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ispyrebel 08-20-2006 07:23 AM

Are there any classes for....
Learning how to leave your husband??


I need to leave him and Thursday he tells me I cant take ANYTHING with me. I lost my job 4 years ago (steady good paying job of 4 years) and have had crap jobs part time he says I dont work and bring in money for over 4 years so I shouldnt be able to take anything with me.
(NOTE:) He only owned a tool box and microwave when we got married.
I need to learn how to leave him.
No chance for reconciliation.
Dont like each other
Just want out.
So, is there a class I can go to to learn how to leave him?

laurie864bla 08-20-2006 07:27 AM

Re: Are there any classes for....
You need a good lawyer to school you, hun!!! Do not leave with nothing. DO you have kids? If there is a big disparity of income between you two, you could get alimony as well. Talk to a good lawer. Also I would check out some info on the www. Good luck.

keepsgoin 08-20-2006 08:03 AM

Re: Are there any classes for....
Don't listen to what "soon to be X" husband is telling you...he's full of bull! In most states it's 50/50. Go file for divorce and the lawyer will tell you how to procede. My lawyer told me to go take everything that wasn't nailed down but I didn't do it that divorce wasn't nasty. We are still friendly to this day. Also what laurie said is true...he may even have to pay you alimony(spousal support).

cookiepls 08-20-2006 09:04 AM

Re: Are there any classes for....
Just because you haven't brought in much money doesn't mean he now owns everything. Did he replace everything in the last 4 years with his own money? That's laughable. Take what you know is yours and call a lawyer.

Thanksgiving 08-20-2006 10:06 AM

Re: Are there any classes for....
As for alimony you have to be without income for 10 years or if you are disabled. that is the law here in Ohio

amy2705 08-20-2006 12:18 PM

Re: Are there any classes for....
Lucky for you that what HE thinks doesn't count!
He can think whatever he wants but he can't change the law.

As a PARTNER you are entitled to half of whatever was accumulated during the marriage. Where I'm from, the only things that aren't split are court settlements and inheritances (i.e. if either of you got one, it's 100% yours).

Unless there's violence involved, don't leave the house until you've talked to a lawyer. If you don't have a lawyer or are worried about the money, call your state bar and ask them for a referral.

Don't listen to him. You have rights and he has no say in that!

Good luck

desertdweller 08-21-2006 11:01 AM

Re: Are there any classes for....
If you don't have money for a lawyer, try going to the courthouse and sign up for a free lawyer. Most states do have lawyers available for low income divorces. If he senses you are leaving, be careful that he doesn't take all the money from the bank acct.s and open his own secret one. A legal separation helps prevent someone from emptying bank accts., removing someone from insurance, etc., it basically 'freezes' everything until the divorce is settled. Like it has been stated already, DON"T leave the house until your lawyer says to. Leaving takes away some of your rights. It is typical for a supporting husband to say that you don't get anything:rolleyes: , he's wrong;)

ispyrebel 08-21-2006 11:06 AM

Re: Are there any classes for....
Thanks All..

I live in Florida.
Here is the funny part of all this. I only want to leave with what I came with and my car.
Not much.
We purchased 5 acres for 24,000 bucks in 2000. We built a home on it for 106,000.
Today it is valued at $365K
He got a refinance loan in his name only cause I didnt have a full time job at the time, now he says that everything is in his name cause he paid off stuff with the extra money on the loan.
I cant leave with nothing. I dont think that would be right.

Here is my fears.
If I start to pack stuff to move out, he will throw a fit that I am taking anything.
This could be bad.
If I rent a mover, they would have to do it in less than 8 hours. Can they do that? I doubt it.
If he had any idea that I was going to take anything, he would start hidding stuff, or like he told me one day, call the cops and say I was beating on him.
So....I need to get a FAST mover to haul me away...

dewdrop333 08-21-2006 03:00 PM

Re: Are there any classes for....
I had to get my stuff out quickly when I left too. This is what I would do

Wait until he was out of the house and you KNOW when he is due to be home. grab everything of value .. baby pictures, personal items ...POack it up and you can have it shipped to you if you cant take it right away (a friend may have to help here)

Then, go to the bank and take 1/2 of the cash out ...

