It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board

  • My friend needs a place to stay

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 04-12-2006, 02:37 PM   #1
    angel_light
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    angel_light's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2005
    Location: USA
    Posts: 492
    angel_light HB User
    My friend needs a place to stay

    Ok here is my problem... a friend of mine and my fiances is a female... she is graduating college, and does not want to live where she is now.. and asked if she could possibly live with us for awhile.. awhile could be a year if she is trying to get into this other program...

    I have a busy enough household having to put up with my fiances brother, now this... I do not want to say no.. but I think if she were to live there, it would mess up the way we are... we would have to move our office to our garage or make a room in our garage for her...

    I do not mind the latter, because at least we would not share a wall, if you know what I mean... but what do we do... My fiance would feel bad, since I told her it would be ok... and now I am wanting to back out... Ugh..

    Could something like this make our relationship bad..? Like when people are staying at our house.. we do not usually have sex or anything like that.. because he is uncomfortable, even if the person is on the other side of the house.. I think this might damper our relationship...

    Maybe I am just freaking out, but I do not want this to happen now.. it is not a for sure thing.. but it could possibly be. She does have a bf.. which lives like an hour and a half a way. So I am not too too worried about her making moves on my fiance, but she loves to drink.. and I do not get along with one of her roommates.. and if she lived with us.. they might be coming over to see her and hang out with her.. which again would drive me insane... we just did not think this far in advance... what do I do?

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 04-12-2006, 03:15 PM   #2
    keepsgoin
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    keepsgoin's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2005
    Location: USA
    Posts: 1,536
    keepsgoin HB User
    Re: My friend needs a place to stay

    JMHO but....I'd say NOT NO BUT *H* NO!!!!!!!!!! There's absolutely no way I'd allow this to happen...sorry but I wouldn't even give it a second's thought!
    __________________
    I tells it likes a sees it
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Last edited by keepsgoin; 04-12-2006 at 03:17 PM.

     
    Old 04-12-2006, 08:02 PM   #3
    SweetHome
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    SweetHome's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 194
    SweetHome HB User
    Re: My friend needs a place to stay

    You don't need a reason to tell someone you don't want them to move in with you. It is your house remember.

    Your household is your business... I don't see why you would even consider having another woman move in with you and your man

     
    Old 04-12-2006, 08:21 PM   #4
    tnmomofive
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    tnmomofive's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 2,101
    tnmomofive HB User
    Re: My friend needs a place to stay

    Well I deffinitly would tell her "im sorry but its not going to happen" I think it would be a very bad idea.Not to say this will happen but my husband ,then b/f, and our first child shared and apartment with a woman once.Let me tell you that was crazy she had a b/f but I later found out her b/f was a married man!Then she developed feelings I guess for my man and the hosebag tried to pursue it of course my man was not gonna go there with her but she still persisted I got into a brawl with her in the apartment one day and everything then we had no choice but to break the lease and move out.Anyway,even if nothing like this would happen with you guys still so many other reasons why I wouldnt allow her to move in besides the fact like you say your fiances brother already is living there.I would just tell her nicely that you have thought it over better and just dont want her to live there.

     
    Old 04-13-2006, 04:50 AM   #5
    millpark26
    Veteran
    (male)
     
    millpark26's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Posts: 364
    millpark26 HB User
    Re: My friend needs a place to stay

    I'd tell her your "plate is full" right now so it wouldn't be a good idea.

     
    Old 04-13-2006, 11:17 AM   #6
    angel_light
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    angel_light's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2005
    Location: USA
    Posts: 492
    angel_light HB User
    Re: My friend needs a place to stay

    Yea especially after we had all of that other drama him and I were having... I just feel like she likes my fiance a bit much. She calls him all the time.. when her bf and her fight.. she calls him crying "what do I do".. etc. She asks about classes that he took when he was in college, which is fine... She says he is like a big brother... and that is fine... but it just seems that she might eventually think more, esp. if she were to live with us, you know? I would totally feel uneasy about visiting my family for a weekend if she were there... I would know I am 2200 miles away and she is there with him all alone... for days.. Yea I just could not take that.. I do not even want to leave to visit my family now because I am a little uneasy. Because of everything that happened. I cannot fully trust him yet.

    She stayed with us once before when we had an apartment. But it was for about a month.. and two weeks of that we were visiting my family. So it bothered me... but not as much... plus I knew she would be moving out soon, you know? Plus it was partly his fault she ended up without a place for a month, he told her to move somewhere she did it turned sour. Yea we could use the extra rent from someone, and it would let us save up, but at the same time is it worth it?

    Yea, his brother lives with us. That is plenty I think. 3 of us is enough. Now if we were married I would want him to be looking to move out soon too, but right now it is fine.

     
    Old 04-13-2006, 03:39 PM   #7
    Hangin in There
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Hangin in There's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2004
    Posts: 1,069
    Hangin in There HB User
    Re: My friend needs a place to stay

    Another resounding NO!!

     
    Old 04-13-2006, 03:46 PM   #8
    Nina000
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Nina000's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2005
    Location: The UK
    Posts: 1,314
    Nina000 HB User
    Re: My friend needs a place to stay

    I would agree: It's your place and you have the right to say "no". However, I would seriously question the love of a man who makes me feel that insecure that I cannot welcome a guest in my house. I know some women can be quite fliratious and push innocent men to flirt back, and you seriously don't need this headache. Get embarrassed once by saying no to her, rather than getting embarrassed constantly in awkward situations if she moved in.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Please help! Need advice re codependent friend moongirl0719 Relationship Health 19 06-09-2006 10:40 AM
    Long Distance Friend: Could it Ever be More or Is It Pure Fantasy? SophiaM Relationship Health 16 11-16-2005 05:50 PM
    Best Friend vs Boyfriend Worrytomuch Relationship Health 6 04-06-2005 11:48 AM
    What's a Friend to Do? goody2shuz Relationship Health 221 03-13-2005 01:21 PM
    Friend is a raging alcoholic Trooper Addiction & Recovery 27 03-02-2004 07:59 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:55 PM.





    © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!