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Over-analyzer here :-) looking for some advice/oppinions

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Old 12-19-2005, 01:59 PM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 61
tshont HB User
Arrow Over-analyzer here :-) looking for some advice/oppinions

Something kind of happened between my boyfriend and I last night that I'm not quite sure what to think of. A little background info: we are both 18, been dating for 2 months and we are absolutely perfect for each other. Everything is great between us. Anyway, I had some wine (probably a little too much) and I was acting kind of ridiculous...coming onto him like crazy. I told him that I was all with him and I barely felt the alcohol. In the heat of it all, we ended up having sex. So far it sounds like no big deal right? Well it was our first time, and although things had been getting quite physical with us, we both wanted to wait as long as we could. I don't really regret it, I just kind of regret how it happened. Honestly, I wasn't all there, and I did feel the wine. Afterwards I was being a complete jerk to him, like he had taken advantage of me...even though I truly don't think he did, and I know he never would. We talked today and agreed that we both kind of messed up, but we loved each other and it wouldn't affect us. But it is bothering me. I don't know if it's his fault, for not stopping me, or mine for getting drunk and throwing myself all over him. I know, I'm crazy. Any advice would be great though. Thank you!

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Old 12-19-2005, 03:09 PM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2005
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Hiya HB User
Re: Over-analyzer here :-) looking for some advice/oppinions

This is exactly why using any sort of substance to alter yourself and lose control while you're alone with a member of the opposite sex you're not in a commited, ESTABLISHED relationship is never a good idea, but hindsight is 20/20. It sounds like you've both taken responsibility for the mistakes you may have made and the errors in judgment. While he could perhaps have been more of a gentleman and realized you were drunk (assuming you were more drunk than he was) and he could have made the decision not to have your first time take place under such circumstances, it may be a little naive to expect an 18-year-old boy with raging hormones to be that much of a gentleman. Assuming you never said "no" or "stop" that he ignored, it doesn't sound like there was any force, no? Just being under the influence and bad judgment. I'd say move on from here. As long as you had a talk and both decided it was a mistake and you both made errors in judgment, it doesn't have to end the relationship. You don't have to keep the physical aspect on the same level now that you've taken it that far. You can backtrack and go back to where you were before and wait to resume your physical relationship until you both are ready and feel it's the right time, and you both are of clear minds.

Old 12-19-2005, 06:49 PM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 151
muzicman66 HB User
Re: Over-analyzer here :-) looking for some advice/oppinions

nothing more to add.

Old 12-20-2005, 02:10 AM   #4
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phoenixgal77 HB User
Re: Over-analyzer here :-) looking for some advice/oppinions

you are so young and it shows. First off you aren't even of legal age to be drinking. I had my daughter at 11 days before my 19th birthday and I thought I was in love and knew what love I see that 18 is still a baby. I am sorry but there is no way that you know this guy is perfect for you after only dating 2 months. I commend you for atleast waiting 2 months before you slept together, instead of like most raging hormonal teenagers that just jump into bed the first night. You are sooo young and take it from me, you have your whole life ahead of you. Then you say you "kinda" accused this guy of taking advantage of let it happen alchohol or put yourself in that predicament. Why are all you young kids into growing up so fast, there is sooo much more to life tha sex and lust. Please, go to college, get a job, get your priorities together and then focus on sex. Trust me, my man left and I have been single and celibate and there ain't nothing wrong with that!

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