It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

I have mixed feelings for a female friend.. Am i lying to myself?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-04-2005, 10:07 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 91
dstalker3 HB User
I have mixed feelings for a female friend.. Am i lying to myself?

Alright. I write this to say that I feel like I can MAKE MYSELF fall in love with any girl. ANY. if I just keep looking at her alot, and hanging around her alot, and talk to her alot, and end up liking her...

So yeah, this is what's happening now. I just got over some other girl that didn't work out when I asked her out because basically we didnt know each other enough according to her, and she had just moved out of the city, too far for me currently... So yeah. A few months passed. Now let me tell you about this friend. This girl I've known and talked to for a few years already. She was really useful to me to explain school work, and in exchange I would do favors sometimes, like doing homework for her when she didnt have time. We walk home together usually because she lives on my path, and we talk enough in and out of school... Now here's the thing with her. She keeps saying she's fat and ugly and that no one likes her ( It's TOTALLY not true, she is a cute girl really ), but she either gives too much importance to what her cousin or mom or w/e says (out of jealousy or teasing) or really likes to be hard on herself. Maybe she knows she's cute. Maybe. Dunno, she may just not like to admit it. Bah.

So one day when she was commenting on her being ugly/fat ( she's REALLY not fat, I laugh at that one, she's closer to very skinny than to chubby, its really funny ) I said, " hey, listen, ill tell you just once(later explained it was cuz its weird for me to say a close friend like her is cute)... You are cute" she said "stop saying that, not true, you dont mean it, you never thought i was cute so shut mouth" etc. etc. (she's always lke that) then I repeated "you are cute" and it's like in that moment, I started liking complimenting her. Now I feel like complimenting her all the time. She's just so nice and cute. I want to hug her, tell her she's fine, she has nothing to worry about. I want to protect her. I don't pity her though. I respect her. And sometimes, I find myself wanting to kiss her... on the cheek of course... Once or twice I've thought of going out with her, holding her in my arms....

ERR! See the problem?! There's like 2 mixed feelings: one part wants to hug her/compliment her as a VERY VERY CLOSE FRIEND / SISTER-like, y'know, nothing more, really, serously. but another part, I think, really likes her... Damn I wish I knew myself more. I wonder if I'm just resisting and lying to myself because she's a friend. I mean I probably am, since I wrote this thread...

What should I do... What should I do...
Thanks for listening to my rambling T_T

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 12-04-2005, 10:29 PM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: California
Posts: 340
CyberNick HB User
Re: I have mixed feelings for a female friend.. Am i lying to myself?

You know when you dig deep down how you feel about her. You can't not be interested in someone and also be interested in them at the same time; meaning that if you saw her as only a "buddy" or a "sister" you wouldn't also have other feelings for her. If you are attracted to her, enjoy complimenting her, and feel urges to physically reach out to her, I'd say you're pretty into things. I don't think you'd feel those things for a sister (well, hopefully not anyways) lol.

If you're honestly not sure, just wait things out. It'd be better to wait and realize that maybe you do just see her as a good friend that's "cute", rather than going for something that might not be there and risking a friendship. If you find yourself becoming more interested and attracted to her as time passes, and you're thinking about her a lot, then go for it.

She also sounds like she may have self-esteem issues if she brings up her weight/appearance a lot... but some girls do that just to fish for compliments so who knows. You may not want to deal with that later on when it stops being cute.

Old 12-04-2005, 11:06 PM   #3
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 91
dstalker3 HB User
Re: I have mixed feelings for a female friend.. Am i lying to myself?

Ugh.. But there's a part of me that wants to hug her JUST to show I care as a friend... unless all that "friendly hug/cheekkiss" part is just myself lying to me and that there is no 2 feelings, just love.. ARGH but I could swear these friendly hugs exist... maybe I'm lying to myself without knowing/controlling it.

so confused...

Last edited by dstalker3; 12-10-2005 at 11:27 PM.

Old 12-10-2005, 11:27 PM   #4
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 91
dstalker3 HB User
Re: I have mixed feelings for a female friend.. Am i lying to myself?

Anyone else with that kind of experience? T_T Or willing to comment on it?

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Female having trouble making close female friends, any ideas? zm1111zm Relationship Health 17 06-02-2010 09:09 PM
not sure what to think of my recent feelings tnmomofive Relationship Health 8 07-25-2007 12:34 AM
Adoption Day- Mixed Feelings Marirose Family Planning / Adoption 28 09-15-2006 09:09 AM
Feelings That Won't Go Away, But You Want Them Too OutToLunch Relationship Health 33 02-23-2006 06:31 AM
Mixed feelings... lady346 Relationship Health 12 02-11-2006 07:49 AM
Mixed Feelings, Thinking of breaking up... M1K3L Relationship Health 23 08-23-2005 07:27 AM
so lonely, feelings too intense, i need someone to talk to bigbadfroggie Depression 6 08-07-2004 09:43 PM
Mixed signals DzdAndConfuzd Teen Health 2 12-19-2003 04:51 PM
Mixed Signals (rather long) sprout Bipolar Disorder 7 05-14-2003 09:11 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:47 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!