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Old 01-17-2006, 11:44 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Pensacola, FL, USA
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M1K3L HB User

Good Evening :-)

Well, I got a phone call from one of my friends who I haven't heard from in months tonight. She called to tell me she is getting married. At first it didn't sink in, but now it's just like WOW! I also found out some time ago that one of my neighbor's daugthors who I used to play with when I was growing up and knew most of my life.. is married and has kids and is on her own now. One of my other friends who I've known for 4 years got married, had a baby, they got seperated, and now she is in love again :-) Even if things don't work out, at least she has a beautful daughter which she will love and be loved always. She'll never be "alone".

Why can't this finally happen to me? I've been waiting for love for such a long time, and have been trying very hard (and took breaks as well) I must have e-mailed over 100 girls on dating websites, Spent $300+ on dating sites, and spent over $2000 (a large sum did go on a gold digger) on dating. What do I get? Some of the freakest freak show's I've seen in my life. I have yet to even date any "Decent" female.

Yes, I admit I have a very low self-esteem, however, when you get rejected non-stop, it does have an effect on the image you have of yourself. There are times where I cannot even look in the mirror at myself because I feel like such a failure.

I don't know what to do anymore, I cannot take this pain, I really cannot, and I'm sick of hearing people say "Have Patience, Your still young" because when all your friends your age are dating or married... What can you do? I have no friends I hang out with, I go to work and come home.. That's it. I do not like, and will not go places alone (clubs, party's) I do like going with people, but I never have people to go with.. All my coworkers are married so they are always busy, like I said before, all my past friends are married, and the same goes with my cousins.

I don't know what to do anymore. This pain is tearing me apart, and I want to make it stop. I'm not about to go to a doctor, they cannot help me find a relationship.

I have never wanted nor needed anything so much in my life, and I would give up EVERYTHING in my life just to have a relationship. I'm sick of having the same boring day every single day of my life!

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Old 01-18-2006, 06:20 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 557
gel2005 HB User
Re: Why?

Wow, I am sorry for the way you feel and what you are going through. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through and I am not going to lie and say that I do. I also am not going to tell you that you have no right to feel that way, because you do. I can't tell you why, sometimes I think there is no answer to that. Sometimes I think that in life we focus on the down side of our life, you know on what we don't have instead of what we do. That is something that I have been working on for the past couple years and it really has helped me in a few areas of my life. You sound like you have alot of friends even though they are married. I have moved so much in my life that I don't really have that many, so you can be happy for that. You also sound like a loving and caring guy and sometimes women take advantage of that. I know that being one myself. You also sound like you have done well for yourself.

Sometimes I think people look too hard for something. This goes for more then just relationships. That is what I am telling my brother in-law. He is young and kinda is in your situation. The girl he really care for was stolen away from a guy who was supposedly his friend. Everyone else is dating or married that he knows. I know that it is hard but try not to try looking for a while. Maybe you will meet someone at the grocery store, mall, or waiting to get your oil changed. I think alot of times it is all the unovbious places that we find the answers we are looking for.

From what I hear of you, you don't sound like a failure at all, just someone needing someone else. Try to think of the positive things about yourself. I have troubles doing that about myself. The good things are there you just have to let yourself say them and relize that they are infact good. It is not wrong to realize that you are not a failure and that there is good about you, Actually I think it is good for you self esteem and good for your health.

Well, I hoped that something I said helped. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I will pray that you will find someone.

Old 01-18-2006, 12:01 PM   #3
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Location: Apex, NC
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whackedback HB Userwhackedback HB Userwhackedback HB User
Re: Why?

Put some prayers in there for me. I've been looking all my life. Thought that I had found the one, but when she found out that I cared for her in a "more than friend" capacity, I got shot down so bad. Still recovering from that.


Old 01-18-2006, 12:16 PM   #4
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Near Wild Heaven
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dewdrop333 HB User
Re: Why?

I swear .. its funny .... I would never go to an internate dating site .. I would feel wierd about it .. I know so many people have .. and some do very well there .. My mom found her current husband online ...

But here .. where we are totaly anonymous .. there are so many poeple who would probably make good couples ... but .... it cant be ...

Heck .. if you were in my area .. I would go on a date with you ... but you are a bit young for me!

Hang in there .. I know its hard .. ALOT of us arent good at meeting people at clubs or bars ... ALOT of us have trouble hanging on to hope .. hope of meeting that right person for us ..

It will happen .. I will think good thoughts for you!
Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of children - The Crow

Old 01-18-2006, 12:31 PM   #5
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 557
gel2005 HB User
Re: Why?


I will keep you too in my thoughts and prayers. I feel bad for you, that is so hard when that happens. you will find her, in the last place you would expect to. Just think, you always find things you are looking for when you stop. ;-) Atleast I do any way.

Old 01-18-2006, 01:59 PM   #6
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 81
DAnn73 HB User
Re: Why?

I understand that a lot of people truly believe that "you will find him/her", or that some others simply say it to provide just a wee bit of hope to people who are lonely, or fed up with looking for someone. However, when people say that to me, I find it quite irritating (nothing against what anyone has posted thus far).

I mean - what IF you don't find someone? What IF you don't "stumble" across someone in the grocery store, or doing your laundry, or doing this or doing that? What IF some people just don't get that chance? I've been in love, I've been able to taste it for a while, but it obviously didn't last for me. I honestly have prepared for a future that doesn't include a man who has fallen in love with me. I don't necessarily think that it's giving up hope, I'm just being realistic. I don't walk around wondering "why me", but it is a bit unnerving, to say the least.

However, having said that, I'm going to school, I'm excited to be working a field that I absolutely love, I have my "fur children" (Basset hounds) to keep me company and I'm trying to live my life the best that I can. It can get quite lonely at times, but I honestly believe that some people are just going to live a life without a significant other, regardless of what they do or don't do. Pessimistic? Perhaps.

Old 01-18-2006, 02:13 PM   #7
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 557
gel2005 HB User
Re: Why?

I believe you are right Dann73. But it still does not hurt to have hope that you may find that person some day. I too believe that some people are just ment to be single, but I don't think that it is those people that actually hurt for someone.

Old 01-18-2006, 02:40 PM   #8
Hangin in There
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Hangin in There HB User
Re: Why?

Mike, what happened with the girl you were talking with that worked in the coffee shop at your job? I thought you were going to ask her out....

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