #12
    lostsoul1
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    lostsoul1's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2005
    Posts: 201
    lostsoul1 HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    That's so awesome, Donuts! There are happy endings after all. Congrats on a great night.

     
    Old 11-19-2005, 09:15 PM   #13
    DonutsNCoffee
    Senior Veteran
     
    DonutsNCoffee's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 981
    DonutsNCoffee HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    I think she likes me too. But I know that she's afraid of getting hurt so I'm going to take things really slow. I just have to figure how soon before asking her out again and where to take her. Our first date was at a really expensive restaurant so I wanna try something different for our next date, assuming there is a next date.

     
    Old 11-19-2005, 11:16 PM   #14
    LostMyHeart
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    LostMyHeart's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Location: USA
    Posts: 634
    LostMyHeart HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    Sounds like a great time!!
    Glad to hear things went well. Just keep on doing what you're doing and all should be just fine!

     
    Old 11-20-2005, 01:42 AM   #15
    Cannalee
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Cannalee's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2005
    Location: Kansas
    Posts: 117
    Cannalee HB User
    Re: What does a woman usually mean by 'a friendly date'?

    DonutsNCoffee: I like your name! I am glad you had a good time on your "friendly date"...unlike the other posters, I have in fact used those very words in the past when accepting dates...I meant "no strings attached, just go out to have a fun time"...I agree with the consensus of the other posters that she just is wanting to play it cautious...that the date went so well is a very good start, but I would caution you not to be too disheartened if the next time you ask her out if she doesn't make some excuse that she "can't" ie. like "sick kid" or she herself has other plans, etc...in fact, the more fun she had, and the more she apparently liked you, I would be surprised if she didn't turn you down flatter than a fritter the next time you ask her out...out of plain being scared of liking you too much...I know it sounds weird but hey, I'm willing to bet I'm close to right! Anyway, if you get turned down, just be understanding and ask if she'd give you a raincheck for some other time...but don't push...then wait a week and ask again--odds are good she'll say yes the next time...she's scared of going too fast, but if she's interested she'll be too scared to say no a second time for fear you'll quit asking...unless of course she really can't go out that particular date, in which case she'll make it clear she wants you to ask again! Does this make sense?
    Good luck!

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    What the heck is wrong with me? takenbylovely Open to All Other Health Topics 3 07-20-2011 08:59 PM
    He's Hot and Cold, what does it mean reba423 Relationship Health 12 11-16-2009 03:20 PM
    What Does This Mean.. I Ignore Her Then She Emails Me Again! eric24 Relationship Health 34 12-19-2007 11:09 AM
    How do I ask a guy "what are we doing" without turning him off? farceur66 Relationship Health 36 08-17-2007 12:16 PM
    What is and what should never be OokieWonderslug Depression 6 08-26-2005 05:14 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:51 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!