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trusting boyfriend

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Old 01-13-2006, 04:13 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2006
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magwyle HB User
trusting boyfriend

I need help because I am worried so much about my relationship with my boyfriend. We've been together for two years and for a while we got along so well. He would drive two hours just to spend a few hours with me and then get up at 4 to get to work on time. He was really sweet and kind. Now, we live together because he moved here for me. He still tells me he loves me but we don't spend any time together anymore. He sleeps on the couch every night and has given me different reasons for it but the reason keeps changing. He went out just a few days after we brought our baby home because he said his friend needed his help then the next day when I ask I find out that he needed his help at a strip club. He is really friendly and he has several female friends one that he talks to a lot and I read one of the text message conversations which I know is wrong but it was him asking her if he could lay with her and about sleeping together. When I asked he told me that he had never told this girl that he had just had a baby because they really aren't that close. He told me it meant nothing and was a joke and that he just wouldn't talk to her anymore but I know she has sent him messages since though I don't know if he writes back. Now I am sleeping alone every night and he has started looking at porn alone at night. He always made a point of saying he really wasn't interested in porn though we did watch it together a few times but now that it's alone I feel strange about it. He keeps telling me that he loves only me and would never do anything to risk our relationship but I keep thinking that these things can't be nothing None of this fits with who I thought he was and now I don't know what to think.

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Old 01-13-2006, 04:32 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 632
LostMyHeart HB User
Re: trusting boyfriend

The writing's all over the wall, all you gotta do is read it.
I wouldn't trust him, either.

Old 01-13-2006, 04:41 PM   #3
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 517
jenn.e HB User
Re: trusting boyfriend

I really hope you dont believe him. Hopefully you will find a way to leave him and move on with your life.
married 6/26/04
DD born 5/25/05

Old 01-13-2006, 05:14 PM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 78
bluegreeneyeguy HB User
Re: trusting boyfriend

He needs to come clean anbout how he feels about you.

Old 01-13-2006, 06:12 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,104
tnmomofive HB User
Re: trusting boyfriend

I agree something is very fishy here obviously.The whole sleeping on the couch deal but yet he will look at porn at night.The messege he sent to this other girl I would never believe that,that was just a joke or meant nothing,besides even if it had been a joke why would he do that? when he is living with you.

good luck

Old 01-13-2006, 06:34 PM   #6
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 1,418
GypsyArcher HB User
Re: trusting boyfriend

Men are programmed to spread their seed around. So now that he accomplished that with you, he has lost interest and his eye is wandering in every other possible direction. Yeah, they all seem dreamy at first. Why didn't they two of you get married? Well, considering how things are going now, it is probably better that you didn't.

I don't know if there is any way to get your boyfriend to be interested in you again. It sounds like you started a family without first actually being a family. He obviously is not very devoted to you. And is preoccupied now with laying other women. That won't go away. He MAY love you, but he doesn't lust after you anymore. His hormones are steering him in all kinds of other directions. It is not fair to you, but that is how it is.

I'd get out with your child, get your child support from the father, and thrive on your own. But if you want to stay with him, then you will just have to deal with the fact that he does not find you attractive or sexually appealing anymore. I am not saying that you aren't attractive. But it is clear that he was not ready to be a father, and doesn't look at you the same way now that you're a mother. That is too bad, but you are going to have to lay down the law here. I know it's hard to look at the facts, but don't hurt yourself by being willfully naive.

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