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    Old 11-28-2005, 02:13 AM   #1
    farceur66
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    Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Hello,

    I have posted on this board many times. In case you do not remember my story, my husband came home one day to tell me he had fallen in love with a co-worker. That he and she were sending emails back and forth for months. She is also married. After he told me about her, we decided to work on our marriage. This woman co-worker knew my husband and I were trying to work out marriage out and yet she continued to pursue him - sending him sexy emails and sexy gestures. When I moved out of the house, she backed off and said she could not leave her husband. I know, everyone says it is the mans fault but I do not feel she is an innocent in this. While I spent Thanksgiving alone, she spent it with her husband. She knew my husband and I were trying to work our marriage, yet she made it a point to keep leading my husband on. (I am sure we have all met women like this before) He even told me she was partially to blame for what happened between them, and that she continued to pursue the relationship after he tried to work it out with me. Also, the reason she will not leave her husband is because he makes alot of money and she is high maintenance.

    I know I am going to sound bad for saying this but I have been thinking alot about getting revenge on this woman. Not now but if my husband files for divorce I am going to make this girl pay for my pain. Why should she be unharmed during this. I think her husband should know what she did. Why not, I found out. Also, this woman is not a nice person. Before my husband fell for her, he told me some not so nice things about her. She is the type that is a major backstabber. You know the type, talks about others to you but in return talks about you to others.

    Just thought I would share the evil side of me. If the divorce goes through, I will make my presence known to her. She did not care if we were trying to work our marriage, all she cared about was herself. Now she sits in her big house, with her husband and thinks she is all that. Probably laughing because she was the cause of a marriage breakup. She has NO idea who she is messing with.

    Am I bad for feeling this way?

    Last edited by farceur66; 11-28-2005 at 02:17 AM.

     
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    Old 11-28-2005, 04:09 AM   #2
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    I think it is only natural that you would WANT to get revenge on this woman, but I think your anger is misdirected. As hard as it may be to accept, this woman did/does not owe you anything. This woman did not take wedding vows with you. This woman did not lie and deceive you in order for the relationship to work. Your husband is the one that vowed to be with you and then turned outside of the relationship. HE is the one that likely lied to you in order for their relationship to continue. Blaming her and taking revenge on her is taking the responsibility off of him - the one that should own it.

    And in terms of the revenge, not sure on what exactly you are planning to do, but if you are thinking of killing or assaulting her, I really don't think its worth being in jail the rest of your life just so you can prove she messed with the wrong woman, but thats just my point of view.

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 04:22 AM   #3
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Are you MAD for feelings this? HECK NO!!!

    Before I start, my english is not perfect. English is my third language so I apologize in advance. Secondly, I would like to give you a big big HUG. I'm sorry you are going through this. I can't begin to imagine the pain and heartache you are going through! We are all here for you farceur66! You vent all you want!!!

    Ok... back to your post. It is definitely not just your husband's fault. It is both their faults! It takes two to tango! I think it's horrible that this woman won't leave your husband alone. I also find it infuriating that your husband isnt really making an effort in ignoring her. If he really cares about you and if he really wants to save your marriage - he needs to put his foot down and tell this woman off!!! He needs to make it absolutely clear that he doesnt want to have anything to do with her! He needs to tell her it's over and that he wants to be with you. Although this is her fault too... she can only do so much! She may try to seduce your husband and send him enticing emails, but it is up to him to accept it or not. Again, it takes two!!!

    Be that as it may, it is not an excuse. The least I can say about this woman - she is extremely selfish and inconsiderate. Ugh!! She is DOWNRIGHT HORRIBLE!

    Now this is my opinion, but I would definitely tell her husband. Id print out her emails and give it to her husband. I swear, I will do it. He has the right to know! She is cheating on him, she is using him and she is trying to ruin your marriage. I would definitely bring this to his attention! He needs to know the truth. Any partner deserves that! - He deserves the truth. Her man probably loves her to death and is working hard to keep her in that lap of luxury! And how does she repay him?!

    Divorce or no divorce - Ill tell her husband. That is just me. Im sure you are nicer than me so... Ill leave that up to you hun!

