It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 01-23-2006, 10:16 AM   #1
    Stacey_x
    Newbie
     
    Stacey_x's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2006
    Location: England
    Posts: 4
    Stacey_x HB User
    abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    Heres the thing , iv been going out with my bf for just over a year now he is 23 and i am 16 . I do love him loads and he is the best thing in my life .
    But heres the thing , My boyfriend gets a little rough somtimes, you know what its like when they get excited and there is no way of stopping them. He makes me do things and wear thing which i really dont like but when i say no he gets really aggressive and gets real scary so i kinda givin. I say no quite a lot but its not like im pulling his hair out kicking and screaming saying no,im not putting up a huge fight. so it is mostly my fault. But my best friend she wont see it that way and she hates him my family hate him . there totally against me seeing him so its like im kinda stuck in the middle .
    He asked me to move in with him and i said yeah but they are totally against that to . I really do love him but they dont even give him a chance. My bf is always winding them up as well which doesnt help.They are all really edgey about me moving in with him but if i dont he will get really angry im really not sure what to do.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 01-23-2006, 10:36 AM   #2
    Murray67980
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Murray67980's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2005
    Posts: 235
    Murray67980 HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    PLEASE walk away from this guy and never look back!!!!! Listen to your family and friends, they care about you!!!!
    You should NEVER, EVER feel afraid of your boyfriend!!!! It will only get worse!!!!

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 10:53 AM   #3
    angel_light
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    angel_light's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2005
    Location: USA
    Posts: 492
    angel_light HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    You are 16??? And you are thinking of moving in with this man? You know that is against the law, a 23 year old man with a 16 year old girl. No matter how old you may feel.

    You are so young, and this man, your bf does not sound like a very good man, he has you, and you are young and naive and listen to him, this in turn gives him power, and it looks like he enjoys it. If he loved you, he would be curtious to your family and friends and not force you to do things you do not want to.

    I have been with my fiance for 4 years and he has never gotten "rough" with me. No we do not know what you mean, how he gets excited and there is no stopping him? What do you mean by that.

    Is your home life so bad that you want to move out at 16???
    I have a bad feeling about this guy, you better be careful you could get pregnant, and he would probably leave you once he gets everything he wants from you...

    You should not move in with him because he will get angry if you do not. I moved in with my fiance when I was 22. Not because he would be mad if i did not, because we were in a place where we could take care of one another without having to go without.

    Oh girly. Please let me know what you are thinking. See if he did not seem abusive I might think a little differently, but still the age difference at this age is alot, it won't seem so bad when you are older, but now it does not look good.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 10:53 AM   #4
    galinaqt
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    galinaqt's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2005
    Posts: 1,787
    galinaqt HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    I've been in abusive relationship. You telling him that you don't like his clothes is not the reason to become aggressive don't look for foult in yourself. Next will be hit you 'cause you smile or look at the clock and so on.
    You are lucky that your family know of him and care about you. Then sooner you break up with him then better for you. I was suffering from bad memories for many years and it could be worse.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 10:56 AM   #5
    jenna_250
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jan 2006
    Posts: 272
    jenna_250 HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    I really am at a loss for words here. You are 16 years old? you shouldn't even be thinking about moving in with a guy. He is 23? That is way too old for you. I would wager he is with you because he knows he can control you. I mean why would a 23 year old want to be with a 16 year old. Of course your family and friends hate him, he treats you terribly. no man should have control over you, or tell you what to wear, or make you feel scared of him. This sounds like a horrible situation. You are much too young ( and even if you weren't young, not one should be with a guy like this), please leave this guy. Nothing good will come of this. I know you want a boyfriend and at 16 it feels like you have to have a boyfriend to be happy, but you don't, and there are guys out there who will treat you a million times better than this guy. you are so young, you should be focusing on school and friends and just having fun wtih life, not moving in with an abusive guy.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 10:59 AM   #6
    Music4All
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Music4All's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Posts: 900
    Music4All HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    You have to get out! Listen to the wisdom of your parents and friends. If you think this is love, you need to step back and take an internal accounting as to your self worth and self esteem. Donít pervert the meaning of love by thinking and even saying that abuse is equal to love.