Then get to wherever you are going to go (a friends house or a new apartment) ...

Then call him and tell him what you have done (do it from a payphone if you are changing your number or something so he won't do the freak out call back) ...

Talk to your lawyer (get one ASAP) .. I did something very similar to this when I left my ex and my lawyer let me know that everything was on the up and up so I had nothing to wory about.

Dont leave all your stuff ... dont think that he gets all the money because he worked outside the home ... you deserve 1/2 (if the law says so in your state) .. take what is yours ... do it when he is gone ... and get the heck out.

There will be alot that you miss .. or can't take ... get what is importiant .. what is not replaceable ... pictures ... your jewlery ... at least one suitcase of clothes ... your camera .. your computer .. (at least the tower if not the monitor .. it takes up alot of space)

Good luck ...

tenagain 08-21-2006 03:10 PM

Re: Are there any classes for....
as someone here already posted, DO NOT leave the house until you've contacted a lawyer---there could be repercussions if you abandon the relationship. Your lawyer will help you figure out how to leave legally. Since you are married the house is 1/2 yours so he's going to be in a world of hurting once you [I]divorce[/I] him--it sounds like he knows this too....

babe1973 08-21-2006 03:11 PM

Re: Are there any classes for....
unless you signed a prenup when you married, there is no chance for him to keep everything. If you have kids, you can kick him out of the house. Don't make the big mistake (leaving the house). You definitely have to get a good lawyer (I suggest a male, so that the court wouldn't think it's a woman-man war).
Good luck. I know what you are going through. I have experienced this... But there is justice and laws.

amy2705 08-21-2006 04:25 PM

Re: Are there any classes for....
Florida has equitable division of marital property (which includes, for example: cars, houses, retirement benefits (pensions), business interests, cash, stocks, bonds, bank accounts, personal property and other things of value, etc.).

In Florida, it doesn't matter who holds the title to these things - i.e. it makes NO difference if the the house, etc. is in your husband's name. You are entitled to half. Do not let him tell you otherwise.

It doesn't matter if title is in his name. It doesn't matter if you only worked part time. He has no exclusive claim on "marital" property (a marriage involves 2 people, not just him! The property belongs to the people in the marriage - not the person who had the higher salary!).

I'd get a lawyer asap - but in the meantime, you can also go down to the local court house and get the information they have available (I'm pretty sure it covers the basics of what to do, the rules...)

Lots of luck!

laurie864bla 08-21-2006 04:31 PM

Re: Are there any classes for....
OMG!! DO NOT leave that house!!! Half that money is yours, and you'll need it and regret it just wanting to be over!!! Believe me, hun---I wanted the fast forward button too!! DO NOT DO IT!!! You will need and DESERVE your money for......well...TIME SERVED if nothing else. Did I mention, DO NOT LEAVE WITH NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

StenoLady1 08-21-2006 08:12 PM

Re: Are there any classes for....
I completely agree with Amy. I work in the legal industry in FL, and she is correct.

You must seek legal advice from a lawyer. Contact your local "Legal Aid" office if money is tight.

You should seek legal advice on this, because I come across many, many dissolutions here in FL where one spouse left the house. A year or two later, they're sitting in chambers with a judge getting a divorce and they still get half. Figure lots of folks are in abusive relationships. They can't be expected to just stay until they're able to leave with the stuff they want.

If he goes and hides money or personal property, there will be a record of this that will be subpoenaed and reviewed by the attorneys and judge. Filthy rich people (think Trump) are able to hide their money real good; not your average folk. If he withdraws $8,000 out of your checking/savings account tomorrow, there will be a record of that in a few years -- and the same goes for you, too -- and he will have to account for it.

Talk to a lawyer as soon as you can. Florida has Legal Aid, which is very, very good.

keepsgoin 08-22-2006 06:09 AM

Re: Are there any classes for....
I suppose your husband thought he was being cleaver by putting the loan for the house in just his far as you only having a part time job should not have had any bearing in that stupid, I did NOT work and my name was always on our home loans...but your husband wasn't cleaver because it doesn't make a hill of beans, you are married and half of what that house is worth is yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He will most likely have to sell it or give you half of the appraised value of the home!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You must go and see the lawyer NOW!

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