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Husband MIA for Christmas

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Old 12-25-2005, 07:32 PM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,238
Soulcatcher HB User
Husband MIA for Christmas

Christmas eve and Christmas day came and went and no sign of husband. He lost his job last week. We have been seperated for a few years due to his drinking. No one knows where he is. He did call and leave a message and sounded really depressed almost hateful. I don't have caller I.D either. When I tried to find out where the number came from it was in Texas. He's supposed to be in Florida. He knows my cell phone and didn't bother to call it to talk to the kids. Do you know what it felt like to see his presents and be around our family? No one brought him up because they know it's not a good subject. I am still in the detaching stage with him. I think we are about to lose our house and me and the kids will be in the streets. With no way to contact him I have no idea what's going on financially. I guess I need support. His alcoholism is getting so bad, If he did turn up missing I wouldn't know when to put out a missing person's report. It's all so heart breaking. Our kids are still little and I have lied to them so much to his where abouts. I told them he was taking care of Grandpa of missed us soooo much and how he wished he could be there. I hate lying to my children. Sorry this is long. You just can't love someone and not want to be there for them. I hope you all had a great holiday. Merry Christmas for what it's worth.

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Old 12-26-2005, 07:31 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: The UK
Posts: 1,314
Nina000 HB User
Re: Husband MIA for Christmas

So sorry for what you are going through, I hope that you and the kids managed to have a Christmas as nice as it can get!
It is a nightmare situation this but you need all the self-composure in the world to resolve this issue.
I had an Alcoholic ex, and I never looked forward to having any holiday with him, I always had fear of loss, and rightly so. Very late, I learned not to worry about what's beyond my control. However, being financially dependent on him, and havinf children with him, is an unimaginable situation and requires a very strong woman to go through...
I don't know what to suggest, but can't you spend the holidays with your family? Then just try to sort out all these issues after the New Year?
My thoughts are with you, and I really hope that things get better for you...Please vent here whenever you want and keep us updated.
Take good care of yourself

Old 12-26-2005, 08:10 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 5,530
SophiaM HB User
Re: Husband MIA for Christmas

Soulcatcher, it must be so difficult and heartbreaking to be going through this. I, too, hope that you at least had a nice enough Christmas with your family, even though I'm sure this was still on your mind. Your husband sounds out of control. I think the sooner you get the divorce finalized, the better. Right now it is eating you alive, so to speak. I can't even imagine how you must feel not even knowing where your husband is, when he's going to come back, and if anything happened to him. This stress is definitely not worth it. I think you should go see an attorney and get professional advice on what to do in this situation when the person you want to divorce is not even present and you don't have his address, and what you can possibly do to salvage the house, or at least be able to sell it so that you and your kids have a roof over your heads. In a special situation like that, where your husband is a severe alcoholic and doesn't act in a responsible way, putting his entire family in financial jeopardy, I would think the law has some special course of action. You really need professional advice and soon. Good luck, I will also keep my fingers crossed for you and your kids

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