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co-workers and deciet, feeling used

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Old 12-25-2005, 04:14 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: miami, Fl
Posts: 412
mochi* HB Usermochi* HB User
co-workers and deciet, feeling used

Hi, I am writing kstly just to vent, sorry fro the bah-humbug on x-mas but I am kind of disgusted with my co-workers right now. I work at a fancy resturant with a few other 2-sometging year old girls,. a sad, bitchy overworked owner and a wonderful chef and bartender. Anyways, I recently became better friends with one of the other waitresse who i was wary of at first because she seems so catty and two-faced. The other one is very obviously fake and even admits to not liking other women. They are boththis way, and it has escalted beacuse they pretned to be my friends and then turn aroud and talk behind my back or be rude to me, I was going through a very stressful period when I was gog to trail against someone who had been stalkig me, it was VERY stressful. They all pretemnded to be supportive, but then I found out today from the ne c-worker that pretends to be my friend that they were thiking of fiering me becuase I had been slipping at wotk, which, in my opinion is a extreme exaggeration... I make mistakes, and get distractyed, but all in all I bust my booty and reciev very good feedback from most customers. My boss, however, who the other gilrs suck up to, andf I don;t seems to nit oick at me, though she is very ahrd on everyone and finds the one thing I do wrong out of 100 things I do right, and, I think the other gilrs and repoting to her when I mess up something like forgetting one drink for a table, or even more very trivial stuff.. that they forget allt he time too, it is just ghuman....
but, tonight the one wiatress, my supposed friend told me they were thinking of fiering me, and she encourgaed the not too, only she didn't say it in a nice way it came up becuase she says, oh, the boss gives us clothes all the time (meaning her anfd the other waitress not me though, and I said, she said she was gonna give me some clothes but she never did, maybe cuase I don't kiss up to her all the time, my boss is very iserbale woman and likes to make other peolle feel bad, even the other girls admit this, and talk about it alot, but turn around and kiss her butt, I'm nice to her, but nor fake, if she is rude to me, I'll let her know,in a tactful manner...
so my "friend" says oh, well I know why she didn't give you any clothes, and looks all giddy like she has a funny but nervious secert, and then, afetr I asked her what a few times, and her laughing, asaying oh, I can;t tekk you, she sayd infront of my boyfriend and friends, very proudly that the boss and discussed with the other two waitresses fiering me, but that she had put it off for three weeks whatever that means, becuase apparently I wasnt doing a good enough job even though I work 10 1/2 hour shifts with no break until 3 am sometimes, with NO OTHER WAITSTAFF,,,,,,
it is messed up.....
at first I was just hurt becuase everyone had just been telling me how gre at I am to work with, and I'd bee getting alot of good commebt cads form customers, except my boss is never staifiued, and I had just gien them all x mas presents even though I don't do x- mas, and I thught we were all cool,
so, it hurt my feelng to here that forgetting a drink or two, or not folding the napkins pefctly or whatever it is I do so wrong, whicjh I'm don't know what it is cuase they seem to mae the same small mistakes as me, more than or neraly to just as often,
i just fekt picked on cause I don;t kiss up, and I'm not fake, and they knew I was going through this paif8ul trail, and almost seemed to use it to make them look better so thery could get my sheule, ehich is more than my friend's who told me myy time was going to get cut, except thats he saved me?
then I alos got upset whne my boyfriend pointed out that he was ****** becayse she had seemed to do it in such a way that would not only make me lok bad, and her look like a great friend for defending me, but alos embaress me ad hurt my feelings in fornt of all these people,
wouldn't a real friend tell you that you boss is thinkg of fiering you?
Do you think she mad it up?
my boss wouldnb;t chane the schedule ewhen the girls asked, so I still had the second most work times
I don;t know, I just feel cheated and lied to and treated like crap, I have had tons of jobs and never been fiered, never got en anything but great recoomendations and acheived friendship wirth y co-workers and bosses ost of which I am still talk to
anyways, I just fel bad and want to know why people can be so two-faced....

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Old 12-25-2005, 07:09 AM   #2
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,410
cookiepls HB User
Re: co-workers and deciet, feeling used


Gossip and backstabbing in the workplace is just a sad fact of life sometimes. Usually, the boss is the one who sets the tone for the employees, knowingly or unknowingly. Your boss is probably unhappy too. Her negative attitude has set the tone in your workplace. The other employees obviously don't feel secure with their jobs so they do a fair share of brown nosing and backstabbing in an attempt to hold on to their position. Things won't get better where you are now, until and unless your boss makes changes in her own life first. Not likely. There are so many other nice restaraunts out there. Have you considered applying to one of them?

A good boss or manager can make all the difference in the world. Find the right one, and you'll be looking forward to going to work there. The job can be exactly the same, the hours just as long, but with a supportive and encouraging boss, the workload seems lighter and the employees tend to support each other more.

Old 12-25-2005, 10:10 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,787
galinaqt HB User
Re: co-workers and deciet, feeling used

I feel very sorry for you since I was suffering a lot at workplace in my life. If you can change the job is the best thing you can do. Preferably work for big place, better be one of a 100, than 1 of 3. Small group and mostly women sounds bad. If you can't change try to talk to the boss without witnesses it is hard but I don't think it will make matters worse may be help some.

Old 12-26-2005, 05:29 AM   #4
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 396
wildcat66 HB User
Re: co-workers and deciet, feeling used

I would find a new job, I would say there are alot of places needing a wait staff. Also when you find that new job leave your personal life at home.If you dont give information its difficult for other to gossip about you.

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