    You are headed down the road taken my thousands of women before you and their lessons mean nothing if not for you to heed them. Your bf is a cancer to you. He is poison. No one that loves another makes them do anything they do not want and certainly never scares them.

    You will end up hurt both physically and emotionally. You have to get out before you train yourself even deeper to think love can exist where fear and violence exists. It can't.

    Please consider how noble and worthy you are as a woman, and refuse to accept that a man can treat you any way except with respect and dignify.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 11:28 AM   #7
    susieq0726
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    susieq0726's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2004
    Location: Oregon
    Posts: 2,441
    susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    If I were your parent's I would have this man arrested. It's against the law for a 23 yr old man to be with a 16 yr old girl. At least it is in the USA.
    You are too young for him and he's an abusive jerk. Get out while you can.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 11:34 AM   #8
    Hiya
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 1,566
    Hiya HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    You titled your thread "abusive boyfriend..." which tells me you alrady know he's abusive, and his behavior is wrong. And you say it's your fault when he "gets rough" with you because you don't pull his hair and fight back hard enough? No, honey, it's not your fault. But you are not taking care of yourself by staying with someone you are afraid of and someone you know does't treat you the way you should be treated. What should you do? You should tell him you don't want to see him anymore, and have someone else with you when you do. If he gets angry to the point where he calls you time and time again, hangs out in front of your house, etc. then you call the police, file a complaint, get a restraining order. I'm sure as young as you are, you can still see how wrong it is to be with someone simply because you're too scared to leave them.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 11:48 AM   #9
    Stacey_x
    Newbie
     
    Stacey_x's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2006
    Location: England
    Posts: 4
    Stacey_x HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    I started going out with him when i was 15 , i thought when i was 16 the age gap will be ok.
    Dont get me wrong There are days when he is kind and gentle . But he could have anygirls he wants so i should be glad he choose me. My homelife has never been bad but it just seems a whole lot eaier if i lived with him because When he wants me to somthing and im not there he gos mad so its just easier if im with him .
    I have been real lucky this year iv been to the health clinic twice , but it is really annoying because he wont wear a condom but i feel real pressures to do it with him . so its hard to tell him without insulting him .
    I just wish they would all get of my back for once. and leave us alone.

    Last edited by Stacey_x; 01-23-2006 at 11:51 AM.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 11:59 AM   #10
    susieq0726
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    susieq0726's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2004
    Location: Oregon
    Posts: 2,441
    susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    If you stay with him you will (A) end up pregnant, (B) end up with a sexually transmitted disease or both (C) beat up or (D) dead. None of these options seem worth it to me.
    No offense sweetie, but this guy is a LOOOOOOOSER. Why do you think he's dating a 16 yr old girl????? Because women his own age won't go out with him! He just wants you to think he's God's gift to women. Believe me,,,he's not.

    Last edited by susieq0726; 01-23-2006 at 12:00 PM.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 12:03 PM   #11
    jenna_250
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jan 2006
    Posts: 272
    jenna_250 HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    Holy, in reading this thread I just feel so sad for you. You aren't listening to what anyone has to say are you? lucky he chose you? not at all, most women wouldn't want to be with someone like that...the reason he chose you is because you are young, naive, and let him treat you like dirt. Doesn't it seem strange that a 23 year old would want to be with someone so young? You want to move in with him because he gets mad that you aren't at his beck and call and available at all times, from the sounds of it. Trust me on this one, I have years of experience ahead of you, moving in with him is a huge mistake, he will just treat you more and more like a servant and get more and more abusive and demanding. You sound like you should be in counselling, and your parents should have this guy arrested. I'm just at a loss here, maybe someone else can do better. if you were my daughter I would be having this guy arrested, and sending you to live in another town or a boarding school or something. This is just so unhealthy I can't even believe it. The reason people aren't leaving you alone is because they care, this guy doesn't care about you.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 12:06 PM   #12
    Hiya
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 1,566
    Hiya HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Stacey_x
    Dont get me wrong There are days when he is kind and gentle . But he could have anygirls he wants so i should be glad he choose me..
    "Some days" he's kind and gentle? Big flippin' deal! That does not make up for the days he's cruel, angry and abusive. And I don't care how big a hunk some guy is, or how many women would love to be with him. If he "gets rough" with you, hurts you, scares, you , abuses you, then being with him is nothing to be glad about. I hear low self esteem pouring out in every word you say.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Stacey_x
    My homelife has never been bad but it just seems a whole lot eaier if i lived with him because When he wants me to somthing and im not there he gos mad so its just easier if im with him .
    I have been real lucky this year iv been to the health clinic twice , but it is really annoying because he wont wear a condom but i feel real pressures to do it with him . so its hard to tell him without insulting him .
    I just wish they would all get of my back for once. and leave us alone.