    Im really sorry... I hope your husband gets some sense knocked into him. If not, you do not need him. I dont know you farceur, but you sound like a strong woman. You will be fine without this man. I wish you all best...

    Take care of yourself...and keep us posted!
    Tell me if you decide to print those emails out

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 10:42 AM   #4
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    I'd probably tell her husband too... maybe we all have that evil bone in our bodies? I'd ream out my husband, I'd snitch out this woman's secret to HER husband, and leave them all to pick up the pieces for their betrayals

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 11:26 AM   #5
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Are you kidding??? If my marriage was broken up over this woman, I would SOOOO leave my husband and tell her husband....I bet it will help you to move on. Her husband deserves to know...tell him to get himself checked for STD's cause his wife can't keep her panties on! God I hate cheaters.

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 02:14 PM   #6
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    DO WHAT I DID, I FORCED MY WIFES BOYFRIEND TO TELL HIS WIFE , i LOVED THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEGGING (WHICH HE DID). OH... I TOOK THE EMAILS TO HER LATER...JUST TO BE SURE

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 02:21 PM   #7
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Do you have access to his emails that she sends him? print em out and mail them to his work!

    that's what i'd do. I'm in the same boat as you, I am pretty vendictive myself. and would want to seek revenge.

    But it won't make you look any better to be honest. You will just come across as bitter (which you have every right to be!). Whatever you can live with is my advice.

    I saw a girl on Doctor Phil who had a cheating husband, she sold all his baseball memorbilia piece by piece for dirt cheap! it didn't make her feel any better, but rather kept her from moving on.

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 02:31 PM   #8
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TTBABM
    DO WHAT I DID, I FORCED MY WIFES BOYFRIEND TO TELL HIS WIFE , i LOVED THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEGGING (WHICH HE DID). OH... I TOOK THE EMAILS TO HER LATER...JUST TO BE SURE
    hahahah! omg! that is awesome! so what happened to them? did you ever find out?

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 02:34 PM   #9
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    I think you should tell her husband, why not? He has a right to know he's being deceived. What he wants to do with that info is his problem. Why should she enjoy the fact she is successful in both seducing your husband AND keeping her own family "blissfully" ignorant as to what's going on? I think it's very normal for you to be angry and to want to shatter her "faithful" wife image in her husband's eyes. She is a sneaky, cheating woman and I think she deserves to be confronted with her actions.

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 03:36 PM   #10
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Good to know I am not the only one that is capable of revenge.

    I agree she did not marry me or take wedding vows with me but there is something about her that pisses me off. It is not that she was the object of my husbands desire but SHE kept working him over even though she had no intentions of leaving her husband. She did it out of pure pleasure of messing up someones marriage. She is probably laughing to herself that she is that wonderful that my husband would leave me and in the end, she still has her large house and husband. That is what is ******* me off. She is a nasty woman who deserves to be shown for what she is. I can be such a nice person but just do not mess with me. I have thought of so many mean things I could do to her. (none of them are violent or such). Over the years my husband has told me things this co-worker has said about other co-workers behind their backs. For example, she was a bridesmaid at a co-workers wedding. After the wedding she told my husband that she felt she was amongst rednecks and that the girls fiance was weird. She has also over the years trashed her husband. I do have an awesome memory and am willing to spill the beans so that she looks like an *** to a lot of people. I am sure her husband will not be very happy with the things I will have to tell him. (I will, of course, have to embellish the stories)

    Doing this revenge on her will make me feel better - - trust me. It is my husband I love, not her so it is easy for me to take my hate out on her plus I am sure my husband will get a visit from her husband. They will both most likely get in trouble at work since my husband is her boss, so on and so on. Like I said, I will only do this is my husband files for divorce and the divorce goes through. I would like my marriage to work but if in the end it does not, my pain will be her pain. BTW - I am not telling my husband I plan on doing this, nor will I ever tell him. Let him be suprised like I was when he came home announcing his love for this co-worker.

    When you decide to cheat with a married man/woman you had better think who their spouse is. Some spouses would not seek revenge, but some, like me, are out for their misery.

