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  • Do you concider this cheating?????

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    Old 03-09-2006, 07:40 PM   #1
    akb
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    Do you concider this cheating?????

    My husband and I have been fighting really bad in the last few days. He went out Sat. night and stayed at a friends house, he told me yesterday that he felt terrible about what he was going to tell me and hoped I would be understanding... He told me that while at this friends house he kissed a girl. I am devistated and don't know if I will ever be able to trust him again. Is this concidered cheating or am I going to extreme but I feel like I could end my marriage over this am I overreacting.. Please help

     
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    Old 03-09-2006, 07:55 PM   #2
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    I would definately consider that cheating. There must have been something that led up to that kiss. In my opinion, when you are involved in a relationship, whether married or just dating, kissing someone is totally out of line. Whether to leave him or not..i don't know..but i do know that if he is capable of kissing someone else, then he is probably capable of having sex with someone else.

    Last edited by US40126; 03-09-2006 at 07:56 PM.

     
    Old 03-09-2006, 08:06 PM   #3
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    YES I do consider it cheating if my husband kissed another woman id lose it and more then likely divorce him for it too because as the last poster said if he will kiss another he would prob do the whole nine too eventualy this would always be in my mind.I would wonder if he had told me the WHOLE truth too.I am not telling you too divorce over it you have to do what you feel is the right thing for you but im sure after this you will find it very hard to trust him.
    I hope it works out best whatever you do

     
    Old 03-09-2006, 08:44 PM   #4
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    Sounds like the tip of the ice berg to me. I've heard men who confess to kissing, then under more questioning claim it progressed to petting, and after more pressure admit to a one night stand, or worse. Yes, my cheater radar would be on red alert.

     
    Old 03-09-2006, 09:42 PM   #5
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    yes, kissing is in fact considered cheating
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    Old 03-09-2006, 10:26 PM   #6
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    Fighting badly and him being p*ssed off with you should not lead to kissing another woman. That IS considered cheating.

     
    Old 03-10-2006, 04:38 AM   #7
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    Hi AKB

    that sounds so devastating to hear from your husband he kissed another woman. ..like the others' say , he possibly could've tried to go further , even?

    You will be feeling so awful and hurt and confused what to do .

    I am going through similar circumstances at the moment my self , but have no proof yet .

    Do you think you could persuade him to go to counselling with you ,if he wants to remain in the marriage , ? ..

    to get him to be more honest and open about what happened , as sometimes another person /counsellor detached from the situation can get the truth out of them ,

    as I think the wrongdoer can't bring themselves to say anymore in case they hurt you..and maybe feel ashamed?

    If he reveals MORE happened , are you wishing to continue...., ?

    Remember , YOU were both only having some fights , you we'ren't the one who " cheated " ??

    and YES , I would feel my husband was cheating if he even 'touched' another woman let alone kissed her !!

    I think some men can very easily stray at times , when circumstances are ripe !...also when other women may be on the prowl , they can pick on innocent vulnerable men..

    So if he felt guilty enough to tell you he kissed this woman , AKB,

    then maybe you could put him on the spot and ask him to go to deep counselling with you to salvage what's left , ?? and see if that mighthelp you forgive him ?

    but only you know in your heart if you want to try and stay in there !...

    Good luck , AKB , I'm thinking of you !!...
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    Old 03-10-2006, 05:34 AM   #8
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    I was going to say pretty much what Eve said...he admits to kissing...huuummm...I bet there was more than just kissing. Haha...Eve, my cheater radar is always on! I think cheating has become like an epidemic anymore...it seems like everyone's cheating...so sad!!!
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    Last edited by keepsgoin; 03-10-2006 at 05:36 AM.

     
    Old 03-10-2006, 09:11 AM   #9
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    It absolutely IS cheating! And I doubt this is the first time or that it will be the last! Once a person destroys the trust that someone has in them, it's almost impossible to get it back! He don't need to be spending the night anywhere except at home with you. I would venture to say that he and this woman (and his friend too!) had this little scenario all planned out! You'd better take control of this right now! There are too many nasty diseases going around but mostly it's a matter of respect! And obviously, he has none for you! Pack his crap and send him walking!

     
    Old 03-17-2006, 12:14 PM   #10
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    I think kissing someone else when you are in a relationship married or dating is cheating. I don't know if I would throw him out over it though. My fear would be if he kissed her and if we were to argue again and he goes off again with her will it just be a kiss next time or more. It's good he was honest, I'd give him that much credit but I would keep my eye on him. That's just me.

     
    Old 03-17-2006, 02:42 PM   #11
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    Million bucks says it's more than that. All guys say kissing to scope you out. It's as common as a teenager getting caught w/ ciggs and them saying, "They're not mine. I was holding them for a friend." Like we've never heard THAT before! PUHLEEZE!

    I don't mean to be harsh, I know ithurts like heck--been there, done that. Just want you to open up your eyes. I'd get a freaking lie detector test and medical tests b4 I let him back in my bed!

     
    Old 03-17-2006, 05:02 PM   #12
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    AKB I feel really bad for you in this situation! I had the same exact thing happen to me before. The same senario. He said he felt really bad, wanted to be honest with me, confess because of the guilt, but it was just one kiss, etc.. We had been together for 7 years at that point, and he said it was a bad decision to act so stupid, and wanted to work on our marriage. We did, 3 years later we were divorced. I'm not saying this will happen to you, but it's a serious wake up call. Looking back, I think he confessed because he thought I might hear something from one of his guy friends about what went on that night. Kind of covering his butt.

    Last edited by desertdweller; 03-17-2006 at 05:03 PM.

     
    Old 03-17-2006, 09:33 PM   #13
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    I would tell him to go back to her wherever she was at. There is no question- IT WAS CHEATING!!!

     
    Old 03-18-2006, 01:58 PM   #14
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    def cheating

     
    Old 03-19-2006, 02:42 PM   #15
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    Re: Do you concider this cheating?????

    I think what's important is what *you* consider it, and what you really want to do about it. It sounds like you consider this cheating, so would anything change your mind? If not, then your husband cheated on you in your mind. So, the only question left is: Can *your* marriage survive infidelity? Personally, I wouldn't be so quick to answer that question one way or the other, but *you* have to decide whether you can forgive, trust and move on. What someone else would do is not really an issue.
    You may not ever know for certain the full extent of what happened, but if you can't forgive what he did, it doesn't really matter. If you *can* forgive it, then make him get tested because the full extent of what he did definitely matters in the realm of STD's.

     
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