    I pray your friends an dfamily will stay on your back until you finally understand how controlling, dangerous, suffocating and unhealthy this man is, and how wrong it is for you to be with him. I can't even begin to tell you how confused, muddled and turned around your thinking is. And I'm not sure even what advice you're asking. Of course your family is not going to approve, and no one who gives a darn about you would ever approve of or like him, because he's a controlling, abusive jerk who is dangerous and unhealthy for you to be with. You should be finishing high school, going to school dances, preparing for the SATs, going to football games, Homecoming and the Prom, and enjoying being a teenager, NOT stressing over whether or not you got pregnant this time because your selfish, controlling jerk of a boyfriend refuses to use a condom. There is obviously a great deal you still have to learn about being a self-respecting young woman who takes care of herself. Because when a self-respecting, mature, strong woman is confronted with a man who refuses to use a condom, she simply says "sorry, no glove, no love" and she walks out and moves on to the next man who will think of her and her needs instead of being so selfish. Your family and friends love you and want you to be safe and happy, and you never will be with this guy. You won't find anyone here either who will tell you how to please him and how to get your family off your back, because that would not be in your best interest. What would be best for you is for you to open your eyes and see this man the way everyone else in your life sees him, for who he is, and get him out of your life as fast as possible.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 12:13 PM   #13
    rosequartz
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    rosequartz's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Location: Chicago,IL
    Posts: 11,286
    rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    I cosign with everyone elses here......you need to get away from this guy, and fast. We speak from experience. I've been in abusive relationships and so have others who have tried to get through to you. Do a search on the warning signs of abusive behavior.....I bet you can answer yes to every one of them. This guy is poison and he's only with you because he can control you because you're naive and you're LETTING him. He has shattered your self-esteem to the point where you think you can't do any better, yet you think he can have anyone he wants.....
    if he can have anyone he wants, why doesn't he get someone his own age? why doesn't he get an equal partner? It's because no one else would put up with his garbage. You need to listen to your friends and family, they have your best interests at heart......this loser does not.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 12:15 PM   #14
    galinaqt
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    galinaqt's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2005
    Posts: 1,787
    galinaqt HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    I remember you post same message in teen health and people gave you same advices as here. If you don't want to listen what is the point.

     
    Old 01-23-2006, 12:17 PM   #15
    Music4All
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Music4All's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Posts: 900
    Music4All HB User
    Re: abusive boyfriend who familly hate.

    One single day of clear and intentional abuse completely erases anything remotely positive he may offer. If your family has proof that he is abusive to you, I am at a loss for words as to how they could allow it to continue, no matter how angry you might get about it.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Boyfriend's Mother Makes MY BLOOD BOIL! gmp377 Relationship Health 19 07-20-2010 03:04 AM
    verbally and emotionally abusive parent? anxiety27 Relationship Health 25 01-03-2008 08:52 PM
    Older Boyfriend Getin Abusive And Cheating!!!!!!! sadie-boo Relationship Health 49 03-08-2006 12:12 PM
    Abusive boyfriend snazzy-girl Teen Health 40 01-16-2006 08:41 PM
    Pregnant with abusive boyfriend! scarlet15x Pregnancy-Teen 15 11-08-2005 11:28 AM
    Could he be abusive, or am I just paranoid? Missing-Me Relationship Health 19 11-29-2004 04:12 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:27 PM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!