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Don't know what to make of anything.

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Old 07-10-2006, 07:15 AM   #1
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Cram HB User
Don't know what to make of anything.

I went out with a girl for nearly 3 years. I broke up with her in the beginning of March and we went back and forth for 2 months only for me to end up asking her back out at the end of april and her rejecting me. 1 month later and she already had a new boyfriend. The thing about the guy is that he might be the only guy in the world who has no advantage on me except for the fact that he has no past with her. I interpretted everything as a rebound and gave her space until her birthday. On her birthday (end of June) I sent her a card that said:

her name

Have a nice 21st birthday. I hope you get to do something special.

- my name

I also stamped and colored in a butterfly on the card because I know she likes butterflies. At this point I think I was starting to understand that I no longer had a chance with her. A few days pass by and I go online (I rarely go on AIM). She signs on and within a minute says "thanks for the card". I say "your welcome" and then there is nothing for 5 minutes. Then she asks how I am and we have a 3 hour conversation which I tried to keep the focus on her. I tell her that I have to go and that it was nice talking with her. 3 days go by and she calls me asking if I have any of her things at my house. I said that I didn't and that I wasn't home (I was dunkin donuts meeting a friend). Then she says that she was calling just to see if I had anything I needed to talk about. I said no and that maybe i'd call her back later. I never did though. 2 days go by and she texts and asks if i'm in my house near the school we both go to (she goes there because I go there). I tell her no and asked her why she's asking. She said that she was down there paying bills and staying over her apartment. The next day (Friday) she calls me twice and leaves a message on the second call. It said "If you aren't working tonight or aren't busy and want to do something, call me back". I was feeling ecstatic. I really thought things were great. I call her back and we start talking, but the phone is somewhat breaking up. She's riding back from the apartment and is telling me about her car problems. We get disconnected and I try calling back, but I only let it ring 3 or 4 times. She didn't call back that night. The next day (Saturday) I text her asking "what happened and is everything ok". She texted "sorry my phone died". No communication on Sunday and then this morning I go on myspace only to see she has a picture of her with her boyfriend. His arm is around her. Nothing racey or anything (looks friendly more than anything else), but I just don't get it. I can't figure out what happened or what she was feeling. All I know is that I feel the heartbreak again. Do any females (or female intelligent males) have any idea what this means?

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Old 07-10-2006, 09:59 AM   #2
Join Date: May 2006
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 745
minnesotagirl HB User
Re: Don't know what to make of anything.

It sounds to me like she is enjoying the attention being given to her by you, while also enjoying the company of her new boyfriend. If this is the case, that is not fair to you or the new boyfriend. It is called "having your cake and eating it too."

However, to truly know why she wants to see you or why she calls you now, all you have to do is ask her. You must realize her intentions in a clear and consise way, in order to spare your feelings. It sounds like you still have a lot of feelings for her, but you can't keep chasing someone who has moved on with someone else.

Old 07-10-2006, 10:15 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: ny
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Re: Don't know what to make of anything.

Oddly enough she changed her picture back to what it used to be. The thing is that I don't try to talk to her. The only time I did call her was the time she said to call her back if I wasn't busy and wanted to see her, and I didn't mention hanging out or anything, then we got disconnected. When she does call or leave me texts, I ask her generic questions about her work and family and i'm always the one who says I have to go.

I'm not sure asking her what she intended would be such a good idea. Being away from her as allowed me to reflect on what behavior and questions she likes and what turns her off. Asking her intentions would put myself out there, perhaps too much. She is much more responsive to action.

Maybe calling her back that one day proved to her that I still have an interest and that's all she needed to know? Even then it seems strange because she's the one who had to go the extra mile for me to call her. I can't make sense of this whole thing.

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