    I have also thought of doing mean (not violent) things to her in addition to tell her husband, things like sending a revenge co-worker email to her making her think someone at work does not like her. Sending her a body odor basket at work. The revenge is endless. Okay I am going to stop know.

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 04:04 PM   #11
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    i'm shocked at how many people are advocating any kind of revenge on this woman, even telling her husband. the fact of the matter was already made clear by one poster- this woman did not make a vow to you, your husband did. he needs to accept the responsibility for his actions. nobody can 'make' someone do anything he doesn't already want to do. be the bigger person and let it go. hurting her husband isn't going to make the situation any better, nor is humiliating people at their jobs. if you feel so badly that someone has treated you this way, why would you ever want to turn around and spread the hurt?

    assuming that this person is sitting in her house laughing is just that- an assumption. she sounds like she is sincerely disturbed, as is your husband. just be glad that you are of a saner mind and take the high road. i'm sorry for your pain and wish you the best of luck.

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 04:08 PM   #12
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    If her affair with your husband reached work... there is a possibility she might get fired! Same thing happened to my aunt. She had an affair with a married man and when word got out... SHE got fired. I dont know why it was just her... I guess she did all the seducing! hahahah!

    farceur Id definitely tell her husband. This woman is really nasty. Id probably even confront for - that is just me.

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 04:20 PM   #13
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    I think you are really reaching for a long shot in believing you are going to get your revenge, and then suddenly things are going to turn around and all go right and all make you feel better.

    If this woman is such a snake, if this woman is so seductive, what makes you think that after her husband finds out that she won't be able to worm her way right back into him? And they're still living "happily ever after".
    Why do you think he's going to just up and leave and completely forget her? You didn't with your husband, after all.

    I'm all for telling the husband. He has a right to know. But it's up to him to do something with that information, not you.
    I DO NOT think you should tell him as a form of revenge. I DO NOT think you should tell him to spite anyone. I think you should tell him because he has the right to know, and for no other reason. Whatever happens between them from there, is between them.

    Revenge is a powerful feeling. If it gets its hold on you, that's just the start of it, if you ask me. It starts to overtake you, and that's just when you start to lose YOURSELF.
    Once you lose yourself, you lose. Game over.
    Please don't let that happen. She's not worth it, he's not worth it.
    Better yourself, that's how you really win.

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 04:51 PM   #14
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by opielonghorn
    i'm shocked at how many people are advocating any kind of revenge on this woman, even telling her husband. the fact of the matter was already made clear by one poster- this woman did not make a vow to you, your husband did. he needs to accept the responsibility for his actions. nobody can 'make' someone do anything he doesn't already want to do. be the bigger person and let it go. hurting her husband isn't going to make the situation any better, nor is humiliating people at their jobs. if you feel so badly that someone has treated you this way, why would you ever want to turn around and spread the hurt?

    assuming that this person is sitting in her house laughing is just that- an assumption. she sounds like she is sincerely disturbed, as is your husband. just be glad that you are of a saner mind and take the high road. i'm sorry for your pain and wish you the best of luck.
    But WHY? Why should we always take the high road?? This woman hurt her and was deliberately trying to destroy her marriage. I know it takes two to tango, but what kind of a woman would do it to another woman, especially if she has no intention of leaving her own husband?? I understand the principle of taking the high road, but in reality, how often did it pay off? I think her husband should know what a despicable human being she is. She deserves to reap the fruits of her actions. Just my opinion, of course.

     
    Old 11-28-2005, 04:57 PM   #15
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    Re: Getting Revenge on Cheating Husbands Other

    I have to agree with lostmyheart, and it does take two to tango. My question is why would you waste your time and energy on someone that is not worth it? What you need to do is leave HIM, in the dust and get on with your life. Of course, you could call and yell at her, and that might work for the moment, but that is also immature and silly. I'm sure everyone one of us that have been in your shoes has lashed out at the other woman, but thats just as wrong as your husband cheating on you, breaking your vows. The best revenge is to live your life to the fullest, act like it doesn't bother you, and concentrate on making YOU happy. I think you are so caught up on revenge ideas that you lost yourself in the process. You sure do have a right to be angry, but use that anger constructively.

